From all the parenting threads, thought this might be a good topic.
My advice, remember kids only have 1 way to manipulate their parents and that’s to get mom or dad emotional. If you keep your emotions locked up, and don’t give them the keys, parenting gets easier. When they are little and you remember this, it can actually become funny observing them trying desperately to pull your strings and try to get you upset, and then watch the frustration grow as it doesn’t work (try not to laugh out loud, did that a few times, just really got them madder)
I had very stubborn kid and in her teens a co-worker told me of this book.
Get Out of My Life, but First Could You Drive Me & Cheryl to the Mall:
Now some of the situations he talks about are very bad, but the advice given can apply to lots of folks.
A big one for me as my daughter got into her teens. It’s ok as the adult to walk away from the argument, just say, hey we are getting emotional and need to pause this conversation and then walk away. Yes, I have had to walk out of the house, with her yelling after me (oddly once outside she stopped)
Remember…they’re kids. Try to remember what you were like when you were their age. Don’t have expectations for them to be little adults. You’re wrestling with your boys, hey, you’re gonna take a hit to the nuts…they didn’t do it on purpose, so don’t act like they did.
Don’t be afraid to admit you were wrong. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve regretted my actions, but instead of not saying anything, I’ve told my boys I overreacted and that I was sorry.
For me, it would be specific advice for new dad’s. I did not feel an emotional connection with my daughter at all at first. I kept hearing people say shit like “the second I saw my child my heart melted!!!”. Yeah, not me. That took work, a lot of work, to develop. Now she is two, and we have a great time together and that bond is there and solid. But the first six months of her life were really hard and confusing for me, emotionally.
My advice would be to not have any expectations of how you will feel as a new parent.
Remember…they’re kids. Try to remember what you were like when you were their age. Don’t have expectations for them to be little adults. You’re wrestling with your boys, hey, you’re gonna take a hit to the nuts…they didn’t do it on purpose, so don’t act like they did.
Don’t be afraid to admit you were wrong. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve regretted my actions, but instead of not saying anything, I’ve told my boys I overreacted and that I was sorry.
Agree, oh and if you have daughters DAD its ok to have them put nail polish on you, really won’t impact your man card.
Be the kind of parent you needed. That is not easy, but you can do it.
Day care is not a bad place. Check it out! If you do not feel a good vibe-find a daycare that you makes you feel good, too!
Finding a daycare is similar to finding a church- you know when you are in the right place.
Kids need to socialize-it’s their “work”.<<Daycare!
Be a parent- not a friend! You can be a friend, later.
Always have at least two bottles of (check the date) pedialyte in your truck. Someone will need it. Same goes for Benadryl and toilet paper. Put the TP roll in a coffee “can” or plastic bag.
Open a 529 now and start saving for college. Even if it is only $25/mo start now
Bad advice.
There are other, more flexible options with a better return than 529s.
But yeah, start saving.
Not sure what you mean by better return than 529s as every plan has there own options.
But if you really want to do it right, have a grandparent open up the 529, don’t put it in your name and Dont even think of putting it in the kids. When it comes time to do your FAFSA you’ll thank me.
Open a 529 now and start saving for college. Even if it is only $25/mo start now
Bad advice.
There are other, more flexible options with a better return than 529s.
But yeah, start saving.
Not sure what you mean by better return than 529s as every plan has there own options.
But if you really want to do it right, have a grandparent open up the 529, don’t put it in your name and Dont even think of putting it in the kids. When it comes time to do your FAFSA you’ll thank me.
Main problem is you get hosed if your kid doesn’t go to college.
With son going off to college, and daughter a rising HS Junior, mine are coming into their own… I’ve realized that no matter what you want for/from them as you raise them the nature vs. nurture pull is very strong on the nature side. There’s a bunch of stuff they’re just hard-wired based on their (mine and wife’s) genes.
So my advice? Know yourself… because your kids will follow a lot of you, both the good and that not so good.
*Edit – for parents of adopted kids, YMMV on the nature/nurture scale of things.
Get library books and read to your kid every night. Do this and they will be reading in preschool. They will learn so much faster and make your life so much easier.
Get library books and read to your kid every night. Do this and they will be reading in preschool. They will learn so much faster and make your life so much easier.
I love this - keep reading too them after they can already read. You will learn so much about them and their interests and open so many conversations.
I still remember my dad reading novels to me. Such a cherished memory.