“I’m so out of shape”** Translation: I ride 400 miles a week and haven’t missed a day since the Ford administration. I replace my 11-tooth cog more often than you wash your shorts. My body fat % is lower than your mortgage rate. “I’m not into competition. I’m just* riding to stay in shape” Translation: I will attack until you collapse in the gutter, babbling and whimpering. I will win the line sprint if I have to force you into oncoming traffic. I will crest this hill first if I have to grab your seat post, and spray energy drink in your eyes. “I’m on my beater bike”** Translation: I had this baby custom made in Tuscany using titanium blessed by the Pope. I took it to a wind tunnel and it disappeared. It weighs less than a fart and cost more than a divorce. “It’s not that hilly”* Translation: This climb last longer than a presidential campaign. Be careful on the steep sections or you’ll fall over backward. You have a 39x23 low gear? Here’s the name of my knee surgeon.
“You’re doing great honey” Translation: YO, lard butt, I’d like to get home before midnight. This is what you get for spending the winter decorating and eating chocolate. I should have married that cute Cat 1 racer when I had the chance.
“This is a no-drop ride”* Translation: I’ll need an article of your clothing for the search and rescue dogs. “It’s not that far”** Translation: Bring your passport.
Two nerds are riding along on a tandem, when suddenly, the one on the front slams on the brakes, gets off and starts letting air out of the tires.
The one on the back says: “HEY! What are you doing that for!?”
The first nerd says, “My seat was too high and was hurting my butt. I wanted to lower it a bit.”
The one in the back has had enough. He jumps off, loosens his own seat and spins it around to face the other direction.
Now it’s the first guy’s turn to wonder what’s going on. “What are you doing?” he asks his friend.
“Look mate,” says the rider in the back, “if you’re going to do stupid stuff like that, I’m going home!!”
Thanks, ya’ll. Made my day.
:-)))
from here?
http://alaskabikeblog.blogspot.com/...ling-vocabulary.html
Missed the best part (the Frazz cartoon)
I dont know, probably, I just got it in a forwarded e-mail years ago and thought it funny.
I take no claim, just spreading some humor.