Why don't we want to be happy?

The Coffee Shop
1

Having studied happiness for most of my life: Yes, I have a degree in it, I have discovered that all in all there’s not much demand for it. So much so that I have had to make my career as a middle manager in a number of large computer companies instead. Most people, when approached on the subject of their personal happiness, are quick to assure you that they have enough, already, thanks, and are not in need of any more. In their more unguarded moments they will reveal a desperate sense of loneliness and apartness from everything that acts as a sad undertone to everything they do.

I can see any number of ways to be happy that address the problem, such as accepting Jesus Christ as my saviour, becoming a practicing Buddhist or simply some sort of pagan earth worshipper. People who do so seem demonstrably happy to me, and I can pass many happy hours in their company, but it just doesn’t appeal to me to join them in their beliefs. Any idea why?

2

People who do so seem demonstrably happy to me, and I can pass many happy hours in their company, but it just doesn’t appeal to me to join them in their beliefs. Any idea why?

No, I don’t know why. I, for one, did not become a Christian to increase my happiness. I did it because I was convinced that Jesus Christ was exactly who he said he was and did exactly what the Gospels said he did. The behavior of his followers after the Resurrection is very convincing to me. I’m not saying that everyone that seeks religion (or more specifically a perosnal relationship with God) finds the fulfillment they were seeking … but I know very few that were really looking and never found anything worthwhile. Have you really been looking?

IMO, religious people may seem more happy (and may actually be), because most religions teach a way of thinking of “be happy with what you have”, “be humble”, “be grateful”, etc. When you take pride (not confidence), arrogance, greed, etc out of your life … you can’t help but display more gratitude and happiness.

Now, about happiness … It is simply amazing to me how many people just seem to drift through the day without smiling, laughing, joking, saying hello to everyone, etc. It’s like they’re just waiting for happiness to sprint down the street and jump into their body. These folks let the most trivial setback ruin their day, and they worry about every little thing as if it were a catastrophy.

IMO, that is one area that religion does help me personally. I worry about very little. I don’t know if God tests me continually or not, but I have bad things happen. Some of these things are out of my control, some are because of my willful actions, some are due to procrastination, etc. I don’t know if God causes these things, but I am pretty certain God notices how I respond to them. To me , to worry is to doubt God. I worry about very little. It’s pointless and it increases stress.

“God grant me the Courage to change the things I can. Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change … and the Wisdom to know the difference.” I love that prayer … I just threw it in for no particular reason.

Another aspect religion has helped me is a personality of gratitude. I could go on forever with this. My prayers are line after line of “Thank you Lord for …”. I’m thankful for the things I have. When we’re at the dinner table, I see everything I need and need to be thankful for (health, family, food, shelter, love, etc). I wasn’t near as grateful or appreciative as I am now as I strive to live a “Christian Life” (some days more successful than others).

3

Most people derive satisfaction from their work, company growth, if your high enough in the company to feel the profits. Other people couldn’t care less, what their job is, just $$$$$$$ counts. Very few wake up looking forward to work, Like me.

There is angst / fever with age. Will I out live her, health questions, Will I have a good retirement?
The sadness of dying friends and family,

5

Sojourner,

Its definitely wanting to know rather than just to believe, and knowledge seems deeper than belief, its a very strong pull not just to believe what I am told, but to work it out for myself. I suspect it is the same for most people. But the more I find out, the more it seems there is to know: it seems like deceit to find an answer and declare that there is no need to enquire further. Maybe that is our true mission and why we are always driven by a feeling of dissatisfaction: there is always more to find out, and we mistake this need for the need to have a plasma TV and some deep dish carbon rims.

7

For people who truly believe and feel connected to God, it is that all encompassing energy source. If you think God is a finite source, then you don’t believe in God as Christianity teaches, so for you, maybe you keep looking for an infinite source. For Christians, God is infinite, and his love is infinite.

That said, religion is not the belief in God and his love, but rather the way we worship or practice together to celebrate that belief. There are nearly endless numbers of ways to practice religion that are separate from the faith itself.

8

Happiness is a state of mind. Thankfully we don’t all share the same beliefs or I think I would be bored to death. I find that I am usually happy. Why? If I had a single answer I would bottle it and freely distribute it. There are some simple things you can do to improve your situation…

Take responsibility for all of your actions. Yes you will screw up from time to time but that’s normal. It’s ok to be human. Just remember admitting your mistakes is 1000 times better than running away from them.

If you are unhappy about something either change the “problem” or change yourself. Griping about things and not lifting a finger to change the situation(s) just leads to more unhappiness.

Alcohol/drugs never made a situation better for the long term. The longer it takes someone to face a bad situation the longer the recovery time. If something bothers you address it immediately

Have goals and meet them. Don’t wander aimlessly in the sea of life. If you always wanted to live by the ocean and you live in Nebraska get off your butt and move. Take a chance. Failure is not as bad as you may think it is.

Don’t look to others to make you happy. True happiness comes from within. If you ask God to make you happy and you are still sad is it really Gods fault?

“Laugh it up. HA! Remember you didn’t ask to come here anyway.”