Why you will NEVER Qualify for Kona ( a thread for the rest of us)

Triathlon Forum
1

Now that we know the “secrets to qualifying” for Kona from that small % of folks who do race there, how about something the vast majority of us can relate to, why we will not/can not qualify. Make it fun, make it funny, make it bitter, whatever turns your powercranx… Please, a limit of three per customer) I’ll go 1st.

Like beer too much. (honestly, a catch all for all the nutritional shortcomings I have).
Unwilling to dedicate the time in the pool.Unwillingness to suffer on the bike enough in training.

2
  1. can’t swim my way out of a wet paper bag.
  2. do not run more than 8 miles in training.
  3. bad choice in parents.
3
  1. I don’t want to
  2. Too much misery in the qualifying race just to go through it again, only more so with the heat/wind in Hawaii
  3. I don’t want my wife to have a reason to plan a vacation there
    .
4

Spend too much time thinking/reading/writing about improving train that I do not have enough time to actually train.

5
  1. I am counting on the lottery. 17 years and counting!!
6
  1. LOFT
  2. No desire to run 26 miles so even if I did qualify at a 70.3 (if that still happens) I’d turn it down
  3. see #1
7
  1. LOFT
  2. No desire to run 26 miles so even if I did qualify at a 70.3 (if that still happens) I’d turn it down
  3. see #1

LOFT?

8

Because I’ve already done it on a lottery spot and don’t have the desire to try to qualify.

I’m 6’2 and 195 lbs and don’t want to cannibalize all of my upper body muscle.

9
  1. LOFT
  2. No desire to run 26 miles so even if I did qualify at a 70.3 (if that still happens) I’d turn it down
  3. see #1

LOFT?

Lack of F’ing Talent

10

Great thread;

1: Zero desire to be on a bike for more than 2.5 hours
2: Zero desire to be on a plane for that long
3: Zero desire to spend however much they are charging now for entry fees, twice.

trav

11

Because I suck.

All other reasons or excuses simply point back to those 3 words.

12
  1. Life is too short to be spending 20+ hours a week training
  2. I actually want to stay employed
  3. I actually want to stay married
13
  1. I like sitting on my couch too much.
  2. One piece of pie (bowl of ice cream, cookie, pizza, etc) is never enough…also what constitutes ‘a piece’ doesn’t seem to line up with other people’s definitions…

and a VERY distant third
3. My bank account could never support an attempt

14
  1. I like good beer
  2. I spend a lot of my money on good beer
  3. I like to sleep in and go to bed early
15
  1. I suck at running
  2. I really suck at running
  3. I really suck at running and everytime I start to get marginal at it I get hurt!
16
  1. started getting fit too late in life
  2. partied too hard before I started #1
  3. see #2
    .
17
  1. Enjoy my family
  2. Enjoy my sleep
  3. Enjoy my money too much to enter an IM or buy all the gear needed for that last 1% of speed.
18

My screen name pretty much says it all.

Love to train long, hate to train hard.

19
  1. Can’t afford IM events.
  2. Don’t like big events - too many people. The Kona swim start is not really something in which I even want to partake. It’s just not for me. I prefer smaller, well-run events like Toughman, Rev3/Challenge, and other local/one-off non-“brand name” races.
  3. I enjoy challenging and fun courses in places where my family can have fun. Frankly, aside from the history, the Kona course looks like it would suck.
20
  1. Can’t swim for shit
  2. Can’t bike for shit
  3. Can’t run for shit