So whats the proper manners? Three of us ride alot on training rides. One of the guys invites a “friend” for a 35 mile ride at about 21-22mph. The new friend falls off the back at 3 miles. We slow and he re-joins. At 10 miles we are out in the country and he falls off again. One guy goes on. I tell the guy that invited the friend “let me pull, keep him behind you and lets catch up”. I tell the friend "if you are falling off “say something” so we can slow and you can recover. Off we go.
A mile down the road he falls off again and says nothing. I go back and get him and now both the other two guys are gone. This guy has no idea where we are so I pull him 25 miles back home. We go from 20 to 19 to 18… finally I have to slow to 16 to keep him from falling off. I’m thinking I can’t leave the guy - he doesn’t know where he is, what if he gets lost or flats, what if he crashes?
In my mind, if you bring someone - you are responsible for them.
I just got home and I feel like calling - bull sh*t but thought 1. I would get opinions first and 2. I will relax my mind a bit before I make the call.
If you invite a buddy to join the ride, you’re responsible for them (or at least shouldn’t dump responsibiliy on another rider when the new guy can’t take care of himself).
You should wait a bit before making the call. Give it a day and talk to your riding buddy when it isn’t so fresh.
You’re a nice guy and all but if some dude shows up for a ride and can’t hack it, he can’t expect the group to wait. If the guy who invited him is a good friend he might wait up - the others have no responsibility whatsoever. Really, neither does the guy who extended the invitation - unless buddy who can’t hack it was told that it was a slow, easy ride and then the group dropped the hammer.
If buddy shows again, he’s on his own. If he’s determined, he’ll make it a little farther each time before getting dropped until one day he’s right there with the bunch.
I would drop him. I wouldn’t be an ass about it, just explain to him, that we go at a certain pace, and if you can’t keep up you know the way back. I have a friend like that, and since he doesn’t want to put in the work between the rides, he doesn’t really improve. I’d keep slowing down for him (getting nothing out of the ride) each week and letting the group go.
My point is if he really want to ride with you guys he’ll get at that level eventually. Again, don’t be rude about it, just lay the ground rules and make sure you both have phones.
x2–well said jp. Who knows, this cat may decide that he now needs to bust his tail & get in better shape. One day, he may return the favor & slow down for you to pull you back to town.
My point is if he really want to ride with you guys he’ll get at that level eventually. Again, don’t be rude about it, just lay the ground rules and make sure you both have phones.
X2 As long as the group make sure the guy has some chance of getting home (the inviTER needs to take the lead on this!) and you are honest with him about pace then its just tough. I have been that person on many occasions and would never has felt anything bad towards the faster riders…just myself. Once you get in better shape it doesnt happen. Everyone should have a phone, simple as that. If you get tired, have a defect then just call home and get help.
We started out with 6 riders and 3 dropped off together in the first two miles. NO big deal as they were all together as a second group. The 3 of us went on together for most of the ride… with about 15 miles to go the guy I invited was off the back. The two of us left him and rode home.
When I got home I called the guy like 4 times because I felt so bad… he was fine with it… but I was not.
So whats the proper manners? Three of us ride alot on training rides. One of the guys invites a “friend” for a 35 mile ride at about 21-22mph. The new friend falls off the back at 3 miles. We slow and he re-joins. At 10 miles we are out in the country and he falls off again. One guy goes on. I tell the guy that invited the friend “let me pull, keep him behind you and lets catch up”. I tell the friend "if you are falling off “say something” so we can slow and you can recover. Off we go.
A mile down the road he falls off again and says nothing. I go back and get him and now both the other two guys are gone. This guy has no idea where we are so I pull him 25 miles back home. We go from 20 to 19 to 18… finally I have to slow to 16 to keep him from falling off. I’m thinking I can’t leave the guy - he doesn’t know where he is, what if he gets lost or flats, what if he crashes?
In my mind, if you bring someone - you are responsible for them.
I just got home and I feel like calling - bull sh*t but thought 1. I would get opinions first and 2. I will relax my mind a bit before I make the call.
As others have said, it’s your friend’s responsibility to fall back with his buddy and get him home (bad on him that he couldn’t figure that out). If you haven’t made the call yet, I’d let it go. This was one day, one ride and hopefully an isolated incident. If his friend is planning on joining you regularly, then perhaps it’s time for a friendly conversation.
You’ll need to figure this out on your own. But it is good to have a frank and honest discussion about it - just so everyone is clear. I have ridden with groups that have a no-drop rule and that’s fine. If I know going in that’s the policy I am happy to hold to it. I ride with other groups where it’s rather ruthless, you get dropped and you are on your own, sorry! Sometimes a hybrid policy is struck that in the first 2/3 of the ride we’ll do our best to keep it together, but then in the last 1/3 or 1/4 or whatever, if you get dropped you are on your own.
We started out with 6 riders and 3 dropped off together in the first two miles. NO big deal as they were all together as a second group. The 3 of us went on together for most of the ride… with about 15 miles to go the guy I invited was off the back. The two of us left him and rode home.
When I got home I called the guy like 4 times because I felt so bad… he was fine with it… but I was not.
I wont leave a buddy again… NOT NICE.
I just got wrapped in the heat of the ride…
You’re such an asshat! (seemed you felt you deserved a good kick…I’m only here to help)
As to the OP, I agree with the you and the herd here; the OP is a saint.
I agree that the inviter is responsible. We had a guy on our team invite a guy that had a mechanical out on the ride. Since I am a higher person in the club i was like where did the kid go. I was slightly appalled that the inviter just assumed the invitee turned back home and kept trucking at 21 mph. So i drop back and the invitee cant get into his big chainring. We stop and try to fix it and then i take him do a place he is comfortable getting back home. Then when the kid said he was fine i dropped the hammer to catch the group. Where none of them cared about me dropping back or the invitee that got dropped. (in their defense on me i am a stronger cyclist than them). But still i felt it was not really my job to play babysitter. Oh and they dropped like 2 other guys that kept playing stoplight tag with us. They didnt seem to care about that either.
Call me an old-school curmudgeon, but I head out the door on every ride, whatever the type of ride, solo, group, drop/no drop, with the personal expectation and goal, that I am on my own and self sufficient to get back home, no matter the circumstances. That means being able to deal with almost all mechanical issues and a good sense of local geography( even riding in strange places, often). I can think of only one instance in nearly 30 years of road riding that I have had to make the call for a pick up for help( a double flat on a nasty cold and wet day). I find it strange that more than a few people head out the door, with a blind hope, that if something goes wrong, they are going to get helped home, somehow.
Call me an old-school curmudgeon, but I head out the door on every ride, whatever the type of ride, solo, group, drop/no drop, with the personal expectation and goal, that I am on my own and self sufficient to get back home, no matter the circumstances. That means being able to deal with almost all mechanical issues and a good sense of local geography( even riding in strange places, often). I can think of only one instance in nearly 30 years of road riding that I have had to make the call for a pick up for help( a double flat on a nasty cold and wet day). I find it strange that more than a few people head out the door, with a blind hope, that if something goes wrong, they are going to get helped home, somehow.
But you sound experienced and prepared.
I’ve ONCE rode with a bike mechanic who don’t carry an extra tube or any flat repair. I think he now lives in AK.
The experience you gain( Stuff like being able to boot with a $5 bill or an used gel or energy bar wrapper), but the preparation - that should be there from the get-go, no?
but the preparation - that should be there from the get-go, no?
pink> Hell No!!! This is 2010. The age of never accepting personal responsibility. The rider was entitled to have the entire group wait for him. You are getting old. Stop living in the past. <pink
Actually, that was a dick move on the part of his friend.
The experience you gain( Stuff like being able to boot with a $5 bill or an used gel or energy bar wrapper), but the preparation - that should be there from the get-go, no?
That was another part of the problem; all I had was a $10 and that asshole had slit his tire (that is pre-2008 dollars).
It baffles me how someone can be experienced but not prepared.
I think that if you go to a group ride and you are new then:
You have assumed the risk of whatever you might find (or not find)
You better ask lots of questions and do your homework prior to the ride
You better have put in serious effort to improve your riding strength
