Short Version:
Stellar action star cast, horrid script, wooden dialogue, lots of missed oppotunities for clever repartee. Overall I liked it but I hate myself for liking it. Kinda like Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man.
Longer Version:
The Expendables are a mercenary group that basically goes places and kills people and makes money. They are headed up by Sly Stallone and feature action film luminaries Jason Statham, Jet Li, Randy Couture, Randy Crews and Dolph Lundgren.
The good: Jet Li is good. He actually gets his ass kicked a couple of times which is oddly entertaining. In one scene he fights Lundgren, very good for a laugh. Statham is also entertaining in his imicable wooden way. And creepy Mickey Rourke shows up and does his ugly cool guy best. Also the action. Lots of great shooting seens and hand to hand combat, some cool moves, although Staham has this one spinorama move repeated about eight times that seemed very weird.
The bad: Stallone. He wrote possibly the worst script ever. Bruce Willis and Arnold Swartzenegger make cameo appearances and the three of them stand around like three pieces of wood spouting horrid horrid lines. Great opportunity for some snappy banter a la Oceans Eleven, but it would seem that nobody actually read the script before filming. Also bad: Eric Roberts doing his best villain impression. He sports a George Hamiltonian tan and a smirk that makes you want to punch him in the face.
The ugly: Stallone. He is too old. He runs in a couple of scenes and looks 70. Ditto Dolph. Deep lines on his face make him look used up, plus he mumbles every line even worse than usual.
So overall, this movie is a giant piece of shit. But every now and then you need to take a giant shit, so go see it.
I saw this last weekend. I enjoyed it. It is everything you expect it to be. If you liked the action films of the late 80’s and early to mid 90’s you will like this film if you didnt you wont.
As mentioned above the script is not great in fact pretty mediocre but I never went to an action movie expecting much in the way of a script anyway. I didnt think it was terrible just as I said mediocre.
“Ditto Dolph. Deep lines on his face make him look used up, plus he mumbles every line even worse than usual.”
I think that is part of his character… he has lived the hard life of a drug addicted mercenary and looks the role. He does look very weathered and beat up but again I thought it worked for his role in the film.
I really enjoyed Mickey Rourke in this film and thought he really stole the scenes he was in (again keep in mind this is an action film first so not exactly hard to do) but I really felt Mickey put in the best acting performance of everyone in the film.
As for the Stalone, Arnold and Willis scene I agree with the O.P. in that a great opportunity was lost with mostly wooden dialogue and lame jokes (although there is one pretty funny joke in this scene that had me and the rest of the theatre cracking up).
In short it is what it is and if you like the action films that these inividuals were in you will enjoy this film.
Haa my exact description of the movie was Awesomly Bad! I found myself laughing my a$$ off at several parts that prob werent intended to be funny but man that movie was a lot of fun in a terrible way! Dolph was awesome! I just knew he was going to hang a pirate, that just what your supposed to do with them!
I cant wait to see it agin!
See I kind of thought this movie succeeded where the Traveling Wilburys failed. Although with all of Mickey Rourke’s various women I was hoping we would get to see some of Kim Basinger from 9 1/2 Weeks…
Why would you hate yourself for liking the Marlboro Man?? American icon.
I walked out of the theater thinking “ok, end of that genre”.
It was unbelievably bad, but more than that, it was tired, like an old boxer taking one more shot at the title, or a QB just getting decimated in the backfield. With the exception of Stratham, and probably Rourke (in different roles), the entire cast revealed itself to be a one-trick pony with nothing fresh to offer.