If you want a birthday party - plan one. Or ask your wife to.

ESP is a terrible language to expect others to speak.

If you want a birthday party - plan one. Or ask your wife to.

ESP is a terrible language to expect others to speak.

As I would have some folks to the house for cornhole and board games and firepit time and drinks and stuff, but without an outright ban it's been made clear to me for some reason they never want folks over. And if it's "out somewhere" then it's all on me to plan.

Not kids, but when the adults have a milestone birthday. Could be spouse, parents, etc... Who plans, how much is the person whose birthday it is involved in the planning or setup, who would you have come? Etc...

Reason I'm asking is I'm sitting back watching mine come rolling up soon, and I remember my parent's milestone birthdays from when I was a kid. Their 40th for example. They had family and some friends, IIRC it was a rented local restaurant room or hall, etc... We've been around town locally and I've seen the balloons and groups of people.

So far, I'm seeing "nada". I was politely told if I wanted to ride with my bike folks that weekend or do something I could set that up myself and do it entirely outside the house. Otherwise, it's feeling like the typical "minor adult birthday" at home with some Indian takeout and a takeout slice of cake from the local bakery.

A guy's weekend separately was floated, but riding wise my freaking BIL poo poo'd doing the "half waffle" BWR Asheville as he thought the people would be too uppity. FFS. And I don't see anything else on the calendars near where I would want to have a weekend ride/brew kind of thing other than that.

But she basically has zero contact info or barely names of any of the weeknight group ride guys I have pal'd around with for years now. Not confirmed her BIL is even in town or not that I sometimes have some whiskey with.

Just getting the feeling I may need to be prepared for a letdown.

When the wife turned 35 I did custom year 1987 Taboo game, everyone dressed 80's, I curated music playlist, etc... For 35th.

Yeah, that was the source of the question. Basically being told to plan something myself, outside the house, on my own if I want to do something where there's more than basically the nuclear family plus one or two. I would go ahead and say "it would be nice to......." but I feel like it was made clear to me they won't be doing that.

As I would have some folks to the house for cornhole and board games and firepit time and drinks and stuff, but without an outright ban it's been made clear to me for some reason they never want folks over. And if it's "out somewhere" then it's all on me to plan.

For my 40th birthday, I took my wife to New York for ten days and we ate at nine restaurants with 2 or 3 Michelin stars. Le Bernardin was our favorite.