Too harsh? Mean spirited? Pure bulls___t? Too wordy?
Bring out the editing knives
Context is a magazine article called “Top Pet Peeves of Triathletes”
Examining bike racks at many triathlons may lead you to believe there’s an inverse relationship between race distance and amount of equipment required. This premise is confirmed when you go to a sprint distance race, especially an early season event and bear witness to the “newbie†towel that plays host to a range of supplies more suited to a Livingston Expedition or trek up K2. Balloons, sunscreen, rain gear, towels, race number belt, clear goggles, tinted goggles, (even for pool swim races) running shoes, bear spray, there’s seemingly no scenario these first time competitors have not anticipated - all to complete a distance of 25.75 kilometres. Although this sounds hilarious, you won’t be laughing much if you have the misfortune to be racked next to the expeditionist and must navigate around all that crap after you exit the water. Some folks say you should hire a coach to design effective workouts for you and keep you accountable to your training plan, I say a coach earns his money when he prevents tragedies such as this.
That’s just newbie stuff that is expected at a sprint. I took time in T1 in my first triathlon to eat a gel. In my 2nd triathlon, I took a cooler into transition. I’ve since learned that minimal is better.
People cope with the stress of challenge or competition in different ways. “Kit” is widely recognized as one of them.
Ritual is another method. Ritual being the person who does strange warmup routines or things before competing. Rituals like doing a run warmup to the point you almost injure yourself or go vomit in the woods (I saw this happen at the local Cary duathlon).
Complete and total nonchalance is another. Pretend to yourself that the event doesn’t matter to you to cope. Don’t warmup well, or don’t get prepared. Then blame your results on your non-preparation.
Absolutely mean-spirited, IMO. Although not exclusively, sprints are the gateway to triathlon (and wider multisport) of all types. You need newbies coming in with their 5-gallon buckets and towels and rain gear and all the goggles to keep races alive.
If just one beginner reads this and decides that they’re not racing anymore because everyone is pointing and laughing at them behind their back, you’ve done the sport a disservice. There’s enough of that in transition already. (I’m a short, fat woman. Hostility abounds.)
This last weekend I volunteered at a triathlon called “My First Tri” that was exclusively for newbies. I have to say I was very impressed with what I saw in transition. NO balloons, NO 5 gallon buckets, NO coolers. Most people had a pretty minimal setup, which was probably helped that most had just their running shoes and flat pedals (not clipless or even clips). I actually don’t think I even saw any sunscreen, which for a race that should have been done by 9:30-10:00, is not necessary.
I’m thinking a lot of that stuff isn’t from newbies per-say. It’s probably from people who do a couple tris a year but don’t really get into it. So they’ve seen people sitting on buckets in T1 and think “Oh that looks nice.” They see the balloons and say “Oh that’s clever” and they bring more and more stuff.
But as an afterthought, that was such a cool race to volunteer at with all these people just grabbing the bike out of their garage and going for it. I saw a total of 3 clip-on aero bars, an actual Huffy, and one woman with a basket on the front of her bike where inside the basket was a sandwich! There was no ego there, nobody thought they were better than anybody else, and they all had fun. We need more events like this to really build the sport.
The only thing that bugs me are the 5 gallon buckets. Just get a damn bag for your stuff. Everyone has or can buy a bag. There’s no need to make transition a total cluster for the athletes around you by storing your crap in an oversized bucket next to your bike. Whoever came up with this idiotic idea needs a swift kick in the nuts.
As a former race official, I know that balloons are forbidden. You can’t add a visible marker.
When I worked newbie tris it was constant:
“Take out the headphones!” and they’d sneak them out on to the run and I’d have to tell them again or threaten DQ.
“You can’t rack your bike against the perimeter fencing”
“You can’t ride through transition”
“Your wetsuit/goggles/cap can’t be left on the beach/pooldeck”
“Clip pedals are not allowed. Seriously, who owns clip pedals these days?”
“Your friend/spouse/kids are not allowed in the transition area. No they cannot help you in any way”
The only thing that bugs me are the 5 gallon buckets. Just get a damn bag for your stuff. Everyone has or can buy a bag. There’s no need to make transition a total cluster for the athletes around you by storing your crap in an oversized bucket next to your bike. Whoever came up with this idiotic idea needs a swift kick in the nuts.
A 5 gallon bucket isn’t even 12" wide. Most of the beginner-oriented local Sprints I’ve been to have more than enough racking pitch for a bucket to fit comfortably in between bikes. And I’ve certainly seen plenty of veterans take more space than a bucket-width. I don’t use a bucket, but I do admit to a tinge of jealousy when I see them in transition. I sometimes wish I could turn off the competitive drive enough to say “IDGAF about my transition times, I’ma have something to sit on while I change into my shoes.”
Absolutely mean-spirited, IMO. Although not exclusively, sprints are the gateway to triathlon (and wider multisport) of all types. You need newbies coming in with their 5-gallon buckets and towels and rain gear and all the goggles to keep races alive.
If just one beginner reads this and decides that they’re not racing anymore because everyone is pointing and laughing at them behind their back, you’ve done the sport a disservice. There’s enough of that in transition already. (I’m a short, fat woman. Hostility abounds.)
Yes yes, we need to encourage the newbies and their buckets, after all, it was on their bucket list you know. Most of them will learn by observation and experience that they can do it with less stuff. And if your little world comes crashing down because of clutter near your all important transition area I’ll leave a partial quote from one of my all time favorite actors
Absolutely mean-spirited, IMO. Although not exclusively, sprints are the gateway to triathlon (and wider multisport) of all types. You need newbies coming in with their 5-gallon buckets and towels and rain gear and all the goggles to keep races alive.
If just one beginner reads this and decides that they’re not racing anymore because everyone is pointing and laughing at them behind their back, you’ve done the sport a disservice. There’s enough of that in transition already. (I’m a short, fat woman. Hostility abounds.)
Yes yes, we need to encourage the newbies and their buckets, after all, it was on their bucket list you know. Most of them will learn by observation and experience that they can do it with less stuff. And if your little world comes crashing down because of clutter near your all important transition area I’ll leave a partial quote from one of my all time favorite actors
“…you improvise, you overcome, you adapt!”
I think you’re agreeing with me, right? Because I don’t have any issues with gear in transition, just with asshole triathletes who think their portapotty emissions don’t stink.
My take → a local sprint is not the world championships…triathletes that have this pet peeve at a local sprint, need to get over themselves and appreciate where they are.
Absolutely mean-spirited, IMO. Although not exclusively, sprints are the gateway to triathlon (and wider multisport) of all types. You need newbies coming in with their 5-gallon buckets and towels and rain gear and all the goggles to keep races alive.
If just one beginner reads this and decides that they’re not racing anymore because everyone is pointing and laughing at them behind their back, you’ve done the sport a disservice. There’s enough of that in transition already. (I’m a short, fat woman. Hostility abounds.)
Yes yes, we need to encourage the newbies and their buckets, after all, it was on their bucket list you know. Most of them will learn by observation and experience that they can do it with less stuff. And if your little world comes crashing down because of clutter near your all important transition area I’ll leave a partial quote from one of my all time favorite actors
“…you improvise, you overcome, you adapt!”
I think you’re agreeing with me, right? Because I don’t have any issues with gear in transition, just with asshole triathletes who think their portapotty emissions don’t stink.
Absolutely mean-spirited, IMO. Although not exclusively, sprints are the gateway to triathlon (and wider multisport) of all types. You need newbies coming in with their 5-gallon buckets and towels and rain gear and all the goggles to keep races alive.
If just one beginner reads this and decides that they’re not racing anymore because everyone is pointing and laughing at them behind their back, you’ve done the sport a disservice. There’s enough of that in transition already. (I’m a short, fat woman. Hostility abounds.)
Yes yes, we need to encourage the newbies and their buckets, after all, it was on their bucket list you know. Most of them will learn by observation and experience that they can do it with less stuff. And if your little world comes crashing down because of clutter near your all important transition area I’ll leave a partial quote from one of my all time favorite actors
“…you improvise, you overcome, you adapt!”
This conversation got me thinking a bit as well. Do you think it would be wise for RDs to have a section of racks specifically for newbies with a couple “mentors” roaming the area to help them, answer questions, give pointers, etc? Then they don’t piss off the guy with the stick up his ass who makes them feel ashamed. They can start to build some of that camaraderie with other newbies and share that special kind of excitement. They can get some tips from more experienced folks, making sure they are not in too big a gear for example. And of course make it completely optional. But I can’t imagine how intimidated some people must feel racking their Walmart mountain bike next to a $10,000 rig. Something like that could help improve their overall experience and keep them in the sport.
Too harsh? Mean spirited? Pure bulls___t? Too wordy? Although this sounds hilarious, you won’t be laughing much if you have the misfortune to be racked next to the expeditionist and must navigate around all that crap after you exit the water.
Actually, no, it doesn’t sound hilarious. Why is this funny? Why laugh at people? You do your thing and let them do their thing.
Aren’t there like a whole lot of bikes and people to navigate around? Does you neighbor having a bigger than typical spread affect the entire transition that much?
I was intimidated by triathlons because I thought most triathletes were d!cks like this author. I was pleased to find out that’s not the case. It’s not, right?
This conversation got me thinking a bit as well. Do you think it would be wise for RDs to have a section of racks specifically for newbies with a couple “mentors” roaming the area to help them, answer questions, give pointers, etc? Then they don’t piss off the guy with the stick up his ass who makes them feel ashamed. They can start to build some of that camaraderie with other newbies and share that special kind of excitement. They can get some tips from more experienced folks, making sure they are not in too big a gear for example. And of course make it completely optional. But I can’t imagine how intimidated some people must feel racking their Walmart mountain bike next to a $10,000 rig. Something like that could help improve their overall experience and keep them in the sport.
I would sign up to be one of those “mentors” all day long. I love this idea.
Thanks for the perspectives on this. BTW: I know I’m a dick, so that’s why I put it out there, for folks of differing opinions to get my mind right. I can easily tweak the segment and spin it in a more positive way. Whatever we can do to get more folks into the sport IS the goal.
Thanks for the perspectives on this. BTW: I know I’m a dick, so that’s why I put it out there, for folks of differing opinions to get my mind right. I can easily tweak the segment and spin it in a more positive way. Whatever we can do to get more folks into the sport IS the goal.
I don’t know that you’re a dick as much as I think it’s really easy for experienced, middle- to front-of-pack athletes to forget what the newb experience is like. I am not competitive (in spirit or ability!), so that’s one of the things that makes tri enjoyable for me - bringing people into the sport and making that experience great. We all race for different reasons!
