On paper it’s reasonable to tell people you don’t want their hands on you.
In reality and in context it’s a common, genderless, innocuous gesture in close quarters conversation so calling him out feels like asymmetrical warfare.
So who’s the asshole?
https://x.com/acyn/status/1902548049165197813?s=46&t=f4MKbkOzpNU_o_bXlnvUlQ
The answer is always O’Leary.
disagree.
it’s an asymmetrical gesture by its nature. i’ll argue that by and large, a man will do it more to a woman than vice versa. In effect it’s a physical rather than verbal interruption.
also, contrary to being an a****e, she was quite polite in telling him to f**ck off
He is a pig. Watch how he treats his female co-stars on Shark Tank.
I don’t see an asshole here. He touched her arm like he was trying to let her know that he wanted to say something (my guess).
She doesn’t want him to touch her. She told him.
He said he won’t do it again.
Where’s the problem?
Also a reasonable take. But it was a bit of a public shaming, the implication being that he took liberties with her body and she’s not having it. His response was appropriate, and chastened.
Guy looks familiar but I don’t know anything about him otherwise. I’m guessing him being who he is had everything to do with her reaction. Otherwise an off-air “hey, I don’t appreciate being touched without consent” would be a cordial and professional way to address that among colleagues. It struck me as intentionally putting him in his place publicly and that there’s a history behind it. And he may well be the asshole.
Agree that it’s more of a man move than vice versa from what I’ve seen. Everyone who I know personally who does this is male.
It is a physical interruption of sorts. It says, I’m about to speak over you so you might want to wrap it up.
I’ve also heard men and women fairly regularly (more women in my viewing experience, possibly because men interrupt more often?) hit the hard brakes on someone’s interruption, telling them to zip it while they finish their point, so while it was about interrupting somewhat, it was more about the physical contact. Or maybe the physical contact-as-interruption tactic that she wasn’t putting up with? Probably this.
I take it this guy’s a dick on Shark Tank. Why exactly is he on a political roundtable show?
That’s how I see it too. It’s a more insistent and intrusive way to try to interrupt.
I believe her when she says she doesn’t want him to touch her. I suspect that it’s as much about not wanting to be interrupted in her train of thought as it is about the physicality of it (which seemed pretty minor to me…but not my shoulder, so who knows).
Exactly this.
And it is also a super patronizing action by the male (in this case).
She responded perfectly appropriately to an unnecessary action by a blowhard.
To make it worse, he is a Canadian commenting on US politics. We don’t need to import rich guys to jack up our politics. We have plenty of our own. We should impose a tariff.
I don’t agree with that at all. I’ve seen lots of women, more commonly than men, who reach out and touch someone on the forearm while speaking. Maybe it’s different culturally in different regions.
I’ve read some interesting and some not so insightful responses to this online, the gist being that some people feel it’s a common gesture to make during conversation or debate and that she’s weaponizing something commonplace as sexist and condescending, the other being that the gesture itself is exactly that and should be called out. Maybe her addressing it on air in real time was a way of making that latter point and not a reflection of just her own discomfort.
I think we can apply the Elon Salute rule. You can say it’s innocuous and people are overreacting and not what it appeared to be, but would you do it at work with your boss? If the answer is a hell-no, you’ve got your answer.
a couple more things . . .
with O’Leary it could be a kind of entitlement that’s more childlike than sexist – he never grew out of tugging on mom while she’s in a convo with somebody else to get her attention. Don’t know his persona well enough to say.
@Slowguy – i touch other people on the arm sometimes in conversation and probably shouldn’t – it’s for emphasis/connection instead of signalling i want to speak; in fact i’m usually speaking when I do it. Could be read as flirtatious . . .
the fact that this is televised makes it 1000% more performative on everybody’s part
My wife does this too, but never while arguing a point.
I can’t remember the last time I touched a woman … (wait, that doesn’t sound right), in a professional setting… (ok, that sounds worse)… other than my wife (I should just stop now).
I’ll try again…I don’t think it’s ever appropriate to touch a woman colleague. To interrupt, interject, call attention, or otherwise. Too many ways a touch (any touch) can be misinterpreted. Just better to avoid that minefield completely.
This. These shows with multiple talking heads or panelists become a scrum where each person is trying to get their few seconds of screen time and perform for their audience, be it Trump specifically or MAGA or lefties generally or whoever.
In a real conversation, most likely this would never have been a confrontation, absent some kind of preexisting bad blood.
This was at the core of my point in the OP. Should he? No, probably not. Should he know better? Hard to say, he may operate in circles where it’s commonplace among men and women. Even if her general position is correct (and I think it is), telling someone in front of millions of viewers to get their hands off their body is a powerful statement and I think she intended to make a powerful impact with it. That’s not necessarily a criticism though; maybe that’s the correct use of the platform when that opportunity arises to say “…and by the way, this bullshit with putting your hands on my body without my consent as a way to shut me up ain’t happening.”
It is also about reading the room and the situation. Which O’Leary clearly cannot manage to do very well.
Because what is maybe ok between two friends or maybe even two coworkers who know and like each other is totally inappropriate between strangers on a debate roundtable on national tv.
She reacted strongly, yes. But she asserted herself perfectly appropriately in response to a totally inappropriate move.
He has leveraged his persona on Shark Tank and Dragons Den before that in to one of political commentary. I believe he started out doing economic and business related bits on fox, and is also on any time fox wants to take shots at Canada (O’Leary is Canadian and all too happy to criticize Trudeau and the Liberal party). His role in the political commentary scene has grown since.
Best way I can describe him is he is kind of like what Jordan Peterson would have become had he gone to business school instead of studying psychology.
This is the way I see it, I would never reach out a touch a female coworker in a professional setting unless I had an existing relationship with her that would leave me to believe it was ok.
I’ll admit, I think O’leary is an absolute piece of shit, so I may not be being objective.