Sometimes a workout is about more than just physical fitness

Triathlon Forum
1

I have been having a rough time the last several days due to illness. I don’t know exactly what is going on - I just have felt very tired and just plain miserable with nausea. It seems like I need 12 hrs of sleep to feel rested. Something is definitely wrong but I simply don’t know what - and neither do my doctors. My guess is that it is related to my underlying hormonal disorder (pituitary failure). So right now I’m just having to slug it out…

As you can imagine, it has made it very difficult to get my workouts in. I missed yesterday’s upper body workout because I just didn’t have any energy left after I got home from my doctor’s appointment. Today, I didn’t get up until noon but still felt absolutely miserable. I felt like I had a terrible hangover but I haven’t had a thing to drink since I started training in January! No fair!!!

My usual workout on Thursdays is a 10-20 mile bike ride with a few big hills thrown in to improve my climbing ability. I came downstairs somewhat in a fog, feeling like I had just been run over by a truck. I sat down on the couch, frustrated and overwhelmed by it all…

“Man Jim! I’m sorry buddy…but I just don’t know what’s going on… I’ve done everything I can to try to figure it out but, I simply don’t know why you feel so bad. I’d like to think it is something as simple as a cold or allergies but I’m afraid it might be more serious than that…”

I felt that nagging but familiar fear that illness might once again shoot down my latest comeback as it had done so many times over the years. And then my frustration and fear turned into tears…

“Oh Lord… I’m so tired of fighting this thing… I just want to live my life…”

From a logical perspective there was no way I should do my bike ride today. The ‘prudent’ thing to do would be to wait until I felt better and then get back on track… But the stark reality - at least for now - is that with my illness, I sometimes have to work out when I don’t feel well, or I simply won’t be able to get in enough workouts to make much difference. I knew that I had a tough choice to make but it seemed like perhaps I was getting a little coaching from above…

“Jim! You MUST get on that bike right now! You need to know TODAY that this illness will not derail your comeback! Yes! Today’s ride may be painful physically, but how much EMOTIONAL pain will you be in if you don’t ride?!”

Suddenly, it was a no-brainer…time to ride… So I sucked it up, got ready and headed out into the Santee midday heat…

It was immediately clear that I wasn’t my usual self. I felt quite slow on the bike… As I reached the outskirts of Santee, I could see the Mission Gorge hill in the distance winding up between the mountains… It’s a fairly tough climb for someone over 200 lbs (like me!) - about 7-8% grade a mile or so long - and the LAST thing I should be even be thinking about is climbing it on a day like today…

“No way you should take on the Mission Gorge hill today Jim! You don’t have to prove anything to anyone…”

“But I NEED to climb that hill TODAY… I need to know that this damn illness will never keep me off my bike again…”

Thus, I once again found myself taking on a tough climb when it didn’t make much sense to do so. Sure enough the going was tough - but workable. That for me, was a breakthrough…

“Oh Lord, I’m not asking for the easy way… just some way through it all. If it means I have to struggle through days like today, then so be it. But at least this is workable, and I’m grateful for that… Let me never take this for granted. There are so many in this world who could never even come close to climbing this hill even on their best days…”

After cresting the hill I had a joyous and fast descent down the other side…

“Way to go buddy! Just hang in there Jimbo… we’re going to beat this thing…”

I put in a few miles on the flatlands before turning around to go back home. Soon I was again approaching the Mission Gorge hill, but from the backside this time. The easy way would be to make a left turn and go around it, but I guess I needed to climb that hill one more time. But halfway up, I wondered if I hadn’t pushed myself a little too far. I was slowing down and running out of steam. But suddenly, I saw a big black hornet flying towards me! He then turned as if he was going to land on me! I looked at my sunflower-yellow jersey and thought “Oh crap!” Instantly, I had all the energy I needed and pedalled like a madman to outrun that hornet. I got to the top of the hill in no time!

“Thank You, Lord… Guess I needed a little boost…”

After I got home and showered I sat back down on the couch to assess how I felt. Yep! I still felt like crud physically, but emotionally and even spiritually I felt revived… I guess 2 out of 3 ain’t bad…

I hope my little adventure helps you overcome those days when you just don’t feel like working out… To realize that somedays the most important benefit of working out is not necessarily physical…

BTW – My ride was 20 miles with 1500 ft. of climbing… not bad for an ‘off’ day…

2

thanks for sharing this, I will think of this story many times I am sure. Stay strong kiddo!

3

"I hope my little adventure helps you overcome those days when you just don’t feel like working out… To realize that somedays the most important benefit of working out is not necessarily physical… "

It does, and thank you very much. I hope you feel better soon.

4

Thanks for sharing–truly inspirational. My thoughts and prayers are with you for a speedy recovery. Keep on riding!

5

you talk about pituitary failure, are both the anterior and posterior parts not working? Just curious, but do you take some sort of vasopressin hormone, or does your condition give you a central diabetes insipidius? you say you feel hungover, is it dehydration?

6

My condition is complete pituitary failure but I don’t have diabetes or take vasopressin. I take Synthroid (thyroid), Cortef (cortisol), Androgel (Testosterone) and growth hormone shots because my body no longer produces those hormones.

No, it’s not dehydration. I suspect it may be sleep-apnea related. I have severe sleep apnea or at least I did when I was at my heaviest last year (330 lbs). I use a CPAP machine at night to keep the airways open but it may be that I don’t need it now that I’m down to 207 lbs. It’s possible that the machine is trying to force more air than is needed and that could cause fatigue due to disturbed sleep. I’m going to follow up on that aspect…

It’s just that between the constantly changing hormone levels due to my rapid weight loss combined with the sleep apnea, asthma and allergy issues, it all just gets a bit overwhelming sometimes… but as long as I can keep riding, I can deal with it!

7

Thanks Tom!

I used to keep these little battles to myself… But I’m realizing more and more that not only does it help me to share them but it often provides inspiration to others and thus gives me a feeling that fighting this fight serves a bigger purpose than just getting through the day…

BTW – I love your shop’s website. I check it frequently. Kind of like a Christmas catalog to me!

8

Just wanted to add that I felt that riding today when I felt so crappy would also provide some valuable info that might help me or my doctors to figure out what was going on…

  • If there was an infection or dehydration then I would have had an elevated heart rate.
  • If there was a virus or bug, my heart rate would have been elevated and my performance on the climbs would have been much worse than normal.
  • If there was significant generalized fatigue the average heart rate would have been higher than normal.

Tonight I compared my heart rate chart from today’s ride to the chart from same ride a couple of weeks ago. Average heart rate was similar but speed was somewhat slower. However, on the climbs the speed was about the same and the heart rates were lower.

I have had that same sick hungover feeling before during hormonal imbalances. And since my dosages were recently adjusted, maybe it’s just putting my body into a minor tailspin. A guy with PMS! Imagine that! (Yuk! Yuk!) That might also explain the highly emotional aspect…

Thanks again for listening… Just writing this stuff down seems to help me get a better idea of what might be going on.

9

Just saw this thread. Thanks for sharing—it’s these kinds of stories that make most things we deal with on a day to day basis pretty much very, very ordinary by comparison. Hats off to you for pushing through when many others might have thrown in the towel. Very cool.

10

Great story. Hope you find what is bothering you. If you want to go to a really good diagnostic place, drive up to Santa Barbara

http://www.sansum.com/

This place has found stuff with me, my wife and in-laws that the regular docs could not. They start you with an internist who does a good physical and history, and from there he sends you to all the specialists and labs right in house. Results usually by the next day. Can’t speak more highly about them.

Blessings.

11

Thanks Tim. Actually, I do know what my main illness issue is - pituitary failure. I just have little episodes occasionaly where I wonder if it’s because of the underlying illness or if something else is going on.

And I’ll be heading up that way soon to go the UCLA Pituitary disorders clinic. My guess is they’ll find out what all is going on.

BTW – I’ve been struggling with the pituitary disorder since 1996 and entered a prior post telling about my recent comeback.

12

Jim,

Of all the things we struggle after (money, sex, toys, love) our health is often just taken for granted.

I admire your will, grit and determination. I also wish you nothing but success in this recent battle to maintain your progress. Thank you for sharing your story.

13

Not that it compares but I felt the same way on our first group ride after hurricane Ivan blew part of the roof off of my house. THis area looked like a war zone. Most people were in shock for weeks. Three weeks post Ivan, we finally got our group together for a ride. For most of us, it was our first ride after the hurricane. It was impossible to ride before this as there was no electricity or runnig water and many roads were closed with downed power lines and debris. It really helped restore a sense of normalcy. Nobody hammered or worried about pace. It was just nice to be on the bike again. A nice bike ride can really help to sort things out sometimes. Thanks for the post. Hope everything works out.

Mike