I have two weddings that I need to give speeches at in the next 5 weeks. The first, my best friend from childhood and my sister is this coming weekend. The second is my brother and some floozie (just kidding, she’s a darling woman) in early March. Anyhow, I’ve searched online and sifted through the mumbo-jumbo and found some tips and examples but they seem so dull. I know there are some great writers on ST so I figure there are some great speeches out there. If you wouldn’t mind PM’ing or emailing me I’d really appreciate it. I feel like I’m in high school staring at the blinking cursor on a basically blank page. Thanks!
Gave my first last year for my sister.
Remember, it’s not a roast (which can really backfire).
For inspiration watch “Wedding Crashers.”
From the heart.
Do what I do - never go to weddings.
I like that, its a toast not a roast. I shared a crappy condo with the groom and the walls were paper thin. I was thinking of somehow working in something about how it sounded like he was hurting her, or that I never knew my sister was a screamer but Grandma probably wont appreciate it. Also, she was married before for a brief time but I don’t think that should work its way into the toast.
Let me clarify, I have most of the body worked out, its the story of how they met and their first date. I really need help with the intro and the conclusion but am willing to tweak and modify the body if necessary.
Chip - I’d love to ditch this wedding, its the same day as a local adventure race which me and my teammate won the local division last year but have to go to the wedding.
“to our wives, and our sweethearts…may they never meet!”
If you leave a good enough gap, you may hear some “arrrrrs” from the crowd as they think you are so sweet, then nail them with the end…count the seconds to the first laugh!
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google some standard speeches. Modify for your event.
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Keep it extremely brief. It’s harder for people to hear what you have to say, than for you to say it.
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It’s all about the toast.
Advice: Keep it under 90 secs, find an easy story to tell about them with a happy oooooohhhh ending, then raise your glass and wish them a happy life together. Keep in mind, people dont expect much from a wedding toast and if you try and be Dane Cook up there, you will bomb! Speak from the heart and have a drink or two before if you are nervous (but not more than 2). Good luck!
Are you married? Does everyone in your family know you’re an endurance athlete / adventure racing nut? Tie the two together:
- I don't know much about marriage, but I do know a little about adventure racing. From what I've observed from my married friends, marriage and adventure racing are pretty similar. Rewards come from working as a team to overcome adversity.
- throw in some crap about achieving endorphine nirvanna when hot, sweaty, steaming and pushing past all known boundaries of common sense; finding contentment in getting dirty, really, really dirty and staying up through the night, going hard, doing things you never imagined yourself doing; and, in marriage, like endurance racing, eventually everyone’s going to get wet.
Or, something about seeing alot of beautiful things, overcomming obstacles, pushing through pain, being variably miserable and ecstatic and, ultimately, the joy and adventure being in the journey. People who are unsuccessful at mariage are a lot like people who are unsuccessful in endurance sports, they’re too focused on results and don’t take the time to enjoy the journey.
Whatever you do, keep it at three to five minutes. Anything longer gaurantees failure.
Not to be obvious, and I know you said you’ve looked online, but did you google ‘wedding speeches’ & ‘wedding toasts’ etc? There are a couple of dedicated websites and, while you’ll wade through a ton of elephant s**t, you may find some interesting or stimulating ideas that you can personalize. May want to google ‘epithalamion’ - both Spenser and ee cummings have written interesting epithalamia, albeit one may be more approachable than the other. Best of luck.
Don’t use a prewritten speech; its unpersonal and everyone can tell its someone else’s speech.
The trick to a great toast is to roast then toast. Tell a funny story, get the room laughing, then somehow turn it around to be a bit sentimental so that by the time you toast there isn’t a dry eye in the room. Roast then toast.
The opposite is true for a roast: toast then roast. At a roast, tell a sentimental story first, but then turn it around as you cut into the person. But you aren’t roasting, you’re toasting, so like I said before, roast then toast.