My son has dated the same girl for years. They are both 19 now, he gave her a promise ring for Valentines Day so basically they are planning on getting married some day I guess but are both in school for now. This will be the first year she will be with us for Christmas Eve when we all open presents. I have gifts for her already but we will give our kids some cash. Would you give the girlfriend cash too? I don’t want her to feel like we are leaving her out.
Depends on your relationship with her.
You’re already recognizing her with gifts. If you wanted to give her some cash I’d suggest a gift certificate. Even a VISA GC. I wouldn’t have expected cash from a SO’s family nor would I give it.
But GC’s seem like a good compromise.
If you’re questioning it then you’re already averse to it for one reason or another.
Just gifts. Or gifts plus lesser cash value is my vote.
1 Like
My younger son has been seeing a girl for about six months. We are giving them one of our free cruises on Norwegian for Christmas. They are both turning 21 years old about a month before the cruise starts during their spring break. My wife and I will be on the cruise too, so it should be interesting to see them turning into full blown adults.
It’s been a long time now, but I feel like my parents included my wife in the gift giving pretty much from the get go once she was spending Christmas with us. My daughter’s boyfriend will be with us for the second year this year and he gets stuff from us.
My Dad gives out cash every year, pretty sure the granddaughter’s boyfriend didn’t make the cut last year, doubt he would this year either.
i wouldn’t give the GF cash, but of course a thoughtful gift if she is there
maybe the cash element could be left out of the formal opening?
@jimatbeyond i would expect to see nothing but love and devotion from your son’s GF on the free boat cruise
If you’re giving your kid cash, you can expect he’ll spend some of that on her. So you’re already giving her cash 
Invite her on a ski trip and then ask her to pay for everything after the fact.
7 Likes
No cash. That would be odd IMO. She’s not family … yet. If she feels left out, that would be a red flag and indicative of the immaturity of a 19 year old. I would say the promise ring means just shy of not much.
2 Likes
I’m guessing that this is your first time through this situation, so you’ll be setting a precedent
I would say ‘No’ - kids get the cash, partners are on they own
I only have D’Kid, and this is our second Christmas with her boyfriend, so he gets a gift or two
Gift - yes. Cash - no.
I’m disappointed this didn’t illicit a @windywave response. 
This.
Cash is a hard no to non-core family.
Gift card if you must, but it has to be with an actual store (ie not a generic visa gift card) , in an emergency, but ideally not this either.
Any and all guests that show up for Christmas gathering where the host family will be opening gifts, ALWAYS get some sort of gift, so that they can feel included. It can just be a bottle of wine or something.
2 Likes
Get her a cute teddy. The stuffed kind, not the other kind.
Clarification duly noted.
This advice is good.
A bit off topic, but for non-family members cash is a great gift. The mailman, your barber, doorman etc. Just give cash, no need to spend more money for a Visa gift card or getting them a card to a shop they wouldnt go to.
Some of us aren’t retired
I’d suggest movie tickets. It’s something they can do together, and they’ll think of you when they go.
I still enjoy movies on the big screen and have always appreciated the tickets when they’ve been gifted to me.
Is that an excuse for not responding quickly, or for being cheap?
Or for you not being in on the joke
I certainly giggled