Why Not?

Triathlon Forum
1

We’ve all thought about what it would be like to race at Hawaii. A few of us have done what it takes. Most of us haven’t, not because of lack of talent, but because we were unwilling.

Likewise, we often look at our dreams as if they were impossible, when in reality they are only impossible because we are unwilling to dedicate our lives in the necessary ways. Many, even most, of us could run a ten hour Ironman on pro level training. But we don’t train like pros because we are busy with other things.

Why are we busy with other things? A corporate lawyer from the east coast used to post on here under the name johnthesavage. He was making choices between his work and his dreams. He walked away from work, moved to New Zealand, and chased his dreams.

Why are some people able to do this while others aren’t? Why do some of us continue lifestyles that leave us less fulfilled than we could be if we lived with reckless abandon?

A good start is a list of dreams. Here are a few of mine…

  1. Race Hawaii.

  2. Climb Denali.

  3. Ride across the US (Summer 06).

I think it’s time to start chasing them.

2

Yes Sir caleb.

Ultimately, dreams are the only things of value we have over the entire span of our lives. They are the only things that endure.

I just returned form see the IMAX movie “Our Sacred Planet” ath The Henry Ford Museum with my friend Mario.

It showcased beautiful places around the world in stunning cinematography. The overwhelming majority of people will only see these places through this film in the sterile, artificial, virtual world of the IMAX theater.

During the movie I reflected on how I had visited every place shown in the movie except one (Borneo, and it is on my short list). It occured to me how fortunate I am in the grand scheme of things. How incredibly wealthy.

It also occured to me that had I not chased my dreams and gone through some tough times and scary decisions very contrary to “mainstream” choices I would have never made those dreams reality.

That is what keeps people in their homes, on their couches, doing the 9-5 with the perceived security of job, mortgage and insurance. It keeps them from casting off the facade of “security” and chasing what is unscripted and never been done.

Another reality is that the people who do “leave the fold” to chase their dreams rarely come back to tell others how to do it or what its like. They stay gone.

The one person I loved more than any other, who really knew me and whom I really knew and understood- gave me the greatest compliment I’ve ever had. One night we were laying in bed and she said to me, “Do you know why I love you?”

I said, “No, I’m not sure…”

She told me, “Because you are the only person I have ever met who actually makes their dreams reality.”

-Greatest compliment I ever received. And she and I are close to each other to this day.

Chasing dreams is too scary to most people. To me, the prospect of never chasing them is even more frightening.

I often wonder- which one of us is more courageous?

3

I think you got the point. People are not willing to give up on their job to pursuit a dream and most of people that do triathlons do it for fun and to stay fit, not to achieve any goal or get any prize money. And why turning Pro is a dream? Running a 10-hour Ironman will not take you anywhere, in fact if you do it you will probably miss the podium on most age-groups, but this is not your question.

Tom Evans is a dentist and he recently won IM Canada. He is a pro but still pratices medicine. Ok I know it’s only one day a week but if he can make a living from triathlon why doesn’t he just quit it? Life isn’t all about sport to everyone you know.

Many young triathletes dream of becoming Pro’s but how can they survive on the first years without results, money or support? Some have the luck of having support… some don’t.

“Many are called but few are chosen…”

4

Man, one thing I’ve never dreamed of is becoming a pro athlete. That is a very tough job. One of my best friends was a pro athlete (cyclist) for over 10 years. It took him years of devotion and hard work to get there, then his life was difficult and austere while he was a pro. He was never around, he didn’t have a set “home” and he worked very, very hard.

It has only been since his retirement that he has been around town, going on rides with us, hanging out in the bike shop.

That was a tough way to make a living. He made a good living, but it was very hard.

6

“Go confidently into the direction of your dreams! Live the life you always imagined”- Henry David Thoreau

7

I say you can do both. Like Tom I have not given up my “life” and still travel and reach for my goals. There is some room for compromise. You don’t have to abandon everything and move to some remote area, yet it takes discipline and resolve.

It would be hard to achieve any of the goals we talk about on this site without money. Some people cannot sacrifice the media-hyped consumer driven lifestyles most of the developed nations have. If people could accept a little lower standard of living then maybe they could reach their dreams. Who needs all the crap we are constantly trying to be sold anyways. Work 30 hours instead of 60 to train more. Make $25k instead of $40k. Have a cheaper car, apartment, house, TV, etc… It is really remarkable how little money you actually need to live a comfortable life and have time to train. Yet, people will not sacrifice their “creature comfort” items. So they become slaves to their stuff, and have to work to pay for all that stuff. Those are the same people who are never happy, b/c true happiness will not come from your lazy-boy and flat screen TV. Yet, it is hard to break free from that life. All those who are slaves will try and keep you as miserable as them.

I’ve lived by the motto: “Have less stuff, pay for experiences instead.”

I lived in a cabin for 3 months and realized what I really needed in life to survive. You better believe I had my running shoes, a lake, and my bike with me though. From that point on I didn’t need anything material. If I had food, shelter of some kind, health, love, and the ability to train I would be happy.

Anyone remember Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs form psychology? I think they were 1. self-actualization 2. esteem 3. love 4. safety (shelter) 5. physiological needs (food, water, air, exercise). I don’t see a Mercedes or a Prada handbag, or even a P3 on that list!

On a different note: for others their dream is raising their children, having a family, achieving success in their career field, or something else. Many people have sacrificed their tri career to achieve these other very noble goals. Some of the other things have more value to other people.

I guess it’s said best, “to each his own”.

Alot of rambling without too much consistent thought, but I’m feeding starving children Snickers and Kit Kats every minute or so.

My List, no specific order :

  1. Run a sub 3hr marathon

  2. Go do IM Lanzarote

  3. One day qualify for Kona

  4. Own 500+ rental properties

  5. Be the best father and husband I can be

  6. Not be so hard on myself and others

  7. Eco-challenge

  8. Climb Everest

  9. See all the continents, maybe run the Antarctic Marathon while I’m there

  10. Travel to space

  11. Add another 100 things to this list!

8

Mostly people are so caught up in their relentless drive for status and material wealth that they forget to look at the world with the sense of wonder they had as children.

I think another key point to remember is that families change an individual’s priorities. Children are more important than long-cherished dreams. However, it is crucial to live your dreams while you can because the pain of regret is sharp and unwaivering. How often to you see parents trying to live their dreams through their children?

I’m stuck at the moment - frustrated and undecided about my life. I am trying to teach myself about self-determination and proactivity, because a lot of the time I am paralysed by thought and indecision. My career is my main anxiety, rooted, I’m sure, in my unconscious desire to attain status in society. i have decided to lean less on the opinions of family and friends, and forget the preconceived notions of success.

Whether it is entrepreneurial spirit, the urge of exploration, or the desire to fathom the recesses of your intellect, there is one common character trait: self-belief. This is the faith that despite your doubts and the societal norms, following your dreams will enrich your mind, steel your resolve, and sweep away the clouds so that only the beacon of self-determination remains.

10

Here’s my list:

  1. Get my masters belt (4th degree) in Tae kwon do. Will happen this may.

  2. Complete an iron distance tri in celebration of my 40th birthday. will probably be Ultramax 2005

  3. Hike the Appalachian trail in one trip. I’ve done a lot of section hiking on it but would like to do a thru hike.

  4. Try mountain climbing. No specific climb in mind, would just like to try it.

  5. Eventually own a small bit of land and grow or raise a lot of my own food.

  6. Take one of the ideas for a Science Fiction novel that are running around in my head and actually put it on paper.

  7. Make a meaningful impact in childrens fitness, which is where we need to start if we are to ever slim down America.

Like most lists some of these will get done and some won’t. There never seems to be enough time for everything.

11

Mr. Tibbs, that was very impressive.

12

"Why do some of us continue lifestyles that leave us less fulfilled than we could be if we lived with reckless abandon? "

Have kids and you’ll then know. All of a sudden it’s not about you any more.

13

there’s more to life than triathlon (yes, even the one in hawaii). it’s a hobby, not a way of life.

14

it’s a hobby, not a way of life.

Your lifestyle is a declaration of value. Any and every action is a statement that nothing else you could be doing at that moment is more important. Most of our actions, and consequent styles of life, declare triathlon to be pretty valuable. What you value and derive meaning from is, or should be, a way of life. Just my two cents, much of it courtesy of Sartre.

15

My dreams:

  1. Get a lap dance from Charlize Theron. Will never happen. Would settle for Gwen Stefani, Nicole Kidman or Angelina Jolie, which will never happen. This is the impossible dream, and beyond impossible to have a lap dance from all of those women.

  2. Get this back rehabbed so I can compete again.

  3. Have a Lola T70 Spyder in my garage.

  4. Ride the amateur Tour de France (Etape, is it called?). The pro TdF dream went away a few years ago.

17

jcash said it best:

How many times have
You heard someone say
If I had his money
I could do things my way

But little they know
That it’s so hard to find
One rich man in ten
With a satisfied mind

Once I was waitin’
In fortune and fame
Everything that I dreamed for
To get a start in life’s game

Then suddenly it happened
I lost every dime
But I’m richer by far
With a satisfied mind

Money can’t buy back
Your youth when you’re old
Or a friend when you’re lonely
Or a love that’s grown cold

The wealthiest person
Is a pauper at times
Compared to the man
With a satisfied mind

When my life has ended
And my time has run out
My friends and my loved ones
I’ll leave there’s no doubt

But one thing’s for certain
When it comes my time
I’ll leave this old world
With a satisfied mind

How many times have
You heard someone say
If I had his money
I could do things my way

But little they know
That it’s so hard to find
One rich man in ten
With a satisfied mind
.

18

“own 500+ rental properties”

Dude, that is like getting cancer recreationally. What are you thinking?

19

This bring up a side discussion.

How do some of you folks come to terms with dreams that have died?

My biggest dream was to be a fighter pilot. Well, that dream came crashed and burned the day I got my first perscription for glasses.

I was bitter for many years and often times refused to wear my glasses as a sort of feeble protest against genetics and destiny.

I even persued a degree in aero engineering as a way of giving the finger to my fate. Though it seems as though fate has the last laugh as I find the prospect of conceptualizing aircraft not nearly as appealing as actually flying them.

After some years I eventually made my peace, moved on to find other dreams to pursue. Though, in retrospect I wasted alot of time and energy being bitter.

How have others dealt with this sort of thing?

20

well, I just wonder what it is in your life that has triggered this? I’m sure it was a build up of things over time, but something has triggered you to finally take action. What was it?

the key for me is not having alot of obligations financially. my income has gone up buy not my cost of living. honestly, I could make it on 1500 a month–and this includes spending money. our only debt is the house (and we choose to live in a modest house and not become house poor). when someone is in this position, there is alot of freedom to make decisions to have freedom.

literally, i could work part time and be a-ok. this feels good to me. so, if one day I decide to bag it and become a training vagabond, then I can do it.

people do what their priorities are. for most, it’s keeping up with the Jones’s that most important to them, and therefore they are overextended and have obligations out the wazo. I like to live so that if I want to bag it, I can, and everything would be fine. my husband and I are on this same page. freedom is number one. so, essentially, we do get to live the way we really want to. the only thing I would do more of is travel, or get more involved in missionary work of some sort.

no regrets. do it today. and I agree with the poster who said do it for others, then you have gratification. that’s so true.

21
  1. Get out of debt

I love that getting out of debt came in at only #7. Is this a great country or what?

22

kittycat-

Probably seems like a mid-life crisis. I’m 21.

Last weekend I re-read Kierkegaard’s Two Ages. K never fails to prompt me to do a gut check, realizing that every day is a revolution of choice.

Caleb

23

well, it’s not a midlife crisis, it’s wisdom and instincts hunting you down and making you think. I’d be interested to know what you’re doing now…career wise, or if you’re in college, etc. maybe you feel instinctually that you’re making decisions that aren’t in alignment with what your heart and soul wants to do.

remember, when you do the things you REALLY want to do when you’re young, that’s easy. it’s starting a family and career and THEN making the decision to bag some of it that’s hard.

I always tell young people to do what they really want to do. there is plenty of time to settle in and do status quo later, trust me. that cubicle isn’t going anywhere…neither is 9-5.

so, tell us. what are you doing now? school, or career, or relationship wise?

kitty