How the heck do you get through this? It is killing me today. I have to pick a day soon to take her in and have this done, the vet wanted to do it last night, but selfishly I took her home so my sons could say goodbye to her. Just not sure how to get get over it…
I think you have to consider the dog. We lost our mutt last year when my wife took her in for a check-up, because she’d been acting lethargic and strange for a few weeeks. She was diagnosed with leukemia and other cancers, and was clearly in a lot of pain (although she hid it well). I was home with the twins, and didn’t get to say goodbye, but my wife made the decision to do it then and there for the sake of the dog. This was my wife’s dog. She had her when we met, and Sadie was always “mommy’s little girl.” But she and I had developed quite a bond in the time after I joined the family. I was sad I didn’t get to say goodbye to her and my wife was distraught for days, but it was the best way to do it. Sadie had lived a full and wonderful life. She touched our family in ways that non-dog lovers can never know. She deserved a dignified exit and to be spared any further suffering. We still miss her (actually, I said this to my wife just the other day), and it’s been almost a year.
You’ve said goodbye. Be with her as she goes. And take comfort in knowing that she’s no longer suffering.
Crap, I always tell myself not to open these threads, and I always do anyway…
No advice. Just know that we understand your pain. Pets are family, no matter what anyone says.
Remember all the great times and that you are doing this for her. It may hurt you now, but it is the best thing to do for her.
I feel your pain and brings back painfull memories of my own, but that doesn’t last long. I had the best kitty ever. 
I had to do that on Dec 18, 2008. My choco lab I had since he was 8 weeks old. He was 12. Great dog. one day, he just stopped eating, got very weak. I probably waited to long to do it. Finally the wife talked me into it. I refused to be in the room when the vet did his business, but in the end, I was there thru the whole thing. The tough part was trying to explain it to my 5 y/o son. Those two were best buddies. For a couple weeks after, as soon as he would get home from school, he would yell out the dogs name. Every once in awhile, he will tell me that he misses his dog…
Good luck and best wishes!
I feel you pain. I couldn’t do it for longer than I should have because I didn’t want to say goodbye. Have everybody say goodbye and do it knowing that you are saving her the suffering. It still sucks.
Well, unfortunately we have had to do this twice in the past 3 years as our 14 & 16 year old Shelties were nearing death. My recommendation is to do as you have done, take them home, love them, say good bye, and then take them in on Friday morning if possible (if you can take off Friday afternoon from work, etc.) This gives you an entire weekend to mourn prior to getting back into your schedule.
FWIW, last May when our “girl” finally passed at age 16.5, I think the girlfriend ended up taking 4 days off work (and that was including the prior weekend), went to work for part of a day, then had another weekend. It was VERY tough on her, but after a little over a month, she had the NEED to have a dog in her life - so we ended up signing on to get a pup (which we got in late August) - and then adopted a 10 year old from rescue (which has been a blessing).
Good luck, hang in there, and know that the pain does subside. You’ll always have those great memories (and perhaps some of the not so great memories - that many actually turn funny when you think back about them, like when ours chewed up a bunch of books on the bookshelf and were caught laying on the ground with paper between their paws…and the guilty looks on their faces
It’s hard. We had to do this last year, fittingly enough considering this forum on Ironman Hawaii Race day. One of the hardest and most emotional things I have ever had to do in my life. It was hard for me because I was not there and I was so far away. My ex-wife was looking after Max, at the time(we shared looking after Max since our Divorce). We knew the day was coming, and you are never sure when it will come. I sat on the side of the road on the Ironman Hawaii bike course all alone and wept. After that I had to hold it all in, for the rest of the day until after MissP finished and then I broke down again and we both had a good cry.
He’s gone now, of course and we miss him, but have moved on. We have dog-sat a few times for friends and we have concluded that we will get another dog. We have put ourselves on a local Lab Rescue waiting list.
I’m sorry.
You hold her, you console her, you cry…
You can get through it, but it will hurt a lot.
My thoughts are with you.
Regards,
Puskas
I believe that people that care for and love animals have a special calling. It is not something we choose to do. Many times we would rather not do it. But then an animal in need enters our lives and we step up and care for that animal. Its just what we do. Through the good and the bad, we love our friends and do our best to give them long happy lives. Then when it comes time, we help them move on. We do it with compassion and love. Is it easy, no. Its probably one of the hardest thing any of us are ever called to do. But deep down in our hearts, we know its our responsiblity. So we take our friend in and put an end to their suffering. We cry knowing that we have lost our friend, but also realize that through our pain, we have taken their pain away. Its our final act of love that we give to our friend. In time, our heart mends. For many of us, we soon realize that although our heart has healed, its still feels empty. It is then that we fill it with the love we receive from our new friend.
I have been through this too many times. I have said goodbye to many friends. In every instance that I had the option, I held my friend while the vet did his duties. I felt is was my duty to take away as much fear as possible. Then I cried like a little girl. Just writing this has me tearing up. What really sucks is that I have 7 more friends at home. One of which I will have to help along within the next year or two. However, deep in my heart I know that the sheer joy I have received from sharing their lives so outweighs the pain I will feel when I say goodbye.
There are times I wish that I wasn’t called to do this. But then I remember the joy. It makes it all worthwhile.
I hope this helps you through your pain just alittle.
Locke
In addition to what everyone has said I recommend that you ask the vet to come to your house and have it done there. In the alternative, drive to the vet but leave your dog in the car and ask the vet to put her down in the car.
Best wishes.
How the heck do you get through this? It is killing me today. I have to pick a day soon to take her in and have this done, the vet wanted to do it last night, but selfishly I took her home so my sons could say goodbye to her. Just not sure how to get get over it…
We had to put our Boxer down in February. Words cannot explain it. Sometimes I think we get one dog we have that special connection and my Bowman was mine. It is horrible and I am so very sorry.
You get through it by crying then healing. I know your pain. As Locke said, we are called to it. It is incredible hard to let them go but we are so lucky to have them in our lives. Be with your pooch when the times comes, you will be suprised at how much peace it brings you to know you were with him until the end.
Dagnabbit, now I’m crying. I wish it was easy to let a friend go but it just isn’t. I don’t know any animal lovers that get through this without a lot of heartache and tears.
My dog was just diagnosed with cancer. So far he seems to be feeling good with meds but since he is ~12 the time will come soon. I also have a cat that is quite ill and we aren’t 100% sure it isn’t cancer. Convoluted story and not important. Right now we are waiting to see if he will be able to recover. Even knowing all of this, and trying to prepare, there is no way I’ll be able to handle this. All I know is that it is worth all the tears.
My thoughts are with you.
“We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare, and love we can spare. In return, dogs give us their all. It’s the best deal man has ever made”
-Margery Facklam
Sorry about your situation.
Aaaagh, you must be feeling horribly. I am just thinking about it and we’ve had to put down a couple of animals over my lifetime. remember that the dog is probably not suffering the emotional angst that you are, it is in pain and will not know what has happened. “putting dog down” sounds horrible doesn’t it? How about “releasing the dog from pain” as another way of looking at it…FWIW my Mum grieved for a number of weeks after each animal she has had to put down and swore she would never get another pet each time (3 dogs, 1 cat, 1 rabbit)…but 3 weeks later she would just “happen” to feel like touring the local animal shelter…and she would fall in love with an animal and realise could still do it again…the last pet would then become a very fond memory.
…it’s just hard because it’s not fun outliving a “family member” - be better if dogs lived for a little longer wouldn’t it??
We put our 12 year old Lab down a month ago, and my wife still cries just about every day. Daisy was suffering from cancer and a really bad hip and I just felt it was time. A lab retriever forum that I frequent has a forum for times like this and someone there asked the pet owner with the same questions as the OP" are you still making good memories with your dog or just living in the past?". Dogs have an amazing tolerance for pain but I could tell that life just wasn’t fun for her anymore. If you plan to bury your pet at home see if you can have the vet come to your house and have your loved one’s final moments on his/her favorite couch or blanket. That’s what I would have done differently. We buried Daisy in the flower garden and my wife talks to her frequently. I’m a dog guy and the house is too empty with my sons AND the dog gone so we put a deposit on a 2 week old lab pup last week. She comes home in 4 weeks and her name is Chloe. My heart goes out to you and your pet.
You’ve gotten some good advice. We had to put down our dog in January. Other than the day my dad died, it was the worst ever. We talked a lot about preserving his dignity, but I think we might have let him suffer too long, to be honest. God it sucked.
Do consider having the vet come to your house, especially if your dog, like mine, did not care for the vet’s office, At all.
Things will get better. There’s gonna be a big hole in your life, but it’ll ultimately heal.
She comes home in 4 weeks and her name is Chloe.
What’s better than one lab? Two. Perhaps you could find a buddy for Chloe from the local lab rescue organization.
Shelley,
I am nine months out from losing my two Golden Retrievers and your thread still brought back tears. The tears are happy ones, thinking about how much my dogs added to my life, not how they are missing from it. I buried them at home and still stand in the garden at times imagining them laying in the grass or running to greet me. It is hard but time helps, and a new dog does as well, when you are ready. It is hard to not have a tail wagging and a tongue hanging in your general direction when at home!
Hang in there and remember the good times.
To answer your question - I did it with many, many tears in my eyes. My wife had never seen me cry so much and so hard. I knew it was best for her even though I selfishly wanted as much more time with her as I could have. She was in too much pain (while she still looked happy - I think this was the hardest part) and she lost control of bodily functions and I could see the embarrassement in her face every time it happend. I just had to let go and think of her.
We are lucky that in our area we have a vet that will come to your house. We live on 6 acres and baried her in a spot we used to do a lot of walks to.
My dearest sympathies for you and your family.