I have not done a triathlon in four years. When I stopped training my wife told me she was absolutely thrilled I stopped riding my road bike. She said every time I went for a ride she was genuinely frightened I was going to be seriously hurt or killed.
I’ve missed riding immensely and want to get back into triathlons again. The problem is, now I know my wife is pretty scared to have me riding my bike on the roads and she would perfectly happy if I never rode my bike again. Some of this is my fault. Over the years I may have pointed out how dangerous riding is. I think I’ve done this to convince myself that quitting riding was a good idea.
Now that I want to do tri’s again I’ve had to convince her that training on the bike is a good idea. She has suggested marathons or ultras instead of tri’s, or just buying an indoor trainer or simply mountain biking. I know trainers and mountain biking are options but neither of those are the same as road riding. Running has been great but I just miss triathlon training.
My wife would never stand in my way and prevent me from swimming and riding but I know it frightens her. I personally have no real fear of riding but I don’t want her in continuous fear for my safety. Also, if something were to happen to me on the bike I would feel horrible. The last thing I want is for her get a call some day saying I’m in a coma from being clobbered by a car, especially when I’m the one who convinced her this is a good idea.
I guess the answer is easy: either train and live with the fact that she’s scared or don’t start riding and prevent the fear in the first place.
Anyway, That’s the situation. I guess I’m not really looking for an answer, just thought I’d throw it out there.
If you have a smartphone, carry it with you. Apps like “find my iPhone” are great for letting her know if you are still moving (i.e., not lying in a ditch).
I told my wife that she can check in on my location at any time, and not to worry unless (1) I haven’t moved in 30+ minutes, (2) I am moving faster than 50mph (i.e., I am a hood ornament), or (3) my location shows that I am in a hospital.
Some things that might help your wife with peace of mind
RoadID
MapMyRide has an iPhone app that lets others track you online
Might be other similar apps
SPOT tracker always following, longer intervals I think
ICE Dot is a crash sender texting device, mounts on helmet
And, make sure to tell her where/when you are riding and text or call when done
.
Some things that might help your wife with peace of mind
RoadID
MapMyRide has an iPhone app that lets others track you online
Might be other similar apps
SPOT tracker always following, longer intervals I think
ICE Dot is a crash sender texting device, mounts on helmet
And, make sure to tell her where/when you are riding and text or call when done
These are all great ideas to give piece of mind. Also consider the new Garmin devices that connect to your cell phone and give her the ability to check on you in real time with your stats like HR, etc.
Yea, I hear her too. It’s getting more dangerous out there for some reason. Especially here in NJ.
I couldn’t train for almost 2 years and I took it slow coming back. I was a little shaky on the bike for the first few rides. But soon I was back to normal. Just take it slow, you’ll be fine.
I try to ride during “off” hours from traffic. I did my long ride this morning, I started at 5:45. I call when I’m at the turn around on a long ride and I always tell her when to expect me within 30 minutes. If I’m past that time I call. The “find my phone” thing sounds interesting. I didn’t think of that, I’m gonna try it.
I know you didn’t ask for advice but this is slowtwitch…
I do a little less than half my rides on a trainer. I do active recovery rides 45-60’, and interval rides up to 60’ with a fan on full blast. It saves my body from quite a bit of jarring but still works the legs and cardio. The potholes and roads around here (Middleton) got smashed up badly over the winter.
I’m surprised no one has pointed to statistic yet, which seem to show that cycling is less risky than in the past, and less risky than many normal activities that don’t scare most of us in the least.
when my other half is worried about my ride I just fire up MapMyFitness and Live Tracking so she can check on me. I just discard it at the end and use my Garmin as per usual for logging. She has also mentioned that she would feel better if I was riding with a group. So perhaps some group riding might help?
All practical suggestions and certainly significant others can be fearful. Perhaps though part of the message is this is something that brings joy and meaning to your life.
Thanks for the great replies and suggestions. I never thought of an iPhone app indicating where I am and if I’m still moving. That would probably help ease her fears: at least a little bit.
Group riding is certainly an option, even though it may take me a few months to get up to speed to join the group I used to ride with.
Like I said, I don’t have a problem getting back on the bike - I realize the chances in me getting killed on a bike are extremely slim. I think there were 17 deaths in Pa last year. Granted, for those 17 people statistics meant nothing but I just don’t worry about the danger myself.
On a side note, the main thing that got me thinking about training again was a question from a friend who asked if I did triathlons any more. He wants to do a small tri in Pa called Anthracite. I’ve done this race a few times and he asked if I would train with him. I said I haven’t done one in years. He then asked if I would ever consider doing another and it dawned on me – I’m not ready to say I’ve done my last triathlon of my life. It just sounded very final to me and very depressing: that I was never going to do another triathlon in my life, ever again. My wife totally got that! I guess that’s why she would never prevent me from doing them, she just doesn’t feel great about it.
Any trails nearby? Road riding scares the hell out of me. I spend the majority of my time on trails and even with the little road riding I do I must have one close call per week.
I have a few routes that I like to do. One is a paved trail that ends up on a few parkways and short traverses on city streets but mostly has long sections of trails the are free of motorized traffic.
I also have a 5 mile loop that I ride around a college campus. It is mostly campus roads with a trail and some park roads. Drivers around this area seem to have a better awareness or at least expectation of seeing cyclists.
Finally there are some quiet rural roads a half hour drive from my home. Worth the trek for longer group rides but not usually in my routine.
Well, because I live up North, I spend a lot of time on the trainer. The other option though is Garmin’s Live Tracker, that way she can see where you are at any time.
But, life is a risk. Do all you can to mitigate and be smart aboit when and where you are riding and how.
I used to ride motorbikes a lot and Everytime I was out my wife was worried. She said that if she ever got a call from the Hospital she was going to put a chain around my motorbikes, drag them out of the garage into the front driveway and set them on fire. Well, one day I was at “Track days” and misjudged a corner, went down and broke a collar bone. After getting checked out I walked out of the Ear to the parking lot and called her, NOT from the hospital but from the parking lot. Fortunately that worked. And, Cav won Stage 8 of Amgen! (Sorry, I digress but had it PVRd and just watched it).
Anyway yes, my wife worries when I’m out on the road. I commute some days and go for lomg rides on weekends. I don’t tell her about the close calls or the idiots on the road but how beautiful my ride was, the wildlife I saw, the fresh bloom of Wild Roses, the black cloud of knats, the cute little (puppy of course), the hill I beat, the wind I beat, how cold the rain was, how I had a “Runner’s high”, what I thought about (the good stuff), how I met up with others, how great the ride was, how great my bike works - thanks for being OK with me riding.
I also go out riding with my adult sons so that means more than 1 person and I get caught up.
The stats you seek are elusive, but I found this actionable morsel from the U.S. Department of Transportation:
In 2012 28% of cyclists killed had been drinking, and 24% had blood alcohol levels over the legal limit. Removing (presumably non-drinking) children, it may be that about 33% of adult cycling fatality risk can be eliminated by not drinking while cycling.
I worry about my husband a lot too when he is out riding. I feel like we are often bombarded with crash/accident articles, but I gotta remember if there was an article for each successful ride someone took we would be called CrossFitters, not cyclists.
The tracking app suggestions are a good idea, but I think that might just create an even more paranoid response from her… It is still a good idea, but I would just focus more on the positives of your ride, leave out the stories of that jerk in the truck who honked at you and just make sure she knows the general path you think you will take during your ride.
Any chance she would be interested in going for rides together? Maybe if she was able to get in on the fun she wouldn’t worry so much?
I see a lot of responses that will help your wife determine if you’re still OK at any point in your ride, which is helpful. I suspect what would really reduce her anxiety is to know that you wouldn’t get hurt in the first place. So if you could find what’s the most common causes of accidents (e.g. riding on a road that’s too narrow for cars to pass), you could tell your wife what you’re doing to not do those things (riding only on wide-lane roads.
(I don’t know if narrow lanes are a contributing factor for collisions - I just made that up. But you see my point).
I’m surprised no one has pointed to statistic yet, which seem to show that cycling is less risky than in the past, and less risky than many normal activities that don’t scare most of us in the least.
On average the best estimate is that cycling has about the same fatality rate per hour of exposure as driving a car. Of course no one gives driving a second thought. Cycling is way less dangerous than riding a motorcycle.
IMO many cyclist make riding more dangerous than it needs to be. We can mitigate the risk quite a lot by doing sensible things like using a good rear light especially if we ever ride towards the sun, wear bright clothes, avoid sketchy roads if possible, ride defensively and pay attention, etc.
