How to mentally get past a DNS or DNF

Triathlon Forum
1

So it’s taken me almost a month to even post this because I felt like with time I may feel better about my decision at IMCDA.

I had signed up 11 months prior and the months were a blur of club rides/runs, half and full marathons, 40, 75, 100 mile rides and relaxing days in the pool swimming. I won’t downplay that I slowly built up everything to IMCDA.

So with all of that the week arrived and my brother in law, myself and our circus of family and friends came in tow. Thursday I woke up with the sniffles, thought it was allergies and went for a 20 minute run and to get a lap in on the swim course. Friday thought I still had allergies and didn’t think anything of it, went for a nice 15 mile ride in through town. Friday night was when things took a bad turn, I woke up with a fever and couldn’t keep any of my carbo loading down. Still I got up at 445 and joined my brother in law feeling pretty bad. We made the decision to ask the first aid people when we got and get at least a little professional advice. The staff told me I had a temp of 102 and it was my call to go or not and through out words like flu, pneumonia, death but ultimately they were not going to just pull me out of the race. I’m sure it won’t be the toughest decision of my 28 year life, but it was hard to walk around transition with my wetsuit half on gathering my belongings. I late was diagnosed with strep throat back at home.
*A side note is my brother in law did compete, finished well but was also sick just not as bad. He actually got walking pneumonia and was bed ridden for 7 days.

So outside of the texts, emails and phone calls of ‘why can’t I see you online?’ and people being shocked they were actually talking to me compounded with feeling like my parents had wasted time and money to come and see a bunch of people compete and not their son it was a rough couple of days.

This was the first athletic event in my life that I didn’t even attempt, I have run races sick/hung over, done training sessions hurt and I felt and still feel like when I really needed to grit my teeth and go I didn’t. I’ve never been called a quitter but thats how I have viewed myself in private for the past few weeks, which is completely accurate.

I guess sage advice is what I’m looking for, I’m fond of and still plan on racing two HIM’s in 09, have a lot of various races over the rest of this year with a sprint tri this Saturday, but I haven’t felt like I’ve been able to push myself during training sessions, less than 8 weeks ago I would get up and go a 90 minute run on my own and feel like I was moving right along, now if I’m out for 35 minutes I feel slow like I have no kick or turnover.

If anyone has been there any advice would help. To everyone that completed IMCDA I was glad to be there and witness it and congrats.

2

So it’s taken me almost a month to even post this because I felt like with time I may feel better about my decision at IMCDA.

This was the first athletic event in my life that I didn’t even attempt, I have run races sick/hung over, done training sessions hurt and I felt and still feel like when I really needed to grit my teeth and go I didn’t. **I’ve never been called a quitter but thats how I have viewed myself in private for the past few weeks, which is completely accurate. **

I guess sage advice is what I’m looking for, I’m fond of and still plan on racing two HIM’s in 09, have a lot of various races over the rest of this year with a sprint tri this Saturday, but I haven’t felt like I’ve been able to push myself during training sessions, less than 8 weeks ago I would get up and go a 90 minute run on my own and feel like I was moving right along, now if I’m out for 35 minutes I feel slow like I have no kick or turnover.

If anyone has been there any advice would help. To everyone that completed IMCDA I was glad to be there and witness it and congrats.
The line in bold is why you feel slow, and don’t want to train. You have basically the same body you did before you got sick, but now your mind is saying “Wow, you quitter, you suck, what are you even doing running?”.

Acceptance. That’s the only word you need. You need to look in the mirror, and make yourself accept that you made a conscious choice between racing and your health, and chose your health. People understand, and anyone that says “Wow, a cold, I’d have run” is just a tard.

I went through the exact same thing in martial arts about 3 years ago. Up to that point, in 16 years of competing, I had NEVER failed to bring home at least one trophy. And, at Spring Nationals, I went in underprepared, and in front of the wife and parents got my ass handed to me. In everything. It took me a good 2 months before I even went back to class. My wife and instructor both sat me down and told me I was being an idiot, and I had a long talk with myself to convince myself I was still a good martial artist, I just had a bad tournament. (And you’d have laughed, my instructor is a 5’2" woman, and my wife is under 5’ tall, and they were both scolding me… :D)

Accept that it was a bad moment, get your mind to tell yourself that you are still a good athlete, and things will pick up.

John

3

Life gets in the way. You did what you had to do in order to continue living a health lifestyle and be able to go to the starting line another day. You didn’t really have a choice. I’ll let the health professionals remind you of why.

Re-evaluate your schedule for the rest of the year and even into next year. IM is a big goal race, maybe you need to have something that makes you excited again or whatever makes sense.

As a friend once told me, “Get out of your own head. Just go out and start doing what makes you happy!”

The training will come when you are ready to do it.

Good Luck!

4

HTFU

:wink:

Surprised I am the first.

5

I would advise to race for yourself and not your family and friends. I’ve been bicycle racing on and off for 20+ years. Sometimes wife and daughter want to go, but I never play it up or “ask for their support” to be there. I’ll just tell them that it’s boring unless you’re doing it. Otherwise you stand around for an hour, watch a pack of 100 bikes go by in 10 seconds and then do over again for however many laps there are. Tri spectatoring can’t be that much better.

Secondly why are you doing it? I race because it’s fun. Not laughing fun, but hard work fun. But if it’s not fun, I’m not so stubborn as to not pack it up and head for home. For example, there was a 2 day stage race early this season. On the second day, the wind was howling 15+ and gusting up to 30. Almost everybody in the pack is acting like a fool only 10 miles into a 50 mile stage and there’s no reason for it because all the GC contenders are camped out at the front of the pack. After almost getting clipped several times, I dropped off and headed back to the car. Crashing and an ambulance ride are “not fun” in my book.

DNF/DNS is not quitting. It means you assessed the situation and determined it was not to your tactical or strategic advantage to continue. I think 102 fever would fall under the category of not in a position to compete effectively.

6

I think that you were very smart for not starting!!! As you probably already know, training, much less racing an ironman with a fever is NOT SMART!! If you happen to have a virus (I am not a doctor) it can eventually cause that virus to move to your heart. This causes major damage and can be fatal.

I understand that you have trained sick or not at your best before, (hopefully not with a fever), but don’t you think that race day is not just rolling out of your house and going for a training run or ride. There is so much going on around you and you are prepping yourself for a long day and you have people there you have probably been taking care of ect…you are expending much more mental energy and need all your physical and mental to be strong and healthy and rested.

I DNF’ed AZ. I was so depressed my family and friends were there ect… Anyway eventually I did a HIM and remembered how great it is and signed up for another IM…

Maybe try to forgive yourself (it was a smart decision) and think how much stronger you will be at your next race

Hope this helps

7

Just focus on your next event (looks like you have a busy several months ahead).

You made the decision you thought was right (it probably was right). Now, don’t obsess on it. What’s done is done. Move on. The excitement of getting ready for your next event and then actually participating in it will replace your bad experience at CDA. There is no magic psychological pill. The way to prove to yourself that you’re not a quitter is to enter an event and finish it. Simple as that.

BTW, the Mt. Evans race on Saturday still has plenty of openings. That’s a good one for getting a positive experience under your belt. No need to wait for the 24 hrs.

8

Been there man, DNF’d at IMAZ this year. Trained my ass off, through injuries etc for 5 months. 1 mile into the swim got severe vertigo and puking (calling what I had “dizziness” would be like calling what you had a “cold”, I couldn’t keep my head out of the water). The decision to DNF was up to me (“Do you want me to call the boat?” asked the kayaker). Completely unexpected, out of the blue, never happened bfore. I was back in my hotel room hugging the pillow and trying not to barf by 9 am, when my friends were all out finishing their tough day (on reflection, I figure if I was going to DNF better to just have a nice little 30 minute swim and go home rather than suffer on the bike)

I know the walk of shame too, as I had to go back to the site at about 8 pm to pick up my bike etc. Was with a group of 10 people, they all finished, I didn’t, and most didn’t know it until the next morning when they asked “how was your race?” Felt like a quitter, a loser, was embarrassed, was ashamed, all that bullshit. Truth is, I had nothing to do with the decision, my body said I wasn’t doing an IM that day. Even if I could’ve gotten through the swim somehow, I couldn’t stand up without nearly falling over until the next morning.

You listened to your body and did what you had to do. Now all you can do is wait, because it’s going to take time. I didn’t want anything to do with IMs or the big hoopla… but somehow I am registered for IMAZ 11/08. Go figure.

ETA - a friend that has done a few IMs said IM race is as much a mental/emotional release from all the months of training as a physical release. That has to be taken into consideration, IMHO

ETA 2- I raced Wildflower mountain bike two weeks later, still a little woozy, decided to get back on the horse, especially the swims - THAT has been the hardest to get over, just getting out into OWS. Just decided to keep racing and try to move on

Pacific Open Water Challenge 1 mile swim
Camp Pendleton Oly - July 19, 2008
Naples Island 3 mile Swim - July 27, 2008
Dwight Crum Pier to Pier 2 mile swim - Aug. 3, 2008
Santa Barbara Triathlon - Aug. 23, 2008
Amtrak Century LA to San Diego - Sept 6, 2008
Hermosa Tri- Oct. 12, 2008
Pumpkinman HIM - Oct. 18, 2008
Solvang Prelude - Nov. 1, 2008
IMAZ Nov. 23, 2008

9

I had a somewhat silimar situation in that I had just a terrible race that I really should have DNSd. Wiped out, demoralized and vowing to never race again, my coach told me to so sign up for a fun little race, no pressure, go out and enjoy the swim, watch the landscape go by on the bike and run, take an extra minute to loudly thank all the volunteers. No HRM, no watch, no time, no pressure, just for the fun of it. He was right. Try it.

10

At least somebody said HTFU and I totally expected to hear that!

Thanks for the great advice. I have a full calendar because I like training and really enjoy competing, my big fear was I had lost a little of that determination side of things and it would affect racing.

The good thing is training never feels like work or training is a job to me. I felt down because after a month of people offering apologies and trying to move past it I just couldn’t shake it. I don’t regret not racing, I think I regretted not trying(but even that is kind of a bad idea because the water temp being what it is).

11

You made completely the right call and I have no doubt that if your parents care enough about you to have made the trip to spectate, then they would care enough that they would rather you didn’t risk your health chasing what, at the end of the day, is a hobby.

The great thing about sport is that there’s always another chance to prove yourself. You’ll still have great fitness from all that IM training. My suggestion would be to try and find a low-key local race to enter and go round with no expectations. Doesn’t even have to be a tri - a duathlon, or a 10k, or anything like that would do. You might surprise yourself. The key thing is to get yourself out there again and before you know it you’ll be setting new goals and probably entering another IM.

12

Hopefully you’re test was conclusively strep. Viruses similar to mono present with strep conditions as well. (found out first hand about 2 months ago) If they didn’t do a test to be sure, you might consider getting tested for at least mono since it is the most common. Could be a medical explanation for the sluggish workouts. I was out for 6 solid weeks before I got any sensation of normal. If you have continued to try and train it could very easily last longer.

If they you got the test and it was indeed strep, then just sum it up to sh*t happens. I walked 11 mi of the run at Steelhead last year after being around top 20 off the bike for my first half. That was a real roller coaster, but I learned more about racing and myself from that day than I have from the best days I’ve had. If I hadn’t paid $200 and I would have had the problems I was having prior to the race, I would have just dropped out. It’s ok to be upset about it, but there will be other times so just learn from it and apply it.

13

Agree completely, 100% with HTFU!!!

Don’t take this personally, but every time someone posts that they are depressed and can’t train cuz they DNF’d or DNS, I just shake my head. What the F**k???

This is a friggin’ hobby that you took up because you liked to swim, bike and run (well in my case I swim and run so I can enjoy the bike in between). I can’t ever understand why people need mental support to do their hobby. If you need mental support I think you need to rethink why you started this HOBBY in the first place.

Now its different if you are a pro and race to make money. I’d probably hire a psychologist to help with the extra edge. But, 99% of the people on this forum are in tri’s for a hobby since we like to beat ourselves into a wall training and racing. I’ve had 1 DNS and 1 DNF in 18 years. I just love to ride my bike in between the thrashing in the water and beating my joints to hell on a sidewalk.

The racing is for fun and we can race, since we enjoy the training.

I’ll have to say HTFU and go enjoy your bike.