Why?. (1)

Triathlon Forum
1

Many of you have read about my bike crash and broken neck. Some of you are probably tired of me whining about it. Well, read on–this is not going to be a whine.

Since my accident, I have been asking myself the question, “Why?”

Fifty percent of the people with my injury end up paralyzed or dead. I am neither. In fact, once my bones heal, I should be close to 100 percent. Why? Why them and not me?

I almost never see people in front of the house where I ended up on the road. Yet when my accident happened, people suddenly materialized and called 911. If not for them being there, I might have tried to get up and get back on my bike. Why? Why were they there then and not at other times?

After I was misdiagnosed by the first hospital and sent home with an unstable neck injury, with loose bone fragments, improperly secured, and spent 20 hours feeling like a bobble-head doll, I had no further damage to my neck, spinal cord, or spinal artery. Why? How could this be?

After reliving this scenario over and over in my mind, I can only come to one conclusion–God was looking over me. There are too many coincidences for my “luck” to be statistically possible. The question again is, “Why?” Certainly not because I have been such a great person in the past, because I clearly have not. I can only conclude that God still has a plan for me to carry out here on earth. Now the question becomes one of, “What?” What is it I am supposed to do?

You may think this is egotistical on my part–that God would care individually about me, but I believe God cares about each and every one of us. Every night when I go to bed now, I do two things. First, I thank God for delivering me from paralysis or death. Second, I ask God to reveal what his plans are for me. I know it won’t come in the form of an apparition of Jesus or the Virgin Mary, but in the form of an idea that just seems right. Maybe it will be in the form of putting on a race to benefit spinal injury research or something of that manner. I don’t know, but I will keep looking for the answer.

Why am I putting this out on the internet to a bunch of “strangers?” I don’t know really, but I know several people who visit here have had similar experiences. Maybe they can help and maybe not. But, just putting these thoughts down in writing is something I have been wanting to do. Thanks for listening.

2

Tri_bri2,

Your thoughts are part of the recovery process. I too was involved in an accident back in 1993, where I was mugged, beaten to the point of unconsciousness, left in the middle of the street, just to have a car drive over my body with the front wheel, drag me 35 yards, then run over me with the rear wheel. I’d died that night, yet the Dr.'s were able to revive me.

I had the same thoughts you expressed in your post. It was recommended to me to see a shrink to talk these thoughts through. At 23 years old (at the time) it did help.

12 years later, I can’t say I know the answer to why I’m still alive. I do know that I have created 3 wonderful daughters and have a great wife. I still think there are other reason’s why I’m here. I won’t know if I found them untill I’m on my death bed again.

Good luck with the recovery.

3

At least, that has been my reaction to a near-miss (2 inches? six?) with a car crossing my path at 50 MPH. He laid rubber for about 75 yds, got out, and said to me, “just be careful.”

No one cares why. And you can’t do anything about it anyway. You should spend your time making sure you do the next right thing. If the one-in-a-million odds make for a good reminder/mantra that helps you keep doing the next right thing, then, in my experience, it’s good to keep thinking about that one-in-a-million break.

If that close call is like a koan or some meditation on first philosophy, then you’ll just sit around, and if you just sit around, then nothing’s gonna happen.

If you catch a break, go out and do good things.

Andrew Moss

4

That “what” may not even be something that seems “right”. Think of Jonah. Didn’t think it was right, didn’t want to go. But circumstances said otherwise.

I agree with you – you have something left to accomplish.

5

After reliving this scenario over and over in my mind, I can only come to one conclusion–God was looking over me. There are too many coincidences for my “luck” to be statistically possible. The question again is, “Why?” Certainly not because I have been such a great person in the past, because I clearly have not. I can only conclude that God still has a plan for me to carry out here on earth. Now the question becomes one of, “What?” What is it I am supposed to do?

Too bad He wasn’t watching a couple of minutes earlier…

6

Dude, been there. Keep it coming. You’ll figure it out, but its a process. You aren’t the only one to heed this sort of wakeup call.

7

I agree with you. I think every person, every incident has a purpose. Maybe this accident will cause you to dig deep and determine what your purpose is. IMO, too many people go through life taking everything for granted. An incident like this is a real wake-up call to our own mortality. Good luckfinding your niche.

8

You know, I could look at it that way. But, I am choosing to look at the positive aspects and not the negative. I feel that focusing on the negative would just embitter me. For example, my wife was complaining about our unpaid medical expenses the other day. I got a little irritated and I told her that we should be thankful instead of complaining–that we have so far gotten 91 percent of the bills paid by insurance instead of complaining about the 9 percent we have had to pay.

9

“You should spend your time making sure you do the next right thing.”

That’s a pearl. I’ll hold on to that. Thanks.

10

After reliving this scenario over and over in my mind, I can only come to one conclusion–God was looking over me. There are too many coincidences for my “luck” to be statistically possible. The question again is, “Why?” Certainly not because I have been such a great person in the past, because I clearly have not. I can only conclude that God still has a plan for me to carry out here on earth. Now the question becomes one of, “What?” What is it I am supposed to do?
Too bad He wasn’t watching a couple of minutes earlier…

He probably was watching, which is exactly why things unfolded the way they did…

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking in anything.” - James 1:2-4

11

Because.

(that’s what my Mom always said to me when I asked “why?”)

It just wasn’t your time yet.

I’ve personally been ridiculously “lucky” in the manner you descibe (accidents not being a whole lot worse than they were) , and should have been killed or crippled at least a handful of times already. Carpe Diem my friend. Every day is a gift, and tomorrow is promised to no one.

Best of luck for a speedy and complete recovery.

12

I know your thought all to well…“why” you ask…cause you are here for a reason and god has a plan. Keep your head up and be strong. Most of the reason you will bounce back so well is that you took care of yourself better than most. If you were an over weight smoker who was on a bike ride with the same scenario - trust me, you would not be typing right now.

It will also get harder - physical therepy gets old and trying. Felxibility and stregth will seem slow to return…and then there will be fear again. I still freeze up when I see a dog running out - probably always will. I know it seems self gratifying, but it feels good to sometimes show off my scars and x-rays…and say “I did it” - then “so can you” to a patient who you may meet in your travels into and out of the medical world.

If it does not kill you…

13

Anybody that has had a near death experience will likely ask themselves the same questions. I know I have. As to whether this can be contributed to God or not really depends upon how religious you are and what you wish to believe.

14

You chart the path ahead of me and tell me where to stop and rest. Every moment you know where I am. Psalm 139:3

The Lord will work out his plans for my life. Psalm 138:8

The Lord says “I will guide you along the best pathways for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.” Psalm 32:8

I hope your recovery is going well. Blessings on you. It would seem that the Lord has something new and special in mind for you.