Strange Denizens of the health club hot tub/sauna/steam

Following in the footsteps of other strange sightings during training sessions at a health club. At lunch today I saw…

  1. young couple that appears to be Spring Breakin’ it in the steam room. Nice bikini, baby oil and tramp stamp though
  2. Two 70’ish identical twin brothers with one helping the sight impaired brother through to steam room. Only one got to see the bikini.
  3. A woman just hanging out telling stories next to the hot tub while I did my stretching. I swear I’ve never seen her workout once.
  4. a woman delivering lunch to someone in the steam room or sauna.

I never go in the sauna. However, at my local gym I saw they had a sign posted on the door stating something along the lines of, “Do not poor your coffee into the steam machine”

Why are people doing this?

I’ll go months and not step foot into that area of our club. All the more reason for the “shock” of sightings today

Grosses me out when:

  1. people shave in the steam room
  2. people are completely nude in steam room
  3. people are stretching nude in the steam room
  4. people are coughing up phlegm in the steam room
  5. people leave their sweating gym clothes in the sauna to dry out
  6. people that do a weird reverse dry humping the wall nude in the sauna
  7. people that talk to their buddies with the steam/sauna door open as they walk in for 5 minutes
    .

Inevitably I seem to see:

  • Early 20s workout chick, bought everything she is wearing from foot locker. Under Armour OR Nike (but not both at the same time because THAT is crazy) shoes, socks, tights, sports bra, cut-off shirt, beats by dre, full makeup, ponytail. Walks right into the steam room.

Middle aged Asian woman walks into the sauna. She’s in a swimsuit, with a towel wrapped around her torso; and she’s wearing $30 Kaiman EXO goggles. Stands directly facing the heating unit and proceeds to flap her arms like a bird for two minutes then walks out. Never gets in the pool.

The 40ish dude making out with his mid 20s wife.

I had the manager ask them to stop.

/points if you get the reference

I’ve been a member of a health club for 20+ years and I’ve never once been in the sauna or steam room. Hot tub a few times before swimming. Reading this post confirms my decision.

I usually try to use the sauna if I have a race in hot location to get used to the heat since I happen to live in a freaking freezer most of the year. Otherwise I try to avoid it. This one had a sign “Shaving is not allowed in the sauna or steam room”… Too bad shaving my legs while heat acclimating is out of the window now.

http://cdn.meme.am/instances/54510033.jpg
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The 40ish dude making out with his mid 20s wife.

I had the manager ask them to stop.

/points if you get the reference

Sounds like something that would have come up in a Demerly thread…

Middle aged Asian woman walks into the sauna. She’s in a swimsuit, with a towel wrapped around her torso; and she’s wearing $30 Kaiman EXO goggles. Stands directly facing the heating unit and proceeds to flap her arms like a bird for two minutes then walks out. Never gets in the pool.

Whats odd about that??

Seems to me these Denizens are a blessing and should be encouraged. More of these in the sauna means fewer in the pool.

Sounds like something that would have come up in a Demerly thread…

5 points!

At a YMCA, on the north side of Indianapolis, the hot tubs are in the locker rooms. It seems to be trendy there for men to get into the hot tub completely naked despite signs clearly stating not to do so. It’s so disgusting. I did not renew my membership there.

omg.

a young lady in the crowded steam room, sensually massaging her foot for ten minutes with both hands. It could have been PF but more likely it was a floor demo.

a mother in the steam room with her young daughter, explaining that she was a princess and should always expect presents from men who wanted to spend time with her

the other young lady in the steam room who planted her towel on the bench, went off for twenty minutes to do whatever, came back and got mouthy with the person who moved her towel and took her place

the two young dudes in the hot tub who think they’re in da club and visibly rate/make comments about the women walking past

the people who somehow transport sand into the hot tub. Sand.

I’ve spent the last few weeks in central Bavaria. The sauna I went to alternated men’s night/women’s night/coed night. I’m American, and the thing I found most odd is that I didn’t see anything odd. No one shaving, no one clipping toenails, etc…it was awesome.

Oh the list goes on and on and Asians seem to top the list here at my gym… both in the pool and sauna
I have seen the arm flapping and walk outThe guys that never work out (300lbs plus) and walk from the front door to the sauna… and back to the carPeople that take the kick boards in to the sauna to sit onThe push up guy… (I would never touch the ground in there…)
Yesterday this woman was making all kinds of strange noises… and was in a white shirt and panties… yep i checked. You could hear her from outside the sauna, then she goes in to the hot tub and starts the same shit… This guy goes and gets management because he thinks she is having a stroke or something. She gets all pissed “you are messing with my energy dump, i teach this for a living and i am just reciting a mantra ok”.

Middle aged Asian woman walks into the sauna. She’s in a swimsuit, with a towel wrapped around her torso; and she’s wearing $30 Kaiman EXO goggles. Stands directly facing the heating unit and proceeds to flap her arms like a bird for two minutes then walks out. Never gets in the pool.

Whats odd about that??

You can get them for $20-25 most places.

I lived in Germany for 5 years and i was a regular at the local sports club. I found that Germans like to live their lives by a rigid set of rules most of which are unwritten and god help you if you break them. Tuesday night was “nature” night at our local public sports centre which meant that all activities could be enjoyed completely naked. I used to go in after rugby training (outside and fully clothed) and hit the steam room after cleaning off. I quickly realised that i was the only guy looking at the hot ladies in the room, everyone else maintained a fixed stare out of the front of the steam room and never made eye contact.

Loved Germany.