On my last glorious 1 1/2 hour bike ride I got tired of counting cows 235…236…321… so I started making a list. Aluminum is the best material for bikes and heres why:
It gives you a nice ass. Just think of all those wonderful road vibes twitching away at your posterior. Carbon riders are soggy butts.
It keeps you sports drink mixed. No powder laying on the bottom here, it stays liquidy and yummy. Super blender.
It helps you to memorize courses better. Titanium just kinda makes everything smooth. Not aluminum. Aluminum allows me to memorize every single pothole, crack, dip, ridge and seperation there is in the road. I swear, I can ride some of my favorite courses blind folded. Hmmm, that felt like the pothole right in front of stop sign, better slowdown. GPS of the soul.
The musical hum is intoxicating. Screw Eminem, aerosmith nothin. My aluminum beauty hums all sorts of catchy songs. Hmmmmm. hmmmmmm.hhhmmmmm! I can even hear it in my sleep. My bikes a rock star.
It’s elite. Pro’s strive to ride it, but very few ever get to. Come on, when was the last time you saw a regular aluminum steed roolin under a pro at kona? Not recently. And no those week ass imposters that claim to make aluminum soft, they don’t count. (We all know cervelo’s are being made out of some yet to be declassified military titanium.) When I show up at the race, people gauk! Aluminum, Wow, he must be good! Sexy.
And the absolute greatest reason. When I’m riden along at mile thirty, or fourty, or fifty, and you look up on your pansey franken bike that cost more, rides smoother, and weighs less. Just think, you aren’t working as hard, but I’m still beatin ya!
I just got off 120 miles on my aluminum bike and it didn’t do any of those things. I still have all my filling and I only really remeber a couple of bumps, the really big speed bump sized ones that I bunny hopped. Oh wait does it count if my Aluminum bike has this funny carbon fiber beam sticking out of it?
Your post made me laugh. I still cannot ascertain whether or not you are being serious.
By the way- unless your aluminium bike is made of the cheapest, most horrendous material, it will be lighter than any Frankenbike; that is, unless it’s a scandium frankenbike. It will be neck-and-neck in weight.
I have ridden all of the materials for long enough times. One of the most comfortable, yet noodly bike I had ever ridden was a Vitus. I wish I could still had that one in particular. It even had a <------------------gasp! an INTEGRATED HEADSET!!! (it was a Mavic real headset bonded into place).
The stiffest I have ever ridden? A Corima Cougar track bike. I think there are something like 15 or 17 layers of high modulus carbon fibre goodness in that thing. That thing was cigar store indian stiff, and it would have easily rattled the fillings from your teeth on the road. In my competitive days, I would have asked Corima to make one like this for the road. The guy who owned it had to TRY HARD to pry it from my furry paws.
My ultimate opinion on bike material in general: the design, the method of building, and the geometry have more to do with the comfort and stiffness than anything.
My new Fort steel Thorn frame is on it’s way from Ca. to me . I should get it the 9th. I am riding the alcan bike for the last few times. If it would stop snowing.