It’s enormous. I don’t know what to do. It bangs like a door knocker on my knees when I run. I get lightheaded everytime I look at porn. I bought a Bento Box for my bike and there’s no room for PowerBars. I keep catching it in my wetsuit zipper. If it gets any bigger it’s going to need it’s own cardiovascular system. Help me, please.
Is your zipper not on the back of the wet suit? If so, just cram it in your ass for storage during the swim…the zipper does not go that far down (DONT pee in the suit if your penis is in your ass though, urine enemas cant be good for you). And, dont show it to women…it will only scare them…I would suggest you hang out at the maternity ward…maybe you can “fit in” to something there.
Sorry for your troubles man…that is tragic.
Jason and Chip,
Thanks. That was the laugh of the day for me. I once knew a guy who had to tape himself to his leg during rugby games or it would hang out under his shorts and be an, uhm, er, “target” for the opposition. He was in a small town and actually had a hard time getting dates because of his reputation and the implied physical threat.
have a good weekend,
robert
I once knew a guy who had to tape himself to his leg during rugby games or it would hang out under his shorts…
Ever hear of BVDs?? A jock strap?? Seems to me that pulling the tape off would hurt. Not that I would know as I personally don’t have one of those things…kj
If it gets any bigger it’s going to need it’s own cardiovascular system. Help me, please.
Jason walks up to the starting line with a rubber raft in tow sounding like an Olympic Ping Pong match…as he has purchased Bernard Clarks former artificial heart from a seller on eBay to support the cardiovascular system of his redwood like penis that has been growing like kelp…maybe it is a penile goyter? Is that possible, heck, if a man can do the swim with his son in a boat in tow - surely you can tow your penis life support system.
Dude, you could make alot of money off of that. Then you can get a beercan bike or plastic one wth your cash.
Jason,
We are a rare breed indeed. Let the others laugh, they will never walk a day in our shoes.
Be strong, be proud.
Guys stop. You’ll have Tom D dreaming about hot dogs again. That poor little closet monkey.
I had the same problem. Solved with my pipe cutter. Send me a PM with your address and I’ll mail it to you.
Your rabbi must be overwhelmed…thats allot a schmuck…wallet at least
.
Had a guy in my fraternity…nickname - ‘Kickstand’
He’d swing that thing around at parties and everybody would duck for cover.
That was one lucky white boy.
-Mitch
Yeah…and the women he was with were not so lucky when they got stiched up shortly after consumating their evening…apeziomety anyone?
okay…I am just an average guy who is jelous…
I’ve never needed more…
As we say in ST, without pictures…
.
LOL!! HIGH FIVE SISTER!! woohoo!!
well known pro from new zealand’s nickname is “lane rope” 
Sorry no names, but you can guess
.
I don’t want to brag but I will…
It is not uncommon for me to get my Johnson stuck in the chain while cycling.
You really should put those brats on a plate, not on your bike. Hockey cards will make teh cool noise when attached to the spokes, but a grilled meattube will not.
Careful what you wish for.
watch out for what? A bbq? 
Ooooh, you meant watch out for the HUGE PENIS! gotcha, I’ll keep an eye out.
Eeek! There it is! Run away, run away!!!