Amputation: The new way to more aero, less weight

Hi Slowtwitchers,

I have been discussing with several surgeons in the Tijauna’s bustling medical district the possibility of liberating myself of unecessary appendages and internal organs in hopes of becoming an even more elite triathlete.

As you are aware, there are several unecessary body parts we all share. Two smallest toes on each foot. Pinkys. Who needs two kidneys? Does the smaller intestine need to be SO LONG?

And what is more unaero than having two ears sticking out of the sides of your head?

Has anyone here persued a strategy lose weight or become more aero through such a similarly agressive strategy?

I go in for the pre-op consultation on Tuesday so if you have any ideas to share I’ll need them quick.

…Soon to be approximately 11 lbs lighter and with 3 lbs less of drag…

Learn

No need to go down to Tijuana - I’ll do it for you with the best modern Western medical care/drugs possible :wink:

You can even bring in your cycling shoes that you want 2 sizes smaller for less weight and wind resistance, and I’ll make sure intra-operatively that your new shoes will fit before you leave the OR …

Wow, thanks for the business idea! My neighbor does gastric bypass/lap band surgery as well - perhaps we can work together on people?

LOL!

Hello Learn and All,

While you are at it be sure to have your leg below your knee reversed so your feet stick out backwards - much more aero; also having the round calf in front and the tapered shin bone aft will save a few grams of drag. I once saw a science fiction movie where the aliens were built this way and they could jump over tall buildings in one bound.

Or have your lower legs removed completely like the guy trying out for the Olympics and run on springs. (and good luck to him)

As the total weight of non original parts in humans increases each year - hip and knee replacements - etc. the rules will become less restrictive for us and our hybrid brethren.

Cheers,

Neal

As a pioneer in the ‘hybrid’ category, let me know if you have any questions… :stuck_out_tongue:

A guy without legs kicked my tail in the Hawaii 70.3 swim, so you may be on to something. His wife waited on the beach to hand him his legs when he got out of the water. I missed it, but it was apparently (and not surprisingly) quite an inspirational sight.

Now this is what I love about ST. (sarcasm included).

I am sure that all those women and men soldiers injured with artificial limbs, as well as other members of society who are unfortunate to have needed an amputation are counting their lucky stars to be lighter.

Your post even in jest is just in poor taste. Why don’t you go ask the double leg amputee doing Coeur d’Alene now how he feels or the other men and women who have done IM as amputees.

Oh Come On!

The fact that there actually are disabled athletes had nothing to do with this poke at the trend among folks here and in the sport to go to rediculous extremes people go to here to get a lighter/more aero advantage, myself included.

Would it also be in poor taste to ask you to pull the prosthetic foot out of your ass?

You are tempting me to edit my signature. Please give me a really good line, granny.

Please sir (or madame) - just GO AWAY! From what little I’ve read of your posts, I’ve now got the “iron3fit” name forever blocked from reading anyway (as I’m sure others do as well). It appears that nothing posted gets by your keen, critical eye. I can only imagine what you do for a living (and of course, since you posted that you WANT to remain anonymous, unlike myself and most others here, I have little respect for you at all).

I likely have more experience with amputees than anyone else on this forum. The OP was not “in poor taste” as you put it, and I’d wager I could have dozens of amputees read it and feel the same.

I do foresee iron3fit going the way of the dodo, swimfan, et al. soon though … I honestly hope you don’t alienate people in person as quickly as you do in cyberspace.

WOW!!!

It is really hard to get rroof angry… and I should know because I try very often. ;>)

iron3fit, you can consider yourself a very talented troll.

Mark

Probably my bad for quasi-hijacking the thread with a post about an actual amputee, but I didn’t see the original one in poor taste either. The first one to figure out who Iron3fit is gets a free Gatorade hat signed by Ironclm, huh?

In point of fact, the AP today has an article that raises a lot of on-topic questions:

Amputee Allowed to Compete

By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
Published: June 24, 2007
International track officials have changed their stance on Oscar Pistorius, the champion amputee sprinter from South Africa, and will allow him to compete against able-bodied runners while researchers try to determine whether his prosthetics give him an advantage.

But Nick Davies, spokesman for the International Association of Athletics Federations, said discussion of Pistorius, 20, competing in the Olympics was premature, noting that he had not yet reached qualifying standards.

In March, the I.A.A.F. introduced a rule barring from competition any runner deemed to benefit from artificial help. That had been interpreted as scuttling Pistorius’s hopes of being becoming the first disabled runner to compete in the Olympic Games, with his sights set on Beijing in 2008.

Pistorius was born without fibulas — the long, thin outer bone between the knee and the ankle — and was 11 months old when his legs were amputated below the knee.

Striding on his curved prosthetics, which touch only a few inches of ground, Pistorius now looks as comfortable and light-footed as a gymnast. Pistorius has clocked times of 10.91 seconds in the 100 meters, 21.58 in the 200 and 46.56 in the 400 — world-record times for disabled athletes. He finished second in the 400 at the South African Championships, an able-bodied meet, in March. Pistorius is close to the Olympic qualifying standard in the 400. He needs to run a 46.3 before the July 2008 qualifying deadline.

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/06/24/sports/othersports/24track.html

rroof- WTF is your problem? So you find ok to implicitly make fun of amputees. Well I don’t find it funny. It is just sad and in poor taste.

Why don’t you get some amputees to post their thoughts on the matter? For all you know I am one. You dick.

Although I didn’t find the original post offensive, I do remember thinking, “Interesting - this is the same guy who started the “Badass” thread, which was one of the FUNNIEST things I’ve ever read on ST, but this appears to be a failed 2nd attempt because I don’t find it funny at all.”
.

This is actually something we talk about sometimes in PC circles. For example, at a Paralympic camp training ride Paul Martin (who has a below-knee amputation) was telling me that he feels he has an advantage in climbs over me because I have to drag around a “useless 13lb sack of water”. He was talking about my lower leg which really doesn’t do much in cycling other than provide energy transfer for my upper leg. A carbon-fiber post connected below the knee can arguably transfer the force more with greater efficiency if the ‘leg’ fits correctly, etc.

Paul was also stoked on his cycling leg b/c it was extremely lightweight and had aerodynamic fairing.

For swimming the ‘benefits’ of missing a leg are obvious, less drag (some disadvantages are listed below).

On the run at the NYC Triathlon last year (the PC national championships) an BK (below-knee) amputee apologized to me when he passed me in the run. Later I asked him why he apologized and he said he almost felt like he was ‘cheating’ because of how efficient the carbon-fiber running feet are. The running feet are essentially a large curved spring that enables the runner to run with sort of a step…SPRING…step…SPRING gait. From what ‘they’ tell me, a fit BK runner can often run faster than a ‘regular’ runner with similar fitness. Imagine having springs on the bottom of your shoes… (please don’t cheapen this by making some reference to Newtons, totally different beast).

On the other hand, leg amputees face a number of challenges that slow them down. First of all, not all leg-amps are amputated Below-the-Knee (BK). If, like Sarah Reinertson, the amputation is Above-the-knee (AK), it becomes MUCH more difficult to bike, run, and walk even with the best prosthetic limb. The knee is a critical joint. Also AK’s often loose some upper leg muscle when their stumps are formed.

Secondly, leg-amps have longer transition times because they have to put on the different legs for each part of the race. Putting on a leg involves more than just slamming it on (like most people put on a shoe). If there is dirt, water, salt, etc in between the leg and the stump the athlete can have very serious abrasions that do not heal easily and that impact their ability to get through day to day life (if they can’t wear a leg while the wounds heal). Read some of Paul Martin’s race reports on his website to better understand the trials and tribulations he goes through with injuries to his “stumpie”.

Thirdly, amps sometimes have difficulty with transitions. For example, getting to and from the swims b/c they have to use crutches, etc to get get around without their leg.

Finally, prosthetic limbs are mechanical and can break down, require maintenance, etc like any other piece of machinery. They are expensive and must be custom fit. If your stump changes size you need to refit it to your leg. The stump can swell just like a foot in a shoe during a long run. Prosthetic limbs require a unique set of skills to know how to use properly (imagine clipping into your pedal with a two foot long cleat…). Even something as simple as standing still can be a challenge for some amps, especially when they’re recently injured.

One-leg BK (and sometimes AK) amputees are often the rock stars of the PC division because their disabilities are immediately visible and b/c the most fit BK ‘amps’ can often post times that would place them amongst the top AG athletes (if not the elites), especially when you control for the longer transition times.

I won’t get into the guys with arm ampuations (above-elbow and below-elbow). Guys like Jon Beeson, Willie Stewart, Tommy Knapp, etc. Incredible athletes who face a completely different situation as the leg amps.

I don’t pretend to know from a first-hand perspective what it is like to live and compete with an amputation. Please understand that this post is just to share some perspective I’ve gained in 5 years or so of competing with my friends in the PC division.

Whatever the intention of the OP was, the post tapped into something that is a daily reality for some of us and maybe deserves a bit more respect. Regardless, I think anyone is better off just training, eating well, and racing hard. Ultimately that will make anyone faster no matter how many limbs they have.

Hello Iron3fit and All,

I understood Learn to be makin’ fun of some of us, me included, that find it interesting (and sometimes expensive) to make our equipment lighter and more aero, including our bodies.

And in truth it is kind of strange to buy a Ti screw that weighs only slightly less than stainless … but sometimes I do it. And I can laugh at myself when I think about it.

Perhaps one pound body weight loss will make a human 1% faster running and so on …

However - Learn is on to something here because humans are evolving, short children are given HGH to grow bigger and stronger, cranky people are given Prozac, and in one celebrated incident a man named Richards (IIRC) became a woman to be more competitive in professional tennis.

Muscle implants, nerve implants, heart bypass, and amputation are not off limits in the modern world. Or in ancient myth, like the Amazon women that amputated one breast to be better with the bow and arrow.

I have read that in China it is a common operation to break the leg bones and insert rods to make humans taller.

Have you tracked or changed you body weight, bicycle weight, or other competitive parameters to improve your performance?

What do you think?

Cheers,

Neal

I for one welcome our cyborg overlords
.

and you totally don’t need that third leg…

I’d save about 15 lbs by getting rid of my third leg.

I’m sorry - ITS HARD to write comedy. give me a another try at some point in the future to regain your applause. Glad you liked the first one though. I agree it was bettah.

rroof- WTF is your problem?
You dick.

Well, there you go. Some of CLM’s posts rub me the wrong way, but on this one, you’re way off. However, it’s funny to look at rroof and “you dick” in the same post. Kind of like peanut butter and ketchup.

Go away swimiron3fan

Brad