The coworker in the cube next to me is a generally hostile person. The entire day she is audibly cursing, slamming her fist on her desk, uttering a string of complaints and running outbursts and commentary. These are not directed at me, but I hear them and it raises my anxiety level and I get really stressed out. My heart is pounding right now due to her latest meltdown.
We are a small office and the way the layout is configured I’m the only employee next to her. If I go to the PTB and ask for a cube reassignment I will have to explain why and it will be readily apparent to her that I am the one who complained. (There’s also no open cube for me to move to so it would be a big hairy deal to bring it up).
I already spend most of the day with headphones on listening to podcasts because of her, but I can still hear her outbursts. I can’t do full noise cancelling headphones due to the culture of the office - I already kind of feel like it is bad form for me to be plugged in as it is.
The coworker in the cube next to me is a generally hostile person. The entire day she is audibly cursing, slamming her fist on her desk, uttering a string of complaints and running outbursts and commentary. These are not directed at me, but I hear them and it raises my anxiety level and I get really stressed out. My heart is pounding right now due to her latest meltdown.
We are a small office and the way the layout is configured I’m the only employee next to her. If I go to the PTB and ask for a cube reassignment I will have to explain why and it will be readily apparent to her that I am the one who complained. (There’s also no open cube for me to move to so it would be a big hairy deal to bring it up).
I already spend most of the day with headphones on listening to podcasts because of her, but I can still hear her outbursts. I can’t do full noise cancelling headphones due to the culture of the office - I already kind of feel like it is bad form for me to be plugged in as it is.
Do I just need to suck it up?
I wouldn’t worry about office culture when you have violent outbursts happening near you. Just tell the appropriate party what you’re doing and why, then make the change.
Either way, don’t put up with that stuff. Raise some hell.
Super-loud non-stop talker in cube facing me today. There are windows with closed blinds over my right shoulder, and facing his left.
He got REALLY loud.
I opened the blinds to let the sun shine in.
He quickly got annoyed and asked me to close the blinds as he could not see his screen.
I suggested to him if he went to a 2-person conf room he could enjoy not being blinded and the rest of us could enjoy not hearing him yelling at his screen.
He moved.
Say something to the loud women w/ whom you share a wall and workspace.
The coworker in the cube next to me is a generally hostile person. The entire day she is audibly cursing, slamming her fist on her desk, uttering a string of complaints and running outbursts and commentary. These are not directed at me, but I hear them and it raises my anxiety level and I get really stressed out. My heart is pounding right now due to her latest meltdown.
We are a small office and the way the layout is configured I’m the only employee next to her. If I go to the PTB and ask for a cube reassignment I will have to explain why and it will be readily apparent to her that I am the one who complained. (There’s also no open cube for me to move to so it would be a big hairy deal to bring it up).
I already spend most of the day with headphones on listening to podcasts because of her, but I can still hear her outbursts. I can’t do full noise cancelling headphones due to the culture of the office - I already kind of feel like it is bad form for me to be plugged in as it is.
I’d mention it to her first right after her latest breakdown. Something along the lines of “Can you tone down your frustrations, I’m working on a complicated issue and I keep getting distracted by your discussions with yourself” or something along those lines.
If she apologizes, its going to last about 2-3 days, 5 tops. If she snaps back, well you weren’t trying to make friends and now you have ammo.
At that point, you go to your/her supervisor and mention that you did address it with the coworker and got nowhere and potentially a hostile snap back.
Before going to the boss or HR, can you have a conversation with her first? Easier if you’re not simply coworkers, and somewhat friendly.
What are the cube layouts like where you work? The old style of high walled cubes gave the illusion of privacy, and thus folks felt free to put calls on speaker etc., and thus noise levels were much more disruptive. I didn’t think these existed anymore. Good riddance.
Newer cube/office layouts have low/no partitions separating workspaces. By being able to see and make eye contact with others, gets rid of this illusion of privacy and folks are more aware and considerate about noise.
I would go in one of two directions:
A. Stand up and say loudly, “Would you please shut the fuck up!â€
B. Go straight to HR/management and ask them to have a word with them.
The problem with saying something to the person first, and then later going to HR, is that then they will know for sure it was you who said something. If you go straight to HR there is at least some plausible deniability it was you.
The coworker in the cube next to me is a generally hostile person. The entire day she is audibly cursing, slamming her fist on her desk, uttering a string of complaints and running outbursts and commentary. These are not directed at me, but I hear them and it raises my anxiety level and I get really stressed out. My heart is pounding right now due to her latest meltdown.
We are a small office and the way the layout is configured I’m the only employee next to her. If I go to the PTB and ask for a cube reassignment I will have to explain why and it will be readily apparent to her that I am the one who complained. (There’s also no open cube for me to move to so it would be a big hairy deal to bring it up).
I already spend most of the day with headphones on listening to podcasts because of her, but I can still hear her outbursts. I can’t do full noise cancelling headphones due to the culture of the office - I already kind of feel like it is bad form for me to be plugged in as it is.
Do I just need to suck it up?
Ugh, I feel your pain. I used to work in a cube farm for years before I found my remote job 7 plus years ago. I once had a co-worker next to me eat sardines in his cubicle. It was awful. So stinky. Everyone complained. I tried to time my lunchtime training runs to avoid it but sometimes he ate the sardines when I was done with my workout. I eventually sent an email to HR and they asked him to stop eating the sardines in his cubicle. We had a lunch room and he ended up eating them there.
I would talk to your manager and/or HR. You shouldn’t have to deal with that. It’s inappropriate.
Not sure if it is something you would desire or work for you, but finding a remote job changed my life for the better. I could never go back to an office. But everyone is different. Maybe a hybrid situation might be another option. Work from home a couple days a week to have some peace. But hopefully your manager and HR will talk to this person.
I would go in one of two directions:
A. Stand up and say loudly, “Would you please shut the fuck up!â€
B. Go straight to HR/management and ask them to have a word with them.
The problem with saying something to the person first, and then later going to HR, is that then they will know for sure it was you who said something. If you go straight to HR there is at least some plausible deniability it was you.
I don’t know why everyone is so against talking. Ask her to stop. If she doesn’t, talk to someone in charge about moving either one of you. Who cares if she knows it’s you?
This exactly. I think Erin will be the first person hostile-worker would think complained given that she’s the closest neighbor. Better to not have the first conversation be w/HR or boss and just do the friendly person/person convo first.
If the hostile person reacts by threatening you (Erin) b/c of this - then that is definitely something to bring up to HR/Management.
Before going to the boss or HR, can you have a conversation with her first? Easier if you’re not simply coworkers, and somewhat friendly.
What are the cube layouts like where you work? The old style of high walled cubes gave the illusion of privacy, and thus folks felt free to put calls on speaker etc., and thus noise levels were much more disruptive. I didn’t think these existed anymore. Good riddance.
Newer cube/office layouts have low/no partitions separating workspaces. By being able to see and make eye contact with others, gets rid of this illusion of privacy and folks are more aware and considerate about noise.
Better, but not as good as actual office space.
We are not friendly, because she is not a friendly person.
I think it would be a very uncomfortable conversation to have - how do I even start? I can’t very well say “Hey, your hositility is stressing me out”.
I would go in one of two directions:
A. Stand up and say loudly, “Would you please shut the fuck up!â€
B. Go straight to HR/management and ask them to have a word with them.
The problem with saying something to the person first, and then later going to HR, is that then they will know for sure it was you who said something. If you go straight to HR there is at least some plausible deniability it was you.
I don’t know why everyone is so against talking. Ask her to stop. If she doesn’t, talk to someone in charge about moving either one of you. Who cares if she knows it’s you?
If the co-worker was sane and level headed, a conversation might be fruitful and clearly the best path in a normal circumstance.
But the co-worker seems to have anger/impulse control issues. And clearly the OP is stressed- perhaps even scared- by her presence/behavior.
Because of that, this seems to be case where HR/the boss is better equipped to handle.
Before going to the boss or HR, can you have a conversation with her first? Easier if you’re not simply coworkers, and somewhat friendly.
What are the cube layouts like where you work? The old style of high walled cubes gave the illusion of privacy, and thus folks felt free to put calls on speaker etc., and thus noise levels were much more disruptive. I didn’t think these existed anymore. Good riddance.
Newer cube/office layouts have low/no partitions separating workspaces. By being able to see and make eye contact with others, gets rid of this illusion of privacy and folks are more aware and considerate about noise.
Better, but not as good as actual office space.
We are not friendly, because she is not a friendly person.
I think it would be a very uncomfortable conversation to have - how do I even start? I can’t very well say “Hey, your hositility is stressing me out”.
Pretend you are on the phone with someone let the MF’s this and MF’s fly along with other hostile phases. Perhaps your cubicle mate will be intimidated keep it down in fear of offending you.
Before going to the boss or HR, can you have a conversation with her first? Easier if you’re not simply coworkers, and somewhat friendly.
What are the cube layouts like where you work? The old style of high walled cubes gave the illusion of privacy, and thus folks felt free to put calls on speaker etc., and thus noise levels were much more disruptive. I didn’t think these existed anymore. Good riddance.
Newer cube/office layouts have low/no partitions separating workspaces. By being able to see and make eye contact with others, gets rid of this illusion of privacy and folks are more aware and considerate about noise.
Better, but not as good as actual office space.
We are not friendly, because she is not a friendly person.
I think it would be a very uncomfortable conversation to have - how do I even start? I can’t very well say “Hey, your hositility is stressing me out”.
Ah ok. If you’re on good terms w/your boss and he/she would have your back, I would bring it up to him/her first instead of HR. A boss will typically be supportive of their team more so than HR. If you have a good relationship.
HR conversations sometimes can have unintended consequences (b/c they’re not there for you, but to protect the company, only). HR could use this to note that you don’t get along w/others… when the craziness isn’t you, but the other person.
Managed a former co-worker a few years ago, the most miserable and negative person I’ve ever encountered in my career. He would rant almost constantly about customers, vendors and co-workers on other teams - everyone was either stupid or incompetent or out to get him - until one day I was stressed about something, decided I’d had enough, stepped out of my office a couple of cubes away from him and asked him “Do you ever stop fucking whining???” in front of everyone.
Probably not an HR-approved tactic but at that point we were at a smaller company and HR was basically one office admin with whom I was pretty friendly, so it wouldn’t have led anywhere consequential if he had complained.
It did work to a degree, although he never fully stopped being a negative, whiny fuckstick.
