Having watched both of my parents die in not great lingering ways- sometimes I get super negative about aging.
Anyone else? How do you get more positive about it?
Having watched both of my parents die in not great lingering ways- sometimes I get super negative about aging.
Anyone else? How do you get more positive about it?
Only every day. Sucks because in my mind I am not old, but my body reminds me I turn 60 in 27 days.
Yup.
Some of my coping mechanisms are comparative/negative - I’m doing ‘better’ (define that as you like) than many of my age peers.
Some are just willful ignorance. Try not to think about it too much, it’s better than the alternative for most of the ride.
And some of it is a completely indefensible belief that when my time comes, it will be swift. Wishful thinking. I had one parent die fast and another deteriorate over several decades. Both paradigms were tough for the left-behind of us. But I know which one I want for myself.
Yup.
Some of my coping mechanisms are comparative/negative - I’m doing ‘better’ (define that as you like) than many of my age peers.
Some are just willful ignorance. Try not to think about it too much, it’s better than the alternative for most of the ride.
And some of it is a completely indefensible belief that when my time comes, it will be swift. Wishful thinking. I had one parent die fast and another deteriorate over several decades. Both paradigms were tough for the left-behind of us. But I know which one I want for myself.
Put me down in the “get it over with quickly” category.
Having watched both of my parents die in not great lingering ways- sometimes I get super negative about aging.
Anyone else? How do you get more positive about it?
My father died of Alzheimer’s/Dementia and my mother had brain cancer. Both died when they were 10 years older than I am now.
20 years ago I would run 5 miles after work. Now I run 3.5. My wife pointed out that I’m still running for the same amount of time, which is depressing in itself.
My wife pointed out that I’m still running for the same amount of time, which is depressing in itself.
Savage unintentional slam!
(assuming it was unintentional)
Aging is no picnic, and especially for people for whom athletic stuff is important to their daily enjoyment. I am not sure there is any good way to get positive about aging — unless maybe you believe in some afterlife — and the best you can do is enjoy the present.
I definitely feel it creeping, though the more attention I give it the more I realize it isn’t age itself that bothers me, but the feeling that there isn’t much left ahead to look forward to, like the future is clear, predictable, and inevitable—and that’s assuming all goes to plan, setting aside disease, injury, financial catastrophe, etc. It’s a strange thing because life is challenging, but overall very good for me and my family on most days. Maybe it’s just the downside of the hill gaining momentum rather than the challenge and promise of the climb up the front side?
I don’t worry about what old age will be like. My wife and I both work in critical care medicine and under no circumstance will we torture or allow the other to suffer needlessly. It will be quick and painless when the time comes, at least for the first of us to go, if, as I said, things go according to plan.
But as the saying goes, the only true path in life is the one behind you, so I don’t get too hung up on the idea of knowing what the future will bring.
I It will be quick and painless when the time comes, at least for the first of us to go, if, as I said, things go according to plan.
This sounds fairly ominous. Not sure I want to know what the “plan” is.
I kid of course. I always told my kids that after they were off the payroll (probably never) i planned to take up squirrel suit jumping. That would not be a bad way to go.
My father died of Alzheimer’s/Dementia and my mother had brain cancer. Both died when they were 10 years older than I am now.
My dad died of throat cancer when he was 9 years older than I am now, 20 years ago.
I’m only 45 though.
Mom’s about to turn 70 and, besides beast cancer 24 years ago, is going strong.
Aging is no picnic, and especially for people for whom athletic stuff is important to their daily enjoyment. I am not sure there is any good way to get positive about aging — unless maybe you believe in some afterlife — and the best you can do is enjoy the present.
I’m only 53 and very frustrated with my physical failings these days. A nation a people who won’t get off their asses to workout and yet I can’t seem to do it without constant niggling injuries, and aches and pains.
Getting old ain’t for sissies, that is for damn sure. I don’t worry about it much. I just am thankful for every spin of the earth and trip around the sun I get. Mine has been a heck of a fun ride.
I guess what bothers me the most about this growing old stuff is diminished abilities. One day I figured out that I have about a 1 inch vertical leap. What happened to the rest of the inches? This year I figured out it is hard to jump on and off my cross bike. What happened? I am spending way more time on agility drills at the gym than I used to and find myself hanging on to some skills and losing others.
I really have a need for speed. I used to pass people on runs and rides all the time and now I make others look fast. What the hey? But the air goes in and out and the blood goes roundy round. So far so good.
I think the most important thing is to keep going no mater how slow it works out to be. Being in the over 70 crowd is a privilege folks. Several of my friends were not lucky enough to make it that far. Life is too short to be depressed about how lucky you are to have lived as long as you have…
Hang in there folks.
Having watched both of my parents die in not great lingering ways- sometimes I get super negative about aging.
Anyone else? How do you get more positive about it?
What are you crazy?!
This is freakin’ great! I’m 73 and I’ve never had such a great time. I still run races. Old age group keeps things competitive. I started playing guitar at 66 and took singing lessons at 67 and I now play with 3 or 4 jam groups every month.
We go back and forth at our whim between the house Upstate and the house on Long Island. I’ve got great health insurance with Medicare and great doctors on Long Island to take care of me.
No pressure to do anything except what I feel like doing.
Viagra, heck life is freakin’ great!!!
Having watched both of my parents die in not great lingering ways- sometimes I get super negative about aging.
Anyone else? How do you get more positive about it?
What are you crazy?!
This is freakin’ great! I’m 73 and I’ve never had such a great time. I still run races. Old age group keeps things competitive. I started playing guitar at 66 and took singing lessons at 67 and I now play with 3 or 4 jam groups every month.
We go back and forth at our whim between the house Upstate and the house on Long Island. I’ve got great health insurance with Medicare and great doctors on Long Island to take care of me.
No pressure to do anything except what I feel like doing.
Viagra, heck life is freakin’ great!!!
You got that right, just turned 70 and I postponed getting old . . . last Fall walked from town to town in both Britain and Italy, this year looking to walk in Spain again.
Also took up guitar - jazz guitar - big mistake. No Viagra yet!
Depressed no? Resigned to the inevibility of decline and entropy - yes. But it’s inevitable and common to all, if we are lucky. I try not to scream into the abyss too frequently so I don’t focus on it.
I turned 50 last month and my dad died 5 days prior to my birthday. It felt like a Tyson punch to the face of my own mortality. I’ve always been at ease with my own death; not at all with my father’s and it made me face the possibility of my daughter’s or my wife’s or, most terrifying of all, my grandkids. I try to practice memento mori, and I have it tattooed on my body as a permanent reminder. Live now - tomorrow isn’t promised.
I don’t believe in an afterlife. This is it; this is all we get.
http://modernstoicism.com/...oic-by-alison-mccone
“remember that you must die”
Aging beats the alternative.
Wow, so much negative here.
56 Just retired. Best shape I have been in for at least 10yrs mostly due to hormone changes from brain tumor.
Financial plan is I die 10yrs older than my dad did. He past a few years ago so its locked in at 94. I got nearly 40yrs of living left to do.
I tell people I am very healthy, then eventually comes around to 2 rounds of cancer, and none cancer brain tumor. Yeah picture of health.
I don’t feel old, oh wait I am not only 56. So I guess in 30yrs I will pull this thread up and tell you if I got depressed when I started to get old. But for now.
Long ways to go before I get old. A bus could hit me tomorrow, why worry about what 30yrs out looks (you know when I get old)
Now GET OFF MY LAWN, you damn kids.
I just turned 40, and this is hitting me hard. I feel young. But every now and then I meet someone who I feel is 10-15 years older than me based on their looks, and it turns out they’re my age. Then I look in the mirror and see the lines on my face, a bit of salt and pepper in my stubble etc. weird, like hairs popping out of my shoulder or something. It is pretty depressing to realize you’re at the point in life where you’re kind of on the start of the long, downhill slide to oblivion. You’re no longer getting stronger, faster, sharper etc.
bothers me…almost 59, about to be single again for the first time in almost 33 years, wondering where the last 20 years went, and knowing that my parents, now in their early 80s, haven’t really been able to do much from a physical perspective for about the last 12 years.
i honestly don’t feel (or look) a day over 40, so hopefully have a lot more active years left.
Staying positive by planning activities and trips to do while i still can.
Not depressed, but certainly annoyed that I am wasting whatever time I have left working.