I tend to agree. My family generally comes to Ironman races, and we make a vacation of the trip and they typically see me only once or twice on the course typically during the bike. I make it a point to stop, get off my bike and give them all a hug (good postive energy) and then move on. On the run, anything can happen and I don’t want them waiting around all day. They never come to any of my local half Ironman events, but like you, might show up if I race an Olympic or sprint tri. I do agree with you that it is somewhat selfish, but I think families need to see what the event is all about to truly understand our drive to train for these things. They also get to exchange stories with other families and realize that they are not going insane, but are actually very accomodating, tolerant people ! Standing around in the sun for 12 hours+ with toddlers etc in strollers on the otherhand is a bit of overkill.
You need to choose IM’s that are in a good place for tourists. That way they can go to the vineyards or swim at the beach or something while you’re racing.
Another thing is to get your accom close to the finish line. That way they can come and go as they please.
My next one is IMWA. There’ll be plenty to do for the family.
And if you’re doing IM, you’re selfish. There’s no way around it, I’ve tried.
I ran them all off years ago, just in case.
You need to choose IM’s that are in a good place for tourists. That way they can go to the vineyards or swim at the beach or something while you’re racing.
Another thing is to get your accom close to the finish line. That way they can come and go as they please.
My next one is IMWA. There’ll be plenty to do for the family.
And if you’re doing IM, you’re selfish. There’s no way around it, I’ve tried.
Worried about your family suffering through the 9-16 hours of the race? What about the months or years of training?!
Well, that’s exactly what I mean.
I do about 80% of my training before work now for that very reason. 6am is a sleep in for me now!
First and foremost, if they can’t be there I won’t even consider doing the race. It is vital for me to see them there in part I am doing the race for them and they don’t want me to let them down.
Having said that, yes, it is a very long (not boring) day for them plus at the end my wife has to help me too because I am shelled.
It helps if the hotel is close to the transition area that way they can take a break between sightings. IMC was perfect for this that way the kid was able to take a nap at the hotel when I was out on the bike. Also, after the race its vacation time COMPLETELY dedicated to what they want to do and see. When I was at IMC 2 weeks ago we spent 3 days in Vancouver after the race sightseeing, eating out etc, we had a great time.
There’s nothing like starting to run no matter how much it hurts (after walking) just so your kid can see his dad run. Hearing “Go Daddy” is one of the best things you can hear in an Ironman. And there’s nothing quite like having your wife running up a climb next to you screaming your name as you suffer…And as she takes out other spectators along the way.
My son will be 6 in November - he’s watched IMWI for the last 3 years (wife did it last 2 years) and loved every minute of it. Making signs at the Janus station, Timex giveaways, All-you-can-eat Energice, looking at IMWI kids stuff - I think there’s plenty to do for kids at an IM. Heck, Verona has a full-on carnival with rides on race day for kids.
My wife and I agree that watching the race is in a lot of ways harder than racing - as soon as the cannon goes off, the athlete’s stress goes away. The family’s at that point just begins 
Great post. I hear what you are saying.
My ex-wife saw me race train/race through 10+ years of triathlons including 9 IM races. I tried as best as I could to be as accomodating as possible in the training run-up and then the races themselves, particularly the IM races because they typically involved travel. We both liked to travel so we made a vacation of it trying to see and do as much as possible in the areas where the races where. My son was born in 1997 and that’s when I decided to retire. I was incredibly inspired to see my ex-wife holding my then one month son up for me to see him from the crowds along the run course. I had a great race that day, and decided to call it quites after that.
Seven years later, and I am on the other side of the fence. Now, my girlfriend is the competitor and I am the supporter. She is one of the top ranked age-groupers in our country and takes her racing very seriously. My now seven year-old son comes to many races with us. Race day for a 1/2 IM or IM can be long, but we try and break the day up into chunks and do some other things while my girlfriend is racing. If we can, my son and I get out on the run course on bikes and cheer her on. I’ll ride with my son on a Trail-a-bike. He loves this - and so do many of the competitors as we will stop in the middle of no-where and cheer lot’s of people on. Last year at IM Canada, we hit the wave-pool and water slide park for a few hours while the bike was going on, then went to the beach for a bit. We saw her at several points on the run then headed to the finish-line to see her finish. Fortunately, she’s fast and an IM day does not extend into the evening or night.
Since when did the kids have a say over things like this? When I was growing up I would say things like “I don’t want to go to Grandma’s”. My parents response would always be the same, “sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to do.” Considering everything that it takes to raise a kid, I don’t think it is that much to expect from them. How about those 15 hour days of standing in line at Six Flaggs? Is that something that I should enjoy? Now a days everything is a sacrifice for the wife and kids. I get sick of that. My wife and kids will be cheering the entire Ironman and they will not complain. They had better hope that I don’t take up Ultra Ironmans!
I think Tibbs offers a healthy dose of reality. While the family supports you and will come along and cheer, there are many other things that they would ‘rather be doing’ and watching spongebob is likely higher on the list for my 8 year old than watching a triathlon
Agreed. Unless the destination is desirable for a vacation, in which case you pre-order room service breakfast. Leave a stack of spending money on the dresser as you tip toe out the door. Maybe you will see them at the finish line.
Amstel, I hear you!
I have yet to do an Ironman, but in the few sprints I’ve done, I’ve forced my teenagers to attend at least one. I cannot tell you the countless hours I’ve spent at football games, cheer competitions, basketball, softball, music recitals, plays, fundraising, concession stands…the least they can do is support their mom.
Of course, mine are older (now 20 &17), I might have different thoughts if they were younger.
When I was part of the 0-5 age group, I got hauled to several seasons of Dad’s softball games. I remember nothing of the games themselves, but dang, it was a chance to visit a ton of cool playgrounds near different softball fields.
I’m very glad Sherpa Ben wants to go to races with me. (Though I’m a sprints kind of person, not the long stuff) There have been a couple times where I wasn’t really in a condition to safely drive myself home afterwards. I make sure he has snacks, something to drink, and reading material, and sometimes he’ll wander back to the car for a nap while I’m on the bike course. I’ve told him he doesn’t have to come, but he says he wants to, and I really appreciate that.
I cannot imagine making my husband hang out all day for an IM. he was really a champ to hang out for the half I did! I know he was bored to death, and also 2 of my friends showed up–so they were all bored together and I felt badly.
he told me that one is all he could do in a year, and I don’t blame him.
If I did an IM, I would expect that he would be with me at the start, and then go on about his business all day and see me at the end. to expect someone to hang out like that is ridiculous–let alone little kids, etc. as for the week in advance, sure there are things that the athlete would need to do, but hell, it’s not like every waking second needs to be spent on tri.
if it were my husband doing it, I would find some things to do while he was busy doing preparations. and at the same time, expect him to be a little sidetracked or whatever. it’s only natural.
again though, if my husband couldn’t escape to somewhere else on race day, then I would have a hard time with him going. I’m thinking about Lake Placid. Heck, there’s a whole little town where he could eat, go ice skating, get drunk and watch sports, or do whatever he wanted basically. If the race were not a situation like that I wouldn’t do it, period, or wouldn’t expect him to be there. Let’s face it, there’s no need to be selfish about it., just my opinion.
kittycat
“But Mr. Tibbs, but Mr. Tibbs my wife says she wants to cheer me on.”
No she doesn’t. Demand she stay at home so she won’t feel like a bad person.
“But Mr. Tibbs, but Mr. Tibbs I need thier support.”
No you don’t. Your kids would rather watch Sponge Bob with a big bowl of cereal then watch you in your creepy Speedo run around with other men in creepy Speedos.
Tibbs, once again I’m laughing…I love you, you evil genuis.
Well, I think that the formula is simple, although the application can difficult. You simply have to care more about them than yourself during training and the race. So often see see the well intended mistake of becoming so self-absorbed that you alienate the family and don’t do your best either b/c the energy is not positive.
I truly care for my wife and my kids more than myself (probably good reason:-)). So, I cut my bike training short so my wife can make her favorite aerobic class, etc, etc, etc. Then, the return is that she cares more for me which results in her being excited for IM day, doesn’t get tired of my training, and is 100% supportive. The bonus is that I even end up doing better because all of life is positive.
For example, the key for IM isn’t doing as much training as possible, or following someone else’s program, and so on…The key is to do optimal training within the boundaries in your life and keeping the priorities in order. Then, I believe you have the “key” that opens the Ironman “door” instead of hitting the “wall” of frustration and dissatisfaction.
Best wishes,
Tibbs is right. Just because you are doing this sport does not mean the whole family has to be dragged into it against their will. Your family should have to beg for the oppotunity to watch a tri. If they don’t ask 10 times and start making their own arrangements to be there after you say no 10 times, they don’t really want to go.
However, on a limited basis, and if everything goes right and everyone actually wants to be there it can be fun for everyone. I did a 1/2 IM this summer that started and ended on a beautiful beach. The weather was perfect and my kids played on the beach all morning but they did leave the water and walk the 200 yds to see me in the transitions and at the finish. We made a vacation out of it. For them, the spectating part entailed about 10 minutes of a 5 day vacation and they actually seemed pretty into seeing me do my thing. I enjoyed their reaction but I never would force them to watch me. I’m a big boy and I can do this stuff on my own.
My advice, if the family comes, do not insist they be at any one spot during the race. If you see each other great if not, no big deal. And, make sure there is something else for them to do during the day. Don’t feel bad if they end up missing T2 because they were at the mall.
Finally, I think a family very well might be up for seeing you do a once in a lifetime race like an IM. I was surprised at how much my family was into watching me do my 1/2 which was my big goal for the past year. On the other hand, they probably do not want to get up early and waste a day just to see you finish your 5th sprint tri of the season.
Wow…either I am a total freak, or I just really enjoy all aspects of this sport, including spectating when I’m not racing.
I’ve done 2 IM’s and spectated at 1; done 4 or 5 1/2 IM’s and spectated at at least 3. Maybe it’s different for an athlete spectating (in some ways) because I would generally be at a race where I know lots of folks and can cheer on more than one athlete. I also study the course and transition area much as I would for pre-race prep if I were competing, so I can scout out the best places to watch, and optimize seeing a certain athlete. Planning for spectating does take some effort, as I learned when I forgot basic things like a blanket and cooler when I went to watch a 1/2 IM recently. But it can be loads of fun. I like cheering, and for some athletes, every little bit helps. Another hint is to take a pair of binoculars to help spot your athlete.
On the downside…I can see how it could be hard as an athlete to be watching a race and not racing. Some people want to be in the thick of things (I have at least one friend like that). Also, if you don’t know more than your one particular athlete, either you have to be ready to meet people and strike up some conversations, or it’s going to be a lonely day out there waiting for that one guy to bike/run by. As for kids…I can’t speak to that, but definitely have some plans for what you’re going to do during a 6 hour bike (eat, nap, play on the beach, etc). Guess I’m glad to have lots of triathlete friends at all ability levels, so there is always someone coming and going…
On the money as usual. My wife insisted on coming to my first IM because she felt obligated to offer her support. But we both acknowledge that it is no fun for her to be there, and ‘babysitting’ her(trying to keep her company, entertain her, take her out) in the days approaching the race just make it more difficult for me.
I leave her at home because I love her.
I go down on Tuesday and the girlfriend flys in the day before to avoid me pre-race. She’s good about the race and can entertain herself and talk to new people, etc… Then we do a week of vacation afterwards.
We’re going to the Mexico Half and I didn’t know if she could make it for the race, and she changed her schedule saying “it would be stupid to miss the race”. Then we’re doing a week of margaritas on the beach!
Haven’t brought my daughter yet, but she’s only 2.6
If they need to be entertained, have them volunteer to be involved in the race, and not just watching for about 3 minutes of an entire day.