Speak of Women and be politically correct She is not a “BABE” or a “CHICK” - She is a “BREASTED AMERICAN.”
She is not a “SCREAMER” or a “MOANER” - She is “VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.”
She is not “EASY” - She is “HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.”
She is not a “DUMB BLONDE” - She is a “LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.”
She has not “BEEN AROUND” - She is a “PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.”
She is not an “AIRHEAD” - She is “REALITY IMPAIRED.”
She does not get “DRUNK” or “TIPSY” - She gets “CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.”
She does not have “BREAST IMPLANTS” - She is “MEDICALLY ENHANCED.”
She does not “NAG” you - She becomes “VERBALLY REPETITIVE.”
She is not a “TRAMP” - She is “SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.”
She does not have “MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS” - She is “PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.”
She is not a “TWO-BIT HOOKER” - She is a “LOW COST PROVIDER.”
Speak of Men and be politically correct He does not have a “BEER GUT” - He has developed a “LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.”
He is not a “BAD DANCER” - He is “OVERLY CAUCASIAN.”
He does not “GET LOST ALL THE TIME”. He “INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE ROUTES AND DESTINATIONS.”
He is not “BALDING” - He is in “FOLLICLE REGRESSION.”
He is not a “CRADLE ROBBER” - He prefers “GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.”
He does not get “FALLING-DOWN DRUNK” - He becomes “ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.”
He does not act like a “TOTAL ASS” - He develops a case of “RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.”
He is not a “MALE CHAUVINIST PIG” - He has “SWINE EMPATHY.”
He is not afraid of “COMMITMENT” - He is “RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED.”
He is not “HORNY” - He is “SEXUALLY FOCUSED.”
It’s not his “CRACK” you see hanging out of his pants - It’s “REAR CLEAVAGE.”