As I asked in the headder, how do you get your head on straight when the poop hits the fan in your personal life? Without going into detail, I have been SLAMMED by something going on with one of my kids, and I am exhausted, both mentally and physically, with the upcoming IMLP as another source of stress on the very close horizon. NOT doing LP is NOT an option. How have you pulled yourself up by the proverbial bootstraps and done an IM when you are going into it with no juice left in your lemon?
Thanks for reading. Thanks in advance for sharing.
I look at my traing and racing as me time, a time to just focus on me for a while and forget everthing else. And most times solutions come to me at this time when I am not thinking of them. Hope this helps, I have had a few days like this myself recently
There will doubtless be many forthcoming suggestions to your question, and most of them will be stellar.
I would suggest you try not to think about it. Focus is your new friend. When you are training, don’t think about all of the poop going on in other aspects of your life. There is nothing you can do to fix things when you are training (likewise there is nothing you can do to further your training when you are shoveling poop) and at that point your thoughts are nothing but a distraction and will degrade your training. Divide and conquer is the theme. Do whatever you are presently dealing with to the best of your ability and with maximum effictiveness, but when your alloted time for that task is over, forget about it. It is ancient history. Dead and gone.
I read somewhere that a deer is only thinking about the next 2 minutes of it’s life. The previous 2 minutes do not exist anywhere in it’s brain, and any future beyond the next 2 minutes are not considered. Somehow this strikes me as very zen. Of course the trick for me is not letting things drop and after not thinking about a pressure getting back to it and taking care of it in a timely fashion.
I take time off work and deal with. No sense being at work when my head isn’t there. That is how big mistakes are made and I can’t afford to make mistakes.
Go to LP a couple days before the race…you will feel it all come back…head to the Gatoraide swims, eat at Black bear…hang out with all the Tri folks…they are all over LP that week…dont worry about it.
Easy: Understand the difference between “important” and “urgent”. Not everything that is important is urgent, and sometimes urgent things are not important, but must be dealt with quickly. Always engage the closest target first. In other words- re-read the above about “important” and “urgent”. Assess your values, and make decisions congruent with your value systems. Prioritize. Don’t be afraid to take casualties. You have to let some things go, it is the natur of life to not be able to get or do everything you want. Sometimes you have to let things slide. Having the judgement to know when and where that is appropriate is the key.
Good luck my friend.
Here’s a funny anecdote for you. Yesterday a friend of mine who once weilded absolutely awe-inpsiring international responsibility phoned me. She was having trouble with her kids and was frustrated beyond belief. She called me and said, “You always bailed me out when I had problems… What should I do?”
I was like, “Girl, you were in charge of the world, and you can’t handle your kids? Suck it up and get back to diaper detail…”
It’s funny, what seems like such a huge challenge some people navigate with grace, but what seems relatively mundane (personal challenges, relationships, family, kids) is just insurmountable.
I’ve never been skilled at relationships, I am only skilled at things. As a result, I pick my battles accordingly.
After having gone through an extremely difficult time with one of my sons I would say you have to deal with your child’s problem first. Once you’ve got that figured out you can go back to training/competing with no distractions. While I do agree that training provides a “break” from the rest of my world and it’s problems, I never really feel completely focused if I’m dealing with a family/work problem. Moreover, I think we all agree, to some varying degree, that what we do is a little selfish. A lot of time spent on us, often to the detriment of relationships, work, etc. IMHO, our families are more important than this sport. You can always do another triathlon. You’ve only got a limited opportunity to deal with your children and their problems.
What is your faith life like? If I go into it on this forum, it will hi-jack your thread and turn into a discussion better suited for Tibb’s Lavander Room.
Your responses have been wonderful…but I think I should clarify that the Child Issue has been somewhat resolved and my participation at LP is not a contributing factor in the current situation. My participating (or non participation) will not make a difference in the situation…It’s just that I am EXHAUSTED and feeling sorry for myself and my kid…however! I WAS curious as to how people RECOVER from being slammed to pull it together for an IM. Lisa Bently seems to have an incredible knack for getting her head into a Happy Place. I wonder how people do an IM in the midst of a divorce, or after the death of a parent, or when moving or changing jobs…
Sometimes all it takes is like RecordCarbon said; get to the race site a few days early and soak it up… …I feel like it’s a gift to be racing. IM is the patch of blue sky in an otherwise stormy weather forecast!
i was diagnosed with Non Hodkins Lymphoma in January. After treatment, I started preparing for Lake Placid (even completed the NYC Tri this past Sunday). I underwent a CT Scan last Thursday.
Yesterday, I met with my doctor to discuss my results. I have a tumor growing behind my sternum and one in the left atrium of my heart. The doctor said that I can do Lake Placid if I want, that I should be ok, and that the Wednesday afterwards we will begin meeting with Thorasic surgeons and discussing surgery/treatment options.
Needless to say, it hurts. Lake Placid is going to be a very difficult day for us (for everyone) both physically and emotionally. But right now that is a positive in my future, and I have to keep that goal. It is a postive in you and your family’s future, and I think you should too.
It’s after we get to that finish line that we deal with this…but we have to get to that line.
I hope everything is alright with your kid. This sucks for me, but I feel worse for my parents. As Lance Armstrong said ‘give me this a thousand times, but don’t give it to my kids.’
I’m Darcy, #2115…pink cheetah print Elite and jersey…hard to miss! Please look for me at the gatorage swims or elsewhere and say hello…
Your story has given me a huge boost. My daughter’s situation is scary but I have hope and help.
As for everyone else, if you see me crumpled on the side of the road on the run course bawling my eyes out KICK ME and tell me to get back up and get moving!!!
There are 2 different types of “stress” in stressful situations. One is the distraction they cause and the second is that many situations demand time to deal with.
I’ve found that in terms of just dealing with distracting stress, working out is the best medicine for me. If I can get myself out the door, training helps me feel better and gives me time to think through what is going on. Dealing with this type of stress is just a matter of being able to control the spinning in your head and a good workout is great for this. If you are just stressed out about your kid vs having to actively help with his/her problem, working out may be the best medicine.
However, when stressful situations demand time, its a different matter all together. I am not a profesional athlete so as important as training and competing are to me, it is “optional” in the sense that there are things that are much more important such as family and work.
If I was a pro, I would do a competition no matter what was going on in my personal life and it would take death or serious illness of a loved one to miss an important workout.
But, as a hobbyist, I can’t justify being that brutal with my time. This does not necessarily mean skipping all training and the race but these would not be the #1 priorities in a situation where my time was needed elsewhere.
Important VS Urgent sums up how I deal with issues in life. Urgent requires full and immediate attention.
My training is time for me to think, I am in my world on my bike. I sometimes feel like a negotiator at the UN when my son’s are involved. It is hard for me to push myself on these occations, but just to keep going is more important. I feel that I have been lucky balancing my job/life/personal time.
Most of all, never feel that you are a bad parent, just in need of a little more training and experience.
Use it all as fuel and smile…heck for the past number of years I take my meds, get MRI’s, CT’s, IV’s and deal with heath…but…for that week…you cant wipe the smile off my face because I - like so many others are doing something most people cant even imagine…walk to the start line…every thing from the start line forward is just gravy.
sounds good. Being a Philly guy, I love the Elites.
I’ll be going with the Darth Vadar look. Kuota Kalibur with Black disc and Xentis front wheel, both on loan from a friend. I’m sure we’ll find each other at some point. If you see that bike ridden by a guy with blue Cadence gear on, that’s me!
I too may be on the side of the road. Actually, I don’t cry much, but I may lose it coming down the finishing chute. I don’t look forward to the other side of that line. Monday I was worrying about the women pro affecting my race. Now I’m worried about how a doctor is going to cut open my chest. Perspective is a funny thing. Good luck!