A local venue is hosting a Speed Dating event this weekend, aaaaaand… I signed up for it.
Does anyone here have any experience with events like these? Everything I know about speed dating is from t.v. and movies. From what I gather, we get 5-10mins sitting across someone else, we talk, a bell rings, we move seats to a new person, repeat. At the end of the event, we write down who we would like to get to know more and if the names match up, we get their contact info.
Any tips or advice for a middle age male?
What would be good questions to ask in such a setting? If I only get 5 mins, I am not asking what their favourite colour or they think will win the Superbowl. (
Ask them how many kids they want. Would they be okay with you coming home late at night after being in the bar until 2am? Is their sister good looking?
I guess it really depends on what you’re looking for. If it is only a hook-up, then what you ask probably isn’t that important. If you’re looking for a possible relationship of some kind, I would ask what they like to do when they’re not on a date. Do they have friends that they spend time with or are they mostly alone? Either answer can be good or bad.
You’ll only have time for 3-4 questions because you’ll also need to answer theirs. Google “best speed dating questions†and find some you think ask the most important questions that you would want answers to.
That said, you need to establish a connection with the other person, so you don’t want it to sound like a job interview. Ask a quirky question like “in a word how would your friends describe you?†Smile and listen a lot. Make and keep eye contact and comment on their answers so they know you’ve actually listened.
You can also admit to being nervous as this is your first time speed dating. That admission can be disarming and make them know you’re willing to admit to your vulnerabilities.
Thank them genuinely for spending time with you at the end.
Essentially you want them to think you’re interesting and harmless, have a sense of humor and are intelligent, well spoken, compassionate, good looking, hygienic etc etc!
“The good ones are mostly taken.” This applies to women as well as men.
You do not want anything to do with 95% of the people you will meet.
A) Don’t take rejection seriously.
You don’t want to be the Ken doll for: I) Chrystal Meth Barbie, II) Welfare/baby-daddy-child-support obesity Barbie, III) "My kids need a quality step-dad. Please set your own kids on fire, so you can be this for me " Barbie.
Etc
Etc
(If you are gay or female, there are many other horrible gender-stereotype-conforming losers out there also).
Etc.
Etc.
B) Ask discerning questions. The goal is for you to discover what you want!
C) Amongst the few quality people you will meet, many will reject you for petty and arbitrary reasons.
You’ll only have time for 3-4 questions because you’ll also need to answer theirs. Google “best speed dating questions†and find some you think ask the most important questions that you would want answers to.
That said, you need to establish a connection with the other person, so you don’t want it to sound like a job interview. Ask a quirky question like “in a word how would your friends describe you?†Smile and listen a lot. Make and keep eye contact and comment on their answers so they know you’ve actually listened.
You can also admit to being nervous as this is your first time speed dating. That admission can be disarming and make them know you’re willing to admit to your vulnerabilities.
**Thank them genuinely for spending time with you at the end. **
Essentially you want them to think you’re interesting and harmless, have a sense of humor and are intelligent, well spoken, compassionate, good looking, hygienic etc etc!
I know this sounds narrow minded, but if I’m looking to figure out if there is any potential for us whatsoever, my first question would be, “What’s your opinion of Donald Trump?” The answer should save you from wasting any more time.
Second question would be “Are you religious?”. See above.
You can whittle it down pretty quickly if you ask the right questions. Starting with generic fluff like “do you prefer nights on the couch or dancing with friends?” gets you nowhere fast.
You’ll only have time for 3-4 questions because you’ll also need to answer theirs. Google “best speed dating questions†and find some you think ask the most important questions that you would want answers to.
That said, you need to establish a connection with the other person, so you don’t want it to sound like a job interview. Ask a quirky question like “in a word how would your friends describe you?†Smile and listen a lot. Make and keep eye contact and comment on their answers so they know you’ve actually listened.
You can also admit to being nervous as this is your first time speed dating. That admission can be disarming and make them know you’re willing to admit to your vulnerabilities.
**Thank them genuinely for spending time with you at the end. **
Essentially you want them to think you’re interesting and harmless, have a sense of humor and are intelligent, well spoken, compassionate, good looking, hygienic etc etc!
Whoever said it’s going to be a lot of snap judgement and arbitrary choices is right. Be pleasant, interested and brush your teeth before you go.
Go with low expectations - you won’t be disappointed.
There’s a funny Gilmore Girls episode with speed dating.
I have a friend who went to a speed dating event that her friend was organizing (they needed more warm bodies - I mean women). She struck up a conversation with a guy before the event started (he was participating) and they hit it off. They’ve been married for more than 15 years now, so there’s hope.
Ask them how many kids they want. Would they be okay with you coming home late at night after being in the bar until 2am? Is their sister good looking?.
To come up with a strategy, we have to know what we’re working with.
Do you do anything interesting? Work? Hobbies?
Have you done anything interesting in the past?
How ugly are you? 1 to 10 scale
Are you funny? 1 to 10 scale
You are not there to determine compatibility, you were there to generate interest. Other things can come at a later time but if you don’t get past the window shopping, then none of the rest of it matters.
Be interesting.
Be funny if possible.
Talk very little about yourself.
Ask a couple of questions about them. Don’t have this too planned or it will come off as a canned job interview… Other guys will do that so avoid the script if you can.
Body language, smile, and eye contact matter a lot.
A local venue is hosting a Speed Dating event this weekend, aaaaaand… I signed up for it.
Does anyone here have any experience with events like these? Everything I know about speed dating is from t.v. and movies. From what I gather, we get 5-10mins sitting across someone else, we talk, a bell rings, we move seats to a new person, repeat. At the end of the event, we write down who we would like to get to know more and if the names match up, we get their contact info.
Any tips or advice for a middle age male?
What would be good questions to ask in such a setting? If I only get 5 mins, I am not asking what their favourite colour or they think will win the Superbowl.
No suggestions as I’ve been married for coming up on 38 years, but, please update us after the event. I am sure you will have some funny things to share.
