Background: I’m a 50 year old male, MOPer in sprint and oly distance races. Got into triathlon in the early 80’s. Gave it up for family and career. Stayed fit through running and weight training. Got back into the sport about 4 years ago now that kids are grown and career is on auto pilot.
Question: Last night I was talking with my wife and I casually mentioned to her that I had done a second workout that day. Her comment to me was, “You’re obsessed!”. Now, after 23 years of marriage she has come to accept my desire to stay fit. She works out too, but nowhere near the level that I do. Typical day for me is 1 -2 hours in the morning, ride the bike to work and back (8 miles round trip). A couple of days a week I’ll hit the gym and lift. I take Saturdays off and usually do a 30 to 40 mile bike ride on Sunday (sometimes I’ll brick these workouts with a 3 or 5 mile run). Typically, 12 to 15 hours a week. I know this is nowhere near some hardcore athletes’ weekly hours, but I recognize that this is a fair amount of time spent exercising. I don’t ignore the family, in fact, I’ve spent the past 20 years doing the family thing. So my questions are: am I/we obsessed? Do we need counseling? Do you have have friends/relatives/significant others who work out like you do, who can relate to you, or do they look at you like you have some sort of problem. Last night, I felt like the next thing out of my wife’s mouth was going to be, “the first step is you have to admit you have a problem”. I don’t think I have a problem. Thoughts?
My girlfriend and pretty much everyone I know think I’m insane. But that’s what makes this sport great. If you love what you are doing and it doesn’t hurt other people, why not do it.
well to determine if you’re obsessed you have to answer your own questions. i do think alot of people train to avoid facing the real problems in their lives, or to avoid what’s plaguing them.
personally I used to shop alot and buy a ton of wine–I think I enjoyed buying it more than drinking it sometimes. now I’m overcoming that and trying to face the reasons why I shopped to feel better…it’s not that uncommon especially for women. on the contrary, alot of men hide in their careers, and work late to avoid family life, etc…these are the guys who have sofas in their offices and stay late to read the paper and drink beer with their colleagues–when I worked in financial services the place was littered with these types. we all know someone like this.
but I digress. the point is, you have to answer all of that yourself to figure out if you are “hiding” in your training and sport. for the record though, there are alot of healthy people training hard that aren’t hiding in their sport. and also I think most people don’t train as much/hard as “we” do, but there is always a group of people that do even more. so, comparing yourself to others might not help you figure that out.
You are obsessed (or at least I am:) but that is what keeps you at it. Being obsessed is not a bad thing IMO if the focus is positive. My GF thinks I obsess about my weight, my nutrition but not my training. She knows that it makes me happy and nicer to be around but also that it is necessary to do the things I want to do. My family and friends do think I am a bit strange but all admire the dedication and my desire to stay true to my goals.
The trick is to be obsessed and not lose all the balance in your life.
I think, on the average, it’s a chicken and egg question. Do people who do triathlon do so because they are obsessed, or are they obsessed because they do triathlon? What I mean is, does the sport tend to DEVELOP OCD, or do people who already have OCD tendencies get drawn into this sport?
I think you’re pretty balanced, and I think your wife’s comment was a bit out of line.
As for me, it’s been a bone of centention in virtually all my relationships. Not that they don’t work out to my level (they didn’t), but that there was no attempt to understand it.
Are we obsessed? No, do we have a passion? Yes!! An obsession gets in the way of normal life and a passion is some thing that we live for and makes our life complete!
Well that’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Ha ha
Sport for me is like being in a toy store for adults, it means never having to grow up because it means play time. For some people they have other passions, would be a very sad person who did not have any passion in life, including work. Of course I think people who live to work are nuts but its their life. Of course passions change with time - from marriage/career/kids to making frames or golf clubs during retirement (I know two guys who actually did do these things in retirement)
So the short answer is yes you are obsessed but there are different degrees obsession. I know a tri head who got divorced b/c of his “hobby”
I don’t know if it is obsession or addiction. In my case it is addiction (I have one of those personalities). I am new to Tri, and since I got started it has grown to touch on everything in my life. I look at everything through Tri colored glasses and it has served to improve almost every aspect of my life (with the notable exception of my checking account balance).
In any case, my wife does not understand completely either, but we have and expression in our family - “At least be happy it’s not drugs”.
I think we are all passionate but only a few of us are truly obsessed. Witin our sport, I would characterize obsessed as someone who buys the latest and greatest everything year after year, who rsearches statistics and can recall from memory who won IMNZ 15 yrs ago. To me, passionate is the guy who rides his steel bike from 10 years ago because he just doesn’t care what anybody else thinks. He’s in it for him.
As for the insane reaction we all get, I offer a different perspective.
I went to Stone Harbor, NJ this weekend with my girlfriend. It was my first time down there, and I asked her to call her friends to suggest which direction to head off in for a bike ride. Her friend asked how far I had to ride, to which my girlfriend replied “about 80 miles.” Her friend replied “are you kidding.” She thought I was insane.
Awhile back my girlfriend told me about a woman who hand paints and designs easter eggs. She spends about four days decorating and painting these eggs. That’s right FOUR days. Now, to me SHE is INSANE. To another who also does this, she is passionate.
I don’t think it’s fine line. I think the line is very clear between who is passionate and obsessed. However, Triathlon is not the only medium where this exists, so to say we are all insane for doing Triathlon is relative.
Sorry. You’re right. Should have known better. Actually, I was just looking for feedback from other Slowtwitchers about how others in their lives view the kind of training we do.
Brider, your chicken and egg analogy is right on. I’m really pretty OCD about a lot of things and triathlon allows me to fully indulge my OCD tendencies in terms of swimming, biking, running, and weight lifting. In my original post I said that I take Saturdays off, but it’s a struggle to no do anything (I’ll usually sneak in some core/ab work when the wife goes to her exercise class).