I’ll start. I have so many. Quite a few come to mind.
First was almost getting arrested for snapping one off while on a run. Early morning and had a cop shine his light on me while I was in the most precarious of positions.
I have had quite a few close calls trying to get my bibs off.
While racing in Kona in '10 I saw a girl on the run duck behind a bush off the side of the Quuen K and fire one of on the side of the road.
I’ll start. I have so many. Quite a few come to mind.
First was almost getting arrested for snapping one off while on a run. Early morning and had a cop shine his light on me while I was in the most precarious of positions.
I have had quite a few close calls trying to get my bibs off.
While racing in Kona in '10 I saw a girl on the run duck behind a bush off the side of the Quuen K and fire one of on the side of the road.
I see what you did there…
I’ll start. I have so many. Quite a few come to mind.
First was almost getting arrested for snapping one off while on a run. Early morning and had a cop shine his light on me while I was in the most precarious of positions.
I have had quite a few close calls trying to get my bibs off.
While racing in Kona in '10 I saw a girl on the run duck behind a bush off the side of the Quuen K and fire one of on the side of the road.
You and I have very different definitions of what “snapping one off” means.
Until I learned almond/peanut butter is not my friend prior to a run…
Must have been late fall as there was snow on the ground. I was a few miles away from home and realized I wasn’t going to make it. The park replaced its port-a-potties with real bathrooms which is great, except they have had vandalism so they lock the bathrooms on off hours. It must have been an off hour. I tried both doors and sure enough - locked. In squat position leaning against the outside bathroom wall an ugly malformed pile was released.
Other than that most of my other adventures were avoiding pooing at the end of a run, but worrying that I accidentally sharted and not being brave enough to look until I arrived at my home toilet.
Pooped in someone’s front yard under the most dire circumstances once. Probably 8 years later I was riding my bike to work and a car pulling out of that same house cut me off and yelled a typical insult. I don’t know if it was the same person or not, but I went back a few nights later and pooped in the front yard again.
You and I have very different definitions of what “snapping one off” means.
+1
.
HAHAHAHAHAA!!!
Pooped in someone’s front yard under the most dire circumstances once. Probably 8 years later I was riding my bike to work and a car pulling out of that same house cut me off and yelled a typical insult. I don’t know if it was the same person or not, but I went back a few nights later and pooped in the front yard again.
Pooped in someone’s front yard under the most dire circumstances once. Probably 8 years later I was riding my bike to work and a car pulling out of that same house cut me off and yelled a typical insult. I don’t know if it was the same person or not, but I went back a few nights later and pooped in the front yard again.
That is the definition of funny shit.
Not a poop story. But I was riding with my 5 year old at the park the other day when she really had to pee. Bathrooms were locked, and there was no time to load up bikes and get in the car to go somewhere else. So I had her go in the bushes. She was extremely nervous and whiny about it at first. But when she finsihed, she shouted, “That was fun!” And for the rest of the ride, she kept asking if she could pee in the bushes again.
During an OWS in the Atlantic I had got hit with some stomach rumblings. The only thing could do was undo my tri shorts and turn stomach facing down. And “float one” and swim away
Anybody brave enough to share a story were they didn’t make it??
During an OWS in the Atlantic I had got hit with some stomach rumblings. The only thing could do was undo my tri shorts and turn stomach facing down. And “float one” and swim away
Anybody brave enough to share a story were they didn’t make it??
This is where we inevitably see the IMFL guy… right?
During an OWS in the Atlantic I had got hit with some stomach rumblings. The only thing could do was undo my tri shorts and turn stomach facing down. And “float one” and swim away
Anybody brave enough to share a story were they didn’t make it??
This is where we inevitably see the IMFL guy… right?
I was blessed to see him as he passed me in the state park. I was then unfortunate enough to smell him as he ran away.
For a brief second I remember thinking…“wow, what did that guy fall in??” “Why doesn’t he wash it…OHHHHHHHHH LAWD!”
A friend of mine and I were jetskiing once and he jumped into the water to pinch a loaf. Suddenly he starts yelling, “oh no, it’s a floater!”. The turd had floated up between his back and his flotation vest and was trapped in there. He had a turd smear on the back of his tshirt all day.
Anybody brave enough to share a story were they didn’t make it??
Not training for anything, but the wife and I were walking the Mackinac Bridge over Labor Day one year.
Drank a bit too much coffee and at about the 1/2 way point, the rumbling began. I picked up the pace a little, but with a longer stride, the clenching effort was reduced.
Made it off the bridge OK, but the line for the port-a-johns was where trouble finally set in.
When i finally made it into the portie, it had to sound like i was doing jumping jacks.
15 minutes later i emerge, glowing, commando, convinced that nobody had any clue what transpired.
Ah Blissful Ignorance
During an OWS in the Atlantic I had got hit with some stomach rumblings. The only thing could do was undo my tri shorts and turn stomach facing down. And “float one” and swim away
Stomach down (and thus arse up)? Were you trying to launch it?
A friend of mine and I were jetskiing once and he jumped into the water to pinch a loaf. Suddenly he starts yelling, “oh no, it’s a floater!”. The turd had floated up between his back and his flotation vest and was trapped in there. He had a turd smear on the back of his tshirt all day.
That is one of the funniest damn things I have heard
I was about 11 and playing baseball at a neighbors house (country neighbor 3 miles down the road). I had to take a dump and I just took off on my bike to get home (who knows why I didn’t do it at the house I was at). Got to the front door as I felt the issues grow very urgent. I screamed and knocked on the door thinking it was locked. After the issue passed and became a new issue outside of my body yet still touching my body I realized the door was unlocked. That day I decided that it’s ok to bath in all your clothes because taking them off would be really gross. Thinking back that is really gross because we didn’t have a shower just a tub…Those darn city folks and their showers.
I did your mom in her pooper.
Sean
Great thread for a Friday afternoon!
Freshman in HS (14 at the time?) doing a night time speed workout with a buddy and his older brother (who drove us) and still not experienced with runners gut. I started getting the “urge”, but ignored it for a lap or two. Finally got so bad, I sprinted towards some trees nearby but released before I could pull the pants down and squat. Ditched the underpants and wiped my leg/pants off best I could and had a very embarrassed, smelly car ride home soon thereafter.
I guess this is one of my “dirty secrets” as well - to my knowledge, my friend was a perfect saint and no one ever found out about the incident. I say this because if he had told someone, this is not something that would have stayed quiet in HS!
Another memorable one - doing the Cooper River Bridge Run with some friends when things started going south on the bridge with about 30,000 other people around me. Was able to walk/clench my way to the other side and find a Church’s Chicken open about 1/4 mile past the bridge. Friends still rag on me about my fondness for Church’s Chicken 
running story…
Running through the ghetto in Shreveport LA. Just a week prior there was a murder in the neighborhood. (I lived near by… lay off… struggling college kid. )
About a mile prior I was in some serious discomfort and was still roughly 2 miles from home. It finally got to a point where I could feel the turtle head popping out and I wasn’t going to make it. I darted into the alley and prayed that nobody was outside. With no bushes in site I curled up next to the graffitied fence and let loose a giant.
This was literally a “scared shitless” experience.