my boss came down to bug me first thing this morning. he usually travels a lot so i don’t see him much. but he’s taking the whole month off of traveling so he comes down to bug us regularly.
he has absolutely no sense of personal space. this morning he wanted to see what i was doing on the computer so he cuddled up next to me with his disgusting breath. so close i could feel it on my neck!
Get a box of tic tacs. When he cuddles up to you again, reach in your desk, pull out the tic tacs, and say, “here you go.”
I understand it is the closeness and not the breath that is the primary issue, but, this subtle response may be enough to get him to back off.
Do you know if he was born & raised in a different culture than the US? Some other cultures simply have different customs regarding personal space.
he was born and raised in Montreal. He’s just rude; he has also taken off his shoes and put his feet up on my co-worker’s desk.
I bet you’re a woman and he’s a man? Factor that into the equation. Pardon me if I’m wrong.
I would probably say something about needing more space and laughing, trying to make a joke about it but making my point clear. I hate that…
Why do you all put up with that? Seriously. Don’t bother complaining to HR as that will go no where. You need to get together as a group and tell him that his behavior is unacceptable.
Got you beat, or at least equaled … old dudes in the gym. Today, typical horrorfest.
Me, just arrived, just dressed in my workout duds, sitting on the locker room bench putting on my shoes.
Old dude, unbeknownst to me, exits the shower, naked as the day many decades ago he was born, sidles up next to me, and precedes to bend over from the waste, thereby spreading his ass cheeks and exposing the ringed sphincter for all to see.
Me, of course, at this moment in time, I finish putting my my shoes, and pivot towards the naked old ass cheek spreading guy in preparation to leave the the locker room. Recoil in horror, as I get an eyeful of the purple starfish.
WTF is up with old guys in the locker room? I know it’s been discussed before. And don’t tell me to HTFU. I’m no prude, and not shy about my dangly bits… but goddammit, cover up.
****sorry rant off *****
Dude I used to go into the the sauna at the gym and 3 guys come in with just towels on and proceed to take the towels off hang them up and sit bare ass on the wooden bacteria absorbing bench’s. Never went back in there again but have seen this being done. GOD KNOWS MY ACHING MUSCLES COULD USE THE SAUNA. I have noticed that this seems to be mainly a Eastern Indian (someone from india surrounding area) descent thing. Is that normal with their culture? Not triing to be rascist, so do not read into this. Just have not seen any americans, asian, africans and europeans doing this.
I saw an old guy in the locker room using the public blow dryer to dry is taint…
Your post reminds me of this great book called “The No Asshole Rule”. Talks about how people who may be highly successful and productive can also bring down the productivity of everyone around them simply because they make the environment intolerable. I’ve seen it many times. One person can ruin an entire team or department just because they are an asshole. No one is happy and the business takes a hit because of it.
What is difficult is when the asshole is considered indispensable by management. What do you do when your “best” employee is a jerk? The author of the book says to fire him/her and that the cost to the business is far greater if he/she stays. The problem comes in when people complain and management only sees the bottom line results. I’ve seen it over and over. It has to become a company culture to not tolerate assholes, regardless of their impact on the financial success of the company. That will take care of itself once this person leaves and productivity and a healthy environment is re-established.
So, he recommends all businesses institute the No Asshole Rule. Toxic people are gone, regardless of their performance. I love it. If I’m ever in charge of a business unit or own my own business I’ll implement it.
You’d think this is obvious but clearly it isn’t otherwise the workplace would be much more pleasant for a lot of people.
I saw an old guy in the locker room using the public blow dryer to dry is taint…
I see this regularly. There must be something to it. Maybe I don’t know what I am missing? I was going to try it at home first.
Come on, who wouldn’t like nice toasty dry balls on a cold winter day. Don’t deny the old guy his one moment of Joy today. I shave my head once a month so the dryers are something I never use, but yes there are some old ball dryers in every locker room.
To the OP, I say when he’s down in your space is a great time to spill a little coffee on the desk and jump up, throwing him backwards and covering him in coffee (just be sure it’s not too hot). He will stand back after that.
On another note, HR is usualyy looking for ways to make themselves useful. Perhaps you sugest a brown bag lunch, atteneded by all Management and staff and have them make the “topic of the month” how to asses and deal with personal space issues.
Dave
why are people so touchy about not hurting someone feelings when it comes to issues like this. My best friend is a close talker and all it takes is a polite back up a foot or two. the point blank approach usualy is the most effective. and if he’s a dink about it then go see HR
If you like your job a little, then just politely tell your boss that different people have different amounts of personal space (which is true) and that yours happens to be a bit smaller than your boss’s. So, nothing personal, but please give me more room when we’re together. Your boss won’t like it, but the chances of major job repercussions are relatively low.
Bad breath can be dealt with anonymously (assuming that there are several other people with close contact with your boss). A short simple note or a bottle of Scope will get the message across. Cowardly, yes, who wants to tell the boss they have bad breath?
If you really like your job, then just suck it up.
I would slide away a bit and say “oh, I need a little space” or put your arms out and say “this is my space bubble.” Direct it head on and non-confrontationally. He should get the point.
There is this close talker at work and the next time he gets close to me, I’m going to say something. I won’t be rude, but I CANNOT stand close talkers.
Have you been proactive about the situation and said something to him about it?