As my kids are solidly in the teen years the thought of them never leaving the house leaves me shuddering, especially in 1500 sqf. Another thing that has me shuddering is the thought of paying for their phone bills indefinitely… I just worked with a colleague in his early 30’s at a major us airline (pilot). When I inquired about his cell phone carrier he sheepishly replied he is still on his parents family plan…
WTF!
The plans handcuff you into multiple lines. Tomorrow I am switching everyone to Visible by Verion. $25 out the door per month. Premium data is the biggest hoax out there and after a multitude of speed tests while trialing visible against T-Mobile “premium” its completely unnecessary. (doesn’t work half the time)
If both dear daughters are mature enough to have a smartphone (8th and 10th grade) then dear daughters will have to manage their payments. I will be transferring them $25 bucks to pay for their plan. It’s on them to get it done through their Capital One Money Teen checking. (BTW a great product as under 16 debit cards are tricky… BOA has a good setup but they need to be 16)
The tendency to infantilize does seem to reach further into adulthood than it used to.
My parents handled the major stuff until I started college. After that, it was largely on me. I could ask for a consult, but it was my job to handle stuff.
I remember injuring myself playing sports as a 20 year old. I told my dad I thought I might have broken some bones. He said, “I’ve been there. What are you going to do about it?” I told him I didn’t even have a primary care doc since I moved out of the house. He said, “I’ve been there. What are you going to do about it?”
At the time, I had basic health care coverage through my university that was paid for as an add-on to the tuition package, but there was zero parental help in figuring out how to navigate that whole quagmire. Cell phones weren’t really a prevalent thing yet at that time, but if they had been, I know that I would have had zero assistance with it, financial or otherwise.
Flip side - my wife has had my FIL on her cell phone plan for years. It’s cheaper, and her dad is hard of hearing, so talking with service reps to figure out the best plan is difficult for him. But…he’s still a grown-ass man with his kid organizing and paying for his phone service.
As my kids are solidly in the teen years the thought of them never leaving the house leaves me shuddering, especially in 1500 sqf. Another thing that has me shuddering is the thought of paying for their phone bills indefinitely… I just worked with a colleague in his early 30’s at a major us airline (pilot). When I inquired about his cell phone carrier he sheepishly replied he is still on his parents family plan…
I am a relatively successful guy in my 40s, my wife and I are still on my parents plan. For a while I was on an unlimited plan with my wife for like $150 a month, a 4 line unlimited plan was around $200 a month. It made no sense to stay on our own plan. I had offered to have my parents transfer to our line. At the end of the day it made sense financially to switch. When my kids become of cell phone age, I am sure I will get my own family plan and my mother will just be our 5th line. My brother and his wife are on his inlaws plan.
I think its more of a way the plans are set up/how people feel about sharing services. My mom is on my netflix account because it makes sense to pay 30 bucks for premium plus (or whatever it is called) vs. 2 of us pay 20 a month.
I wouldnt pay for things like car insurance or an engagement ring.
As my kids are solidly in the teen years the thought of them never leaving the house leaves me shuddering, especially in 1500 sqf. Another thing that has me shuddering is the thought of paying for their phone bills indefinitely… I just worked with a colleague in his early 30’s at a major us airline (pilot). When I inquired about his cell phone carrier he sheepishly replied he is still on his parents family plan…
I am a relatively successful guy in my 40s, my wife and I are still on my parents plan. For a while I was on an unlimited plan with my wife for like $150 a month, a 4 line unlimited plan was around $200 a month. It made no sense to stay on our own plan. I had offered to have my parents transfer to our line. At the end of the day it made sense financially to switch. When my kids become of cell phone age, I am sure I will get my own family plan and my mother will just be our 5th line. My brother and his wife are on his inlaws plan.
I think its more of a way the plans are set up/how people feel about sharing services. My mom is on my netflix account because it makes sense to pay 30 bucks for premium plus (or whatever it is called) vs. 2 of us pay 20 a month.
I wouldnt pay for things like car insurance or an engagement ring.
I was fortunate that my parents covered my costs in college. However, the way it went was that once I graduated high school I had to give my parents a budget for the upcoming school year. I had to estimate my costs for tuition, room and board and other essentials. That budget had to be approved and anything frivolous was tossed out as I would pay for that out of my savings from my high school and summer jobs. Then I would get one check for the year. Deposited the check into my bank account and all my expenses were paid by me. The last time I got money from my parents was the summer before my senior year in college.
I had to pay for my own college - undergrad and grad. My mother did pay for my second -r-nm-n after I dnf’ed the first one.
TT: Thanks for the tip on Capital One Money Teen checking. I think this would be good for my little dude (9). He’s already very good about saving most of his allowance and gift money, but he’s a math dude and learning to budget early would be great.
We also use the Capital One Money Teen checking. It doesn’t have all the bells and whistles as some of the other “kids” accounts, but those all have some sort of fees attached.
After highschool I was more or less on my own, with the exception of remaining on my parents extended health benefits for a few years in college, for things like dental work. Cell phone, living expenses, education etc were all me.
Mind you, it was easier to do that. Rent was manageable and it was pretty easy to get a job, or find a doctor and education was fairly cheap.
My kids are very young but I would imagine I would be happy to remain a family unit and help them out with certain things. They can live at home, but will have to pitch in and cover their expenses. No way I’m paying for a kid’s cell phone bill or Netflix account. If you want those things, you’re more than welcome to go out and make the money required to earn them.
We also use the Capital One Money Teen checking. It doesn’t have all the bells and whistles as some of the other “kids” accounts, but those all have some sort of fees attached.
Will add to this that if you have USAA they also have a fantastic free teen/youth checking/savings account program. Parents linked to accounts, use of app, can lock the savings or checking as you wish, lots of options (so kid can’t poach their savings on the fly, that type of thing).
Once I left home after the end of highschool I paid for and organized everything. But it was doable then. I went to undergrad in Quebec tuition was 650 dollars a year. Between summer jobs and scholarships I didn’t accumulate any debt in undergrad.
Medical school tuition was 2400 dollars a year back in the late 80s.
Now it is 25000 a year. Rent in a major city is crazy expensive.
I paid for my son’s education in engineering. After he got his degree he transitioned to paying for everything quite seamlessly.
Still paying for the daughter but she doesn’t waste money. Not sure why my kids are responsible. Maybe they see we don’t waste money.
When I inquired about his cell phone carrier he sheepishly replied he is still on his parents family plan…
I don’t understand your concern about financially sound practices. We invited her parents to be on our cell phone plan. They allowed us up to 4 lines. The MIL transfers us some cash every month. All of us have a lower bill. Why do you hate effective capitalism?
I was out of the house by summer before my senior year of high school. My mother and sister moved to Canada shortly after. So I have a skewed view of adults living as dependents and have little sympathy for people who can’t figure it out on their own.
And now that I’m a parent with two kids and three step kids I think it’s inevitable that I’ll be footing a bill I never anticipated paying.
As my kids are solidly in the teen years the thought of them never leaving the house leaves me shuddering, especially in 1500 sqf. Another thing that has me shuddering is the thought of paying for their phone bills indefinitely… I just worked with a colleague in his early 30’s at a major us airline (pilot). When I inquired about his cell phone carrier he sheepishly replied he is still on his parents family plan…
I am a relatively successful guy in my 40s, my wife and I are still on my parents plan. For a while I was on an unlimited plan with my wife for like $150 a month, a 4 line unlimited plan was around $200 a month. It made no sense to stay on our own plan. I had offered to have my parents transfer to our line. At the end of the day it made sense financially to switch. When my kids become of cell phone age, I am sure I will get my own family plan and my mother will just be our 5th line. My brother and his wife are on his inlaws plan.
I think its more of a way the plans are set up/how people feel about sharing services. My mom is on my netflix account because it makes sense to pay 30 bucks for premium plus (or whatever it is called) vs. 2 of us pay 20 a month.
I wouldnt pay for things like car insurance or an engagement ring.
Says the guy on his parents cell phone plan at age 40…BWAhhh…Maybe you get that family plan for yourself by the time you are 50. Is your mom paying your car payments and health care plan as well. HA!!!
If you have the money to help your kids out, I see no harm in it. If you don’t and it hurts you financially, then don’t do it.
Costs and expenses are so much more today than they were when we grew up. My dad paid for undergrad and graduate school and all in was about 90K for seven years of college. I just paid 132K for one degree and paying for two more right now for my kids. I was not going to saddle them with debt due to the fact as soon as they get out, they will need to pay for a 2500 a month apartment or worse, try to figure out how to buy a 500K house.
This is not the 90’s or 2000’s, thanks to inflation, costs of living ( food) and housing, healthcare etc most of our kids will need a little help to have even an average standard of living.
When I inquired about his cell phone carrier he sheepishly replied he is still on his parents family plan…
I don’t understand your concern about financially sound practices. We invited her parents to be on our cell phone plan. They allowed us up to 4 lines. The MIL transfers us some cash every month. All of us have a lower bill. Why do you hate effective capitalism?
Consolidating expenses seems sensible to me. It’s one thing if an adult is on their parents’ plan and not paying. That’s like having your mom still doing your laundry. But if the parents have an existing affordable cell plan and it’s easier/cheaper to stay on it and pay your share than to establish a new plan or go it alone, I don’t see any particular problem with that.
This post has elicited a lot of interesting responses in a lot of different directions. Although a rant, one of my underlying things that I keep telling my children is that “everyone must live their own lifeâ€. Less often do I mention “you must live within your means†but I will start using that shortly as they start to work summer jobs etc.
Throughout my time on this forum and in real life I have observed a lot of conflict. And I find a large source of that conflict is from not allowing people to live “their own life†From the feeble old man who wants to die in his own house to the young family who’s parents still interfere, to the parents who offer money with the caveat of control, to the drug addict who can’t be helped.
When I take a look around I still see plenty of opportunity to be successful. And i still believe it’s possible on your own for the most part. That’s the message I hope to get through to my kids.
For those of you on the “saving money†excuse to be on a group cell plan… you are being fleeced, as I also was for the past few years. When you don’t manage individual devices and match the plan to the needs you end up paying more. So I am winning twice over here. Setting my kids up to hopefully live their own life while cutting waste in telecom expenses.
I am curious as to how many of you give your kids allowance (and how much).
Growing up I never had allowance (but I did have jobs - reffing 3-6 hours a weekend, since I was around 10), chore chart, paid for grades, etc… My parents paid for everything and often asked us if we wanted an allowance in exchange for our setup. We were expected to do chores, good grades, etc.
Similar setup with my kids now. I know some of my kids friends get $10 or so a week.
13 year old receives $12 a week. 15 year old lost allowance last year in a disciplinary hearing with my wife. She has the option of working at Publix over the summer if she wants some extra cash. 11 year just started receiving $10 dollars but is required to put $3 into a clear plastic piggy bank that will be broken open to pay for a smart phone when she starts 8th grade
