Can’t believe no one posted this. So this lunatic works in a meat processing plant, loves to eat cow eyeballs. They’re not allowed to take home scraps so he hides them in his anal cavity. Get’s pulled over, an eyeball falls out his pants leg. Has 30 eyeballs stuffed up his ass, admits he’s stolen thousands over the past few years.
I really wish I was making this up.
I hope they call him brown eye tilbott.
I got nothing…
Wait, what??? Why??? I’m sure all eyeballs taste the same, cant he just pluck them out of a fish head.
He gave the cops the stinkeye
.
30? I reckon that’ll see him through the week
mad-eye moooody
.
Gives new meaning to the term…brown eye.
Wouldn’t they taste a little, um, different after being up there?
That’s a cool cucumber right there. Most people pucker up when pulled over.
Okay, I (kinda) accept the fact that this guy needs to use extreme measures to steal from the company and he used his anus. But why in the world would you keep them up there for the duration of the trip? Pull over and let them slide out into a cooler or something. See what I mean?
Rectum…hell it nearly killed him?
Now I know where the term moony eyed came from.
Gives new meaning to the term…brown eye.
udderly disgusting
.
Does anybody else get the sense that even if the company let employees take waste meat, this guy would still smuggle the eyeballs in his ass?
How firm are cow eyeballs? I mean how do you get 30 of them up there without rupturing the eyeball?
That is some weapons grade lunacy.
Forget about rupturing the eyeball, what about rupturing his frggin anus!
Perhaps that’s part of the plan–pop a couple and allow the aqueous humor to lube the path so the rest can slide right in. It gives new meaning to having eyes in the back of your head.
I’m perplexed about how these went right from the processing floor into his ass. Where were they in between that time? Surely he wasn’t putting them in his ass while on the processing floor; they had to go in a pocket or something during that time until he had a chance to pull his pants down somewhere he wouldn’t be seen. I can’t fathom why they couldn’t have stayed where he first had them or in a lunch box. Surely a meat processing plant isn’t frisking its employees at the end of their shift.
How firm are cow eyeballs? I mean how do you get 30 of them up there without rupturing the eyeball?
That is some weapons grade lunacy.
Forget about rupturing the eyeball, what about rupturing his frggin anus!
Nah, his anus will be alright as long as he keeps an eye on it.
Usually 12-14 hours before the aqueous humor begins to leak out - depending on temperature. Don’t ask how I know.