So, I was just on the HN website about to order up on some goods and I saw these. They may have been out for a while and this might be old news. If so, then screw me.
I use the regular Perpetuem and I really enjoy it, but these seem to be retarded. When I saw them I got secretly excited, but after I looked at them I got really sad. They are 100 cal. chews and HN is trying to pull the same deal on these as they do with the Endurolytes. 200 pills an hour. The website says that if you weight over 190lbs then you need to take in 4-5 tablets per hour. They also claim that they are ideal for “all long duration athletic endeavors” and especially the running portion of a HIM or IM. Lets say that you weight 215(and I do, but I am 6’5" before you gasp) and it takes you around 4.5(eh…5) hours to complete the run on IM then you need to tote around 18-22 of these things with you on the course. I guess I would need to figure out how to run faster or lose weight Throw the bike in there, I would need 30 more of these things. Sounds like a lot of work. At 40.00 for a bottle of 90, can you imagine how expensive that would get if you used these things while training?
I cannot wait to see the guy showing up to a race all “Hammer’d Out” with 400 pills/chews and 15 get packs strapped to his Cervelo and body like grenades. Its gonna happen!
How does this make any sense?
Is HN getting a little too gimicky with this deal or am I just being a hater? I like SOME of their products, but these seem like another matketing ploy on the un-informed endurance athlete and it pisses me right off.
I still ordered my normal stuff from them so, I guess I am not too upset by it.
I am done with my mindless and pointless rant.
Carry on.
I cannot wait to see the guy showing up to a race all “Hammer’d Out” with 400 pills/chews and 15 get packs strapped to his Cervelo and body like grenades.
All I can think of is MC Hammer pants billowing out from all those pills/chews
.
The serving size is actually 3 chews=100cals. So they are only 33 cals each. I think I burn 33 cals just trying to eat the damn things. When I heard they were coming out with them I got all excited thinking they were going to be a gummy chew, but no luck. Hopefully they will come out with a gummy chew sooner than later, as I enjoy the GU Chomps and Honey Stinger Organic Chews, but I sure do like Hammer’s military discount and customer service a lot!
I agree with the chalky comment, I have heard some people say they like them but I am not a fan of the solids…I can’t bash Hammer for anything else though, they are top notch and I enjoy all their other products!
My training partner uses them and has give me them a couple times. Granted I was on the edge of a bonk and they did help, but they are pretty nasty. She’s obviously a lot more tough than I am if she can gnaw on those things regularly. Once they started to dissolve they stuck in my molars for hours of chalky enjoyment.
If you are out there for 5hrs on the marathon of an Ironman you might be better off just using all the stuff they have at the aid stations.People spend waaaaaaaaaay too much money on all this “special” nutrition for races and training when most of the time cheap,real food will do.
From Gu’s literature:
In a controlled study of 5 self-described “borderline competitive” triathletes, the International Institute for Transdermal Research found that applying DermaCharge just once during a race improved the athletes’ power output by 1.21 Jigawatts. And the product has been certified by Informed-Choices to be free of Iocane powder, the controversial, odorless, tasteless powder found to adversely affect endurance performance.
I can’t figure out if Gu is joking or not. 1.21 Jigawatts? Assuming they’re talking about gigawatts, or watts x 10^9, that’s a ridiculous assertion, which is hilarious. Either someone in marketing has a sense of humor, or someone in marketing attended marketing school and didn’t learn their engineering prefixes. Either way I love it. I will not buy this product because if I’m going hard enough to need an energy boost you better bet I’m sweating too, so I would not assimilate any of it. Also, my stomach is indestructible, so no need to watch what I take in. Also, the only other reference to Iocane powder I’ve heard is in the movie Princess Bride (comedy, not a chick flick). Doubly odd.
From Gu’s literature:
In a controlled study of 5 self-described “borderline competitive” triathletes, the International Institute for Transdermal Research found that applying DermaCharge just once during a race improved the athletes’ power output by 1.21 Jigawatts. And the product has been certified by Informed-Choices to be free of Iocane powder, the controversial, odorless, tasteless powder found to adversely affect endurance performance.
I can’t figure out if Gu is joking or not. 1.21 Jigawatts? Assuming they’re talking about gigawatts, or watts x 10^9, that’s a ridiculous assertion, which is hilarious. Either someone in marketing has a sense of humor, or someone in marketing attended marketing school and didn’t learn their engineering prefixes. Either way I love it. I will not buy this product because if I’m going hard enough to need an energy boost you better bet I’m sweating too, so I would not assimilate any of it. Also, my stomach is indestructible, so no need to watch what I take in. Also, the only other reference to Iocane powder I’ve heard is in the movie Princess Bride (comedy, not a chick flick). Doubly odd.
I think the only error Gu made was either overestimating the level of intelligence of their audience or underestimating their sense of humor.
From Gu’s literature:
Quote:
In a controlled study of 5 self-described “borderline competitive” triathletes, the International Institute for Transdermal Research found that applying DermaCharge just once during a race improved the athletes’ power output by 1.21 Jigawatts. And the product has been certified by Informed-Choices to be free of Iocane powder, the controversial, odorless, tasteless powder found to adversely affect endurance performance. I can’t figure out if Gu is joking or not. 1.21 Jigawatts? Assuming they’re talking about gigawatts, or watts x 10^9, that’s a ridiculous assertion, which is hilarious. Either someone in marketing has a sense of humor, or someone in marketing attended marketing school and didn’t learn their engineering prefixes. Either way I love it. I will not buy this product because if I’m going hard enough to need an energy boost you better bet I’m sweating too, so I would not assimilate any of it. Also, my stomach is indestructible, so no need to watch what I take in. Also, the only other reference to Iocane powder I’ve heard is in the movie Princess Bride (comedy, not a chick flick). Doubly odd.
Is any comment even necessary? I am taking no advice from ZackC. You might want to change your handle.
Either someone in marketing has a sense of humor, or someone in marketing attended marketing school and didn’t learn their engineering prefixes. Either way I love it.
Haha hey SourPuss, I guess I’ve grown up to the point where my ego doesn’t require me to be the first one to expose a brilliant April Fools joke. It’s harder to pick up on subtleties over teh interwebz, so I’ll forgive you, but I obviously recognized this was a joke and continued to bait the trap for other unsuspecting ST’ers.