Today’s bikesportmichigan.com editorial is about the one year anniversary of Michael R. Rabe’s fatal cycling accident. For those of you who knew him, you may find it of interest:
Very deep, thanks for sharing.
As always Tom, I really enjoyed your writing. Sometimes, for no logical reason at all, the best people are stolen from us. But it is in our memories that they live on. Keep your best friend alive, Tom. Keep him alive until the day you eventually join him.
I was drawn to thinking quite a bit about what you wrote and damn I hope I get the chance to meet you some day.
One thing I learned when I was in an accident as a crazed teenager on a motorcycle listening to the nurse inform my parents that their son is in the hospital: it isn’t the victim that suffers the most when someone dies, it is the loved ones and friends they leave behind. Rabe’s suffering was short; it’s Tom and the others that got the tough hill to climb. I think about this every time I have a choice between a dangerous route and safety. The suffering my wife would go through were I killed (or probably worse yet, incapacitated), makes it unlikely you’ll see me taking any calculated risks - I don’t consider it my choice. Great writing Tom, I’m sure it will stay with me as a reminder.
I did get the opportunity and pleasure of meeting Tom D a few weeks ago in Honolulu. I hope you meet him too.
Michael R. Rabe sure was fortunate to have a friend like you Tom.
Nice words.
Wow, an amazing article, wish I had known him. Take care Tom.
Tom, a very eloquent celebration of friendship you expressed there. Sounds to me there were two lucky guys in that friendship.
That was an incredibly moving eulogy, Tom. You are lucky to have had such a good friend. Sorry he was taken away from you.
(Why is it that offering condolences always sounds so trite?)
Thank you for sharing that.
Thanks for your kind words and thoughts guys. I really appreciate it very much. The kindness of people from all over the world through Slowtwitch and our own website have been a big factor in remember that none of us are alone in loss.
I appreciate it. I apologize for the length and disjointed “feel” of that piece. I just kind of sat down and rattled it of. The darn thing is nearly 4,000 words long and very rambling. I doubt many people who did not know either Michael R. RAbe or myself will find it of much interest. As with a lot of my editorials it is kind of a personal diary.
I think it’s very noble of you to share like this.
When my dad died it was a much longer time before I could share with my friends and family without getting upset.
Speaking from experience, grief isn’t a race. There’s no reward for resuming a ‘normal’ life as fast as possible. What’s not so important is not how fast you get over it, but only that you do in the course of time.
Yes time does heal all wounds I guess. That doesn’t mean there isn’t scar tissue left over though.
I actually wrote this about four days ago and revised it some. I wondered if it was even appropriate to post it. After all, we just sell bikes. What do our customers care?
Finally though, I decided there were enough people in the area that knew Michael R. Rabe that it seemed somehow fitting to honor his memory and chronicle his passing. There is also another rant about helmet use in there too.
Also, the businessman in me says that good drama makes people read- so my motives weren’t entirely altruistic.
And I also hoped reading this might help people connect with their own thoughts and expereinces related to loss.
Once again though, I really appreciate everyne reading and passing on their compliments. It makes me feel good.
Thank you guys.
You are great friend, Tom. There is more to life than just someones perception of “proper”. Rabe will live forever in your memories and that is the greatest gift a friend can give. Wish you well and keep Michael alive!
Larry
Tom, it is not my intent to push your thread in a different direction, however, I want to respond to your posted insecurities.
Of course it’s appropriate to post it. It’s your site, and your editorials are posted at your discretion. They are usually cause for reflection, but still have some connection to the sport. As does this one.
I mentioned in another thread that building a successful bike shop is about building a community. Michael was a big part of your community. From what you say, he is still very much part of that community.
Helmet use is vitally important. I say this as someone who always lands on his head.
Finally, your story reminds us that there is still much to be done to get larger society to start respecting the rights of pedestrians and bicyclists, and to hold people accountable for their behavior when they get behind the wheel, regardless of their mental state.
I was in a bike store near Rochester last May 3rd buying some items for the Wolverines annual ride to Pt. Peele in Canada the following day. The phone rang while I was checking out and the look of shock and horror on the employees face told it all. He dropped the phone and with tears in his eyes announced Michael Rabe had been killed the night before. The following email was sent out shortly after the service by a long time Wolverine and deserves to be replayed 1 year later:
Bikers,
Yesterday it was very heart warming to see the great numbers of biking
friends who gathered to honor the life of Mike Rabe. The fact that his
major contribution to the cycling community was that he was helping
others reach their goals and their dreams.
As much as anyone Mike Rabe was filling the hole that was left when Mike
Walden died in 1996. To say such a thing is perhaps the best compliment
we could give a person as Mike Walden had over 60 years in which he
groomed bikers into champion bikers as well as champion people. Mike Rabe
was on the same track and was doing very well. His time was just to
short, much to short for anyone and especially one of our own special
brand of bikers.
I’ve had 56 years of biking as a Wolverine, dating back to 1947. During
that time I’ve been associated with wonderful people that helped me,
inspired me as well as accompanied me to races and tours around the
country. Whenever we loose one of our brethren it is shocking to our
senses and leaves us with a hole that cannot be filled. We realize that
we will no longer be seeing that person at the next race nor on the next
tour or training session.
That person becomes a part of the history of the Wolverine Sports Club.
Such is the case,now, with Mike Rabe who gave his all to helping others.
He will be missed by Junior Riders to whom he helped teach the
fundamentals. He will be missed as the voice of the Madison Racing at the
Velodrome. He will be missed as a leader and coach at the Walden School
of Cycling. He will be missed as a kind and gentle human being. He will
be missed. He will be missed.
Very touching. He was one of the good guys.
Hey Jeff_Mdot,
Thanks for your message. It was amazing how Rabe’s passing sent shockwaves through the cycling community and they have yet to recover.
It speaks volumes about the level of his contribution to the sport and the cycling community.
On the contrary, I think it was very interesting and very moving. Made me cry this morning. It was obviously written from the heart…more important than semantics.
I lost a good friend to a brain tumor last year - May 28 is that anniversary. Three months before her diagnoses, she and several of us ran the Portland marathon together. One month before her diagnoses her husband and I did our first Ironman together - with her cheerfully marking our bodies in a grass skirt and lei bright and early in the am and cheering for our tired bodies in the pm.
For whatever reason, it was an entirely different feel from other losses in my life. I’ve had some big ones, including my father when I was 10 (also a brain tumor - crazy). But this one was so different and I think a lot of it was the fact that she was so active and so much a part of my running and triathlon life. Should never have happened to her.
Should never have happened to your friend. I’m sorry for your loss.
~geek
Thank You very much for sharing…
Your friend was lucky to have someone who loved him as much as you do
I would add to your please wear a helmet statement an emphatic please wear your seatbelt and please don’t drink and drive. It is amazing when you see a 16 year old girl in the emergency department destined to never walk or talk again after an accident going 30 miles an hour and then watch someone walk away from an accident at 80 miles an hour just becuase they were wearing a seatbelt… Seatbelt like helmet… may be uncomfortable but who cares do you want to live or not wear a seatbelt?
Thank you again guys; irongeek (sweetie…), taku and everyone, hid, all you guys. I am reminded of this great Kennedy, Aeshcyles (sp?) quote:
“And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget, falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despite, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God.”
Kennedy paraphrased that great Greek quote at the funeral of Martin Luther King.