The content would be something like this:
Dear WTC,
With IM distance PR of 10:58 I am too slow to KQ. Since the Ironman Hawaii 2015 will be on my birthday, could you please give me a birthday slot? Hey, I know that lots of people on ST will try to rip me apart for even trying (waaaa, you are trying to jump the line, waaaaa I trained for years and did not KQ, waaaaa, I did sub 9 and didn’t make it…) but what the hack, it is not my fault that they weren’t born on that special day and I was. It is once in a lifetime opportunity, or at least once every who knows how many years so why not? It is sort of like a lottery after all, except that the number (the b-date) can’t be changed and the Kona date is on my b-day not very often.
So there you go, elaborate on this, help me go to Kona and get an ultimate b-day gift.
19 million people on this planet have the same birthday as you, statistically speaking. Around 800,000 Americans included. I don’t know how many of them want to go to Kona, but why would they just “give” it to you in particular? Now, if you want to ask them to start an annual birthday lottery for a single slot, that might be interesting.
Pretty sure they will reply allowing you to race Kona. I would purchase airfare now.
An annual slowtwitch-members lottery would probably be better to take some heat off Andrew and the WTC in here…
Another great contribution to the slowtwitch forum…
cost you ink and paper to try.
I wouldn’t hold my breath for too long, however.
I hope your birthday IS special - I’d think a special day shouldn’t be spent in the heat of kona doing SBR, maybe watch it on some kinda feed with a cold beer in hand.
You need to add stuff:
You won’t pee in T2. (look out first aid station!!!)
You will fund everything through paymyrace.com
You will purchase two Ironman branded mattresses and some Ironman cologne (it will drive your training buddies wild!)
You have never been convicted of hitting your wife
You have never owned a gorilla costume
You would prefer to pay an additional Active.com fee
Well hell, if this works, I have an even better one.
Kona 2015 will be on my SON’S birthday. He’s an adorable, bright, clever 9 year old (will be then) who really ought to be in movies. He loves triathlon, and meeting Macca was a highlight of his young life. His Dad is one of those 16+ hour finishers (hopefully) who is trying to get healthy through endurance sports. He used to weight about 375.
Watching his Dad cross the line at Kona on his birthday, what more amazing gift could this child get?
Dude - my story beats yours by a country mile. I may even pony up the $50 for the lottery. Of course I will have to win an actual lottery soon too, because with a family trip to Disney next year, flying 4 of us to Hawaii isn’t in the cards. Hmmm…kickstarter begging?
Pretty sure they will reply allowing you to race Kona. I would purchase airfare now.
He needs to start a kick starter campaign first and have the forum members pay for his airfare.
His seat is too high…they’ll never give him a slot…
wow, you don’t just want a free ride to Kona, you also want somebody else to write the letter asking done for you. That’s a special kind of lazy.
Try harder.
Right… and while we are at it can you guys help write a letter to Comcast asking for some customer service and speed improvements on my connection, and Bank of America asking pretty please they stop charging all those fees, and United asking pretty not to charge $200 for a bike case? 
You’re aiming too low. Ask for a free entry to Kona as your gift from Ironman.
The content would be something like this:
Dear WTC,
With IM distance PR of 10:58 I am too slow to KQ. Since the Ironman Hawaii 2015 will be on my birthday, could you please give me a birthday slot? Hey, I know that lots of people on ST will try to rip me apart for even trying (waaaa, you are trying to jump the line, waaaaa I trained for years and did not KQ, waaaaa, I did sub 9 and didn’t make it…) but what the hack, it is not my fault that they weren’t born on that special day and I was. It is once in a lifetime opportunity, or at least once every who knows how many years so why not? It is sort of like a lottery after all, except that the number (the b-date) can’t be changed and the Kona date is on my b-day not very often.
So there you go, elaborate on this, help me go to Kona and get an ultimate b-day gift.
It’s worth a try but the problem you have is that with 2000 (sry I don’t know the real number) competing. Very roughly seapk 2000/365 = 5.48 people will have birthdays on the day (ok assuming equal distribution across the day which I’m sure isn’t true). However, it means there is quite a high chance of an qualified athlete having a birthday on race day so you aren’t offering them anything they don’t already have.
Here’s where these things go at the WTC:
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I give the WTC a lot of shit, but man… having to deal with whingy age group triathletes… I wonder if WTC employees get hazard pay.
I’ve pasted the letter that I sent to the NBA in 2011 asking them for a super extra exception just for me. I’m still waiting for a reply but you can go ahead and copy and paste in to Word and use it as a template for your letter:
Dear NBA,
At a height of 6’-1" I managed to dunk a basketball…in high school…once. It was always my dream growing up to play in the NBA finals, game 7, and hitting a game winner like Jordan. Having grown up, I now posses almost no recognizable talent in basketball and I realize that life is a bitch. My dreams have not come true. I am overweight and underpaid. I drive a late model Chevy Vega and every day I sit in rush hour traffic wasting my life commuting to my dead-end job. I look in the rear-view mirror of my Chevrolet and see my male-pattern baldness advancing at an alarming rate. I mean, Jesus, when I stand naked in the shower and look down, I can’t even see the tip of…well, nevermind, you get the picture. Back to the point.
So anyway NBA, you see I had hoped that you could make a super-duper extra special exception for me and let me play in the NBA playoffs this year. You see, the playoffs will be around my birthday. Well, not specifically the day of my birth, but I do have a birthday coming up during the 2012 calendar year. Any team could do really, at a league minimum contract. Even the 7th seed coming out of the Eastern Conference would be fine with me. It’s just you know, I thought maybe you could make an extra special exception just for me on my birthday year in 2012. My mother always told me that I was special and I thought that maybe you would see that in me too. Well thanks, NBA.
Sincerely,
Average White Guy
My family tried something similar a few years back. We had 9 family members that wanted to get into Florida. They were no help. 8 members of the family got in on, but 1 had to pay up for a foundation spot and 1 member didn’t get in.
Sure, but you have to do zero training for it and then jump up and down like a gorilla at the finish line and let everyone know you didn’t give a f**k.
The content would be something like this:
Dear WTC,
With IM distance PR of 10:58 I am too slow to KQ. Since the Ironman Hawaii 2015 will be on my birthday, could you please give me a birthday slot? Hey, I know that lots of people on ST will try to rip me apart for even trying (waaaa, you are trying to jump the line, waaaaa I trained for years and did not KQ, waaaaa, I did sub 9 and didn’t make it…) but what the hack, it is not my fault that they weren’t born on that special day and I was. It is once in a lifetime opportunity, or at least once every who knows how many years so why not? It is sort of like a lottery after all, except that the number (the b-date) can’t be changed and the Kona date is on my b-day not very often.
So there you go, elaborate on this, help me go to Kona and get an ultimate b-day gift.
Your ultimate birthday present is to race in Kona?
Dude, you have small dreams…
.
I could see them honoring this request if you were eligible for legacy consideration. Maybe the next time your special day coincides with the race, you will have completed the 12 events.