"Question: How do you motivate people or help them motivate themselves? That’s clearly the source of the problem for me - the fire within is but an ember these days. I am sliding into sedentariness, and I can’t find the inner strength to stop this slide. How would you help somebody like me? "
Unfortunately, (as we have already threaded about this topic), no one can ‘motivate’ anyone else to change. (You have mentioned that you cannot get your family to listen to you, as you hope to get them healthier and fitter…)
Motivation is very personal to each person. How I do it is to bring each person through a series of questions to help discover what really motivates him/herself INDIVIDUALLY. It’s hard to explain in one sentence… but the upshot is that some people are motivated by going TOWARDS something (“I want to be healthy, fit, and sexy…”) and some people are motivated by moving AWAY from something (“I don’t want to die early from obesity-induced heart attack”).
(Example:
My own motivation is easy: I like being fit, muscular, and feeling energetic. I used to be fat, tired, and depressed. To stay fit and full of energy I MUST eat well and train. However, as my goal is not any specific race, I will accept almost ANY interesting activity which might give me excitement and exercise.).
What you are truly asking is how is someone coached… this, again, is individual to each person. Some people like being told exactly how to do something; some people like to figure things out on their own, but want support while doing it.
If you yourself (or anyone reading this) can’t stop an inner slide, perhaps it’s because you haven’t found the big enough “why” (‘motivation’) to get going again. Perhaps you’ve deprioritized your health in favor of computers or TV… and suddenly both those seem much more interesting than training. If I presented you with a GREAT training ride (or run or brick), I’d bet you’d get off your ass to do it – and you won’t be looking back at your TV wondering if it missed you!
This is why many people race: it is goal-oriented; it has a beginning, middle, and end, and it may lead to the next stepping-stone of a goal. You see many people start with 5k’s and then through the years move on to other sports – or IM. The goal-setting process is addictive to many people.
So, you ask, “How would I help someone like you?”
Answer: ‘Individually’.
…THAT’s why I coach. I coach so you (or others like you) get individual attention to uncover your OWN motivation, techniques, schedule, time issues, food issues, surpassing obstacles, challenge mental roadblocks, tear down the walls. I LOVE when clients “graduate” from not needing me anymore. That means we have set them on their own paths and own techniques; they solve their own problems using the skills we individually crafted for THEM.
How can YOU motivate yourself?
By awareness: “know thyself”. You know what turns you on and turns you off. You know what pushes your buttons in the good way (and in a bad way). By learning how to tap into your strengths (and weaknesses) you can create your own path. But you HAVE TO WANT TO.
Two things to help you consider:
http://www.physicalmind.com/escape.htm
http://www.physicalmind.com/newsletter2.htm
Hope these help…
Lauren