New element discovered

The Coffee Shop
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Lawrence Livermore Laboratories** has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass ****of 312. ******

These 312 particles are held** **together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles , called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into** ****contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would ****normally take less than a second, to take from four days to four years ****to complete! ******

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years; It** does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a ****portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. ****In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming ****isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical ****morass. ******

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes** Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has **************
half as many peons but twice as many morons**.**** **

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Me likey.

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***Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons. ***

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Glad to see that someone else is carrying on my physics theme for the day. :slight_smile:

You forgot to mention one thing. Because of the Pauli exclusion principle, all the atoms in proximity to a Gv atom are precluded from operating normally.

“These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons…”

Interestingly, the moron is the ultimate particle that is sought in investigations of ethics. Its anti-particle is known as the immoron, and the morality of a thing is determined by its net balance of morons vs. immorons. This should answer the long-standing question in the LR as to whether or not there is a scientific basis for moral value.