Help! I'm retarded and it hurts!

So, last night I was pissed off that I got off work late and had no more daylight to go biking in and I decided to exact my revenge today. On tap: Take the day off for a 160 mile ride to a “nearby” resort town. The weather here in the midwest has been just ridiculously good lately so I figured I should make the most of things. So anyway, I load up the steed with water bottles, gels, bananas, etc. to the hilt and hit the road.

At my turnaround I stop for a nutricious meal of a 14 oz. burrito appropriately called “The Bomb” (that I think the Baron from The Adventures of Gordo and Clas ate too when they hit up a quickie mart on a ride through the desert…hey, if it’s good enough for the Baron, then it’s good enough for me) and two red bulls. Maybe the carbonation wasn’t the wisest of choices but I survived. I felt a little depleted of salt around mile 105-110 so i stopped for some salt and water and felt “ok” to go on after a little. But, around mile 95 is where “the pain” set in.

I was having some GI issues from all the crap I put in me but I got that to settle after washing the system out with water but what I was really having an issue with was taking deep breaths. You know…the “breath from the belly” deep inhalations. I don’t need to breath this way to ride comfortably but every so often I would and I felt like something was preventing me from doing so or making me want to cough after doing so. I got home, showered, napped, and now it’s better but still there just a little. I think it will go away but I was just curious as to know what’s going on. Anyone else experience this? FYI, I was down in the aerobars for about 85% of the ride. Thanks for the insight and sorry for the long winded explanation.

P.S. I don’t need any advice on a) what a retarded idea this was and b) how wack my nutrition plan is (I was hungry, dammit!).

Hmmmm… Gi problems… pain… carbonation… still bothering you a little aye? … I’d say you’ve got about three hours to live, just enough time for you to box up your bike, wheels, and girlfriend and mail them somewhere…How about a gopher hole?

-The next greatest signature…when I feel like it…

I would, but I don’t think you want a Yaqui Mariola DL (in a sexy orange, mind you) w/ 9-spd DA, and Velocity Deep rims. And just in case, when you say girlfriend, you mean my real one or the bike? I often confuse the two considering how much time I spend stroking her (pedals).

I’m willing to wager your girlfriend, maybe even the real one, on the fact you got a bit of reflux from all that you ingested.