I’m probably going to regret this but here goes. Please be kind.
For those who are familiar with me, I live off-grid in the middle of the woods. I’m a bit of a recluse and happy with my life out here in the woods. I’ve also been super covid-phobic while training for my last full Ironman season as a 53 yr old woman. I’m trying to get to my 5th full Ironman this July. I had to drop out of my planned Ironmans in 2021 and 2022 mostly due to Plantar Fasciitis. Currently I’m actually doing well with my training minus a few bumps in the road I’ve managed to get over. My husband really wants me to be done with the full Ironman training but is still supportive of my goals. So it’s really important to get to the start line this July (and a June 70.3)
I don’t want to be the only ones wearing a mask the whole time. I’m leaning on not going but giving a generous gift (which we would normally do anyway).
If you were in my shoes with a big Ironman goal (just getting to the start line healthy) what would you do? My husband says I’ve trained too long and too hard to take chances or unnecessary risks.
I originally posted this in the LR but might be relevant here too
I did manage to travel from Vermont to California last December to do the Indian Wells 70.3 and managed not to get sick. But did wear a mask everywhere when around a lot of people. Even on the flights
I may have missed it in your post, but exactly how many days is it between the wedding and the Ironman? A week between would be different than a month between (being sick during the actual race vs. missing training leading up to the race). Regardless, I think you need to answer the question from the standpoint of ten years from now, are you more likely to regret not going to the wedding and making that memory, or not doing the Ironman (or being at your best for the Ironman). I’d use the answer to that question to decide what to do.
I’ve been trying to be super covid/sick cautious for the last few years and constantly battle decisions like this. Truth is, other people don’t care so the risk is up. My family, although super hermit’d for a couple years, have not had issues with immune systems when going into riskier situations over the past year. We do wear masks in any crowded indoor situation, and we are almost always the only ones doing so. It makes for awkward situations but I’d much rather reduce my risk and deal with the awkwardness than get sick. Honestly this covid thing has made me realize being sick doesn’t just suck for goals it just sucks in general.
I’d say since it’s just a neighbor that you pass since you are concerned about it. If it’s someone that you truly care about and are a good friend, than maybe you accept the risk and just do what you can to mitigate. FWIW, we recently have skipped some friends weddings and have only gone to higher priority events such as family weddings and get togethers.
I feel like only you can answer but you could ask yourself 10 years from now which of the two would you regret more, missing a triathlon or this neighbour/ friend’s wedding? Although life is unpredictable and you might attend both or neither depending on chance.
One thing I’d say that is most important is to make sure you don’t cram your training so that you go to the wedding after having done super hard training or a lot of voume, that’s when your immune system will be at its lowest. That would be the same with travelling to get to the race. You might want to consider having a rest day the day before you travel to make sure you’re not too beaten down. Travel doesn’t count as rest, it counts as stress.
Also, at the risk of saying the obvious, you might want to look into whether a flu shot and further COVID booster are available/possible/make sense.
I may have missed it in your post, but exactly how many days is it between the wedding and the Ironman? A week between would be different than a month between (being sick during the actual race vs. missing training leading up to the race). Regardless, I think you need to answer the question from the standpoint of ten years from now, are you more likely to regret not going to the wedding and making that memory, or not doing the Ironman (or being at your best for the Ironman). I’d use the answer to that question to decide what to do.
I agree here…2 weeks is not much time in the world of Covid if you did get it…or any other sickness. Last thing you want is to not feel good during the taper.
I’ve been trying to be super covid/sick cautious for the last few years and constantly battle decisions like this. Truth is, other people don’t care so the risk is up. My family, although super hermit’d for a couple years, have not had issues with immune systems when going into riskier situations over the past year. We do wear masks in any crowded indoor situation, and we are almost always the only ones doing so. It makes for awkward situations but I’d much rather reduce my risk and deal with the awkwardness than get sick. Honestly this covid thing has made me realize being sick doesn’t just suck for goals it just sucks in general.
I’d say since it’s just a neighbor that you pass since you are concerned about it. If it’s someone that you truly care about and are a good friend, than maybe you accept the risk and just do what you can to mitigate. FWIW, we recently have skipped some friends weddings and have only gone to higher priority events such as family weddings and get togethers.
Thanks, I really appreciate this post!
I really like our neighbor but he’s not one of our super close friends here in our new home.
Ask yourself this…“Will the wedding go on without you?” The answer is “Yes”.
Skip “their” wedding. Do “your” race. Remember nobody but you trained, sacrificed, spent income and personal time on this race.
You can always get them a nice gift and see them later. It will be okay and life will go on. The fact you even give two shits to ask the question means you’re a better person than most.
You answered your own question. You’re a hermit. You’re afraid of covid. Does being around other people who might get you sick line up with that philosophy? Nope.
Counter point, presumably you have to get to the Ironman, go to a hotel, check in, grocery store, etc. In the process of your race. Is it better to get covid 3-5 days before a race or 5 weeks before? I’d choose the latter.
Wise advice, masked or not, what matters most is duration of time spent in a place where covid particles are floating in the air. The more time you breathe air in a place with infections and the more surfaces you contact, the more likely the exposure.
So you can reasonably mitigate things.
Keep in mind, the chances are very low that you will get covid from a store or wedding ceremony or any particular individual activity. Keep in mind, even in the vaccine study, the placebo group had only 162 out of 22,000 get a covid infection. That’s less than a 1% chance of even being infected over 2 months. The chances are near 100% that you will eventually get it from all the activities combined at some point though because you’ll likely live longer than 2 more months…
The last thing I’d add is, presumably you’re not hammering workouts so hard that your immune system is comprised. Moderate exercise has a massive immune benefit.
Ask yourself this…“Will the wedding go on without you?” The answer is “Yes”.
Skip “their” wedding. Do “your” race. Remember nobody but you trained, sacrificed, spent income and personal time on this race.
You can always get them a nice gift and see them later. It will be okay and life will go on. The fact you even give two shits to ask the question means you’re a better person than most.
Thanks I appreciate this. Actually all the variety of replies are interesting. Shows how very different we can be and how we all have different takes on life. It’s all good though. I can understand those saying not to worry and just go. But it’s not so easy for me.
I have been working really hard for this since 2021. Menopause and Plantar Fasciitis and a few other things really kicked me hard the past two years. And to get to the start line healthy is super important to me. We got the invitation yesterday and it’s a wedding 2 weeks before Lake Placid IM in July. I was actually surprised to be invited.
So, I can only relate my experience which isn’t all that helpful as this is, as you know, a highly personal decision. I was signed up for IM California 2021, bomb cyclone canceled it, so got deferred to 2022. Two weeks before, went to an outdoor concert with a bus ride there. I intended on wearing a mask but, you know, social pressures and all and I just didn’t. I would not have been the only one with a mask BTW.
3 days later, felt crappy and tested positive. Vacillated back and forth on the race, but doc basically said not a great idea. Turns out even though I tested negative 3 or 4 days later, I rebounded positive on race day for 10 more days. They allowed me to defer with a positive result. This was also to be likely my last IM race, I’m now going on 3 years training for it /eyeroll
Only you can judge the relative priorities here. If it were me, I would send my condolences and a nice gift.
Covid is still a real thing, we’ve had a global face-to-face team meeting end of March. Almost everyone from the ~30 participants got Covid from this. Some really nasty. I had it only for 2 days really bad but was sick for about a week. And proper training was not feasible until just recently. Had to skip all my racing plans for spring.
Since this was work I did not have a choice. My neighbour’s wedding who I’m not really big friend with? I don’t know. Different story if this was family or really good friends. In the end it comes down to priorities and a personal risk assessment. Cost benefit analysis and so.
You’re going to get it eventually, no matter what you do. Life will go on. If you are healthy you should have nothing to worry about from a Covid infection.
If you are going to get it, it’s better to get it now and build some natural immunity that will protect you going forward.
Whatever you choose to do and wherever you go, don’t sweat being the only person wearing a mask. Do what’s right for you and make your own health decisions Don’t compromise based on what you may feel some social pressure is signalling you to do.
