I heard a great one today…
I was running stairs on my lunch break, and a fella sat down and watched my whole workout - 45 minutes or so. I’m just getting ready to run back to work/warm down, when the guy saunters up to me and says:
“Gee… I need to do that - so I can fly my kite better…”
I kid you not. I even asked him if he knew what day it was, and he didn’t blink.
Yikes.
MH
hahahahaha, i love it!!!
i’ve been called a flaming homo before for wearing running shorts by 3 guys in the back of a pickup truck…but that’s about it…
nothing really stands out…
A few years ago I was impersonating Dan Emfield while running. I was in Hilcrest (San Diego’s Gay area.)
During my running impersonation, the running form was so similar to Slowman’s, a gay man on roller skates rolled by me and said, “hey Dan, don’t forget to come by my loft after your run for a little cool down.”
I thought that was kind of odd.
Just last night I was doing a serious run and while waiting to cross a street a man asked me for a cigarette! I just looked at him and he said “I guess that means you don’t have one, huh?”
Aloha,
Larry
i was on the rollers doing intervals beside my house. my friend leaned out the window and said:
“where are you going in such a hurry?”
Similar to Pedersens…while running/jogging someone I know will pull up in their car and ask if I need a ride anywhere…!!! Do I look that bad?!
Another interesting one…walking into the health club after a run to shower off and someone asks if I’ve been swimming.
One that hubby and I laugh about frequently happend about 10 years ago while riding our bikes on Queen K. We had turned down into the Natural Energy Lab and had JUST finished commenting to each other on what a perfect day it was with barely any wind (for Kona I guess). Just then a German pulls up next to us, sweaty and gasping and asks if it’s always that windy in Kona. Obviously it was his first Ironman in Kona. He rode back to town with us and we’ve been friends with him since.
I kind of liked the time in the last half of the marthon in my first IM I was walking along with a lovely lady by the name of Jenny Schmitz from Seattle. She gave me a long explanation of why her boyfriend wasn’t in town with her After patiently wading through the the lame excuses I commented “So I guess you will be getting a new boyfriend now.”
She was more than a little surprised at such a comment from a total stranger. She did not disagree however.
An old lady asked me," Do you really ride like that all of the time?"
I answered yes, and then she said, “Well that’s good so you can keep those great legs you have!”
She looked kinda creepy pushing her shopping cart around the street…
I’ve received the swimming comment as well. My 7 yr old niece was staying with us for a week in the summer. I come back from a long run in the TX summer and my niece sees he. She gets this look on her face, puts her hands on her hips and asks in her best accusatory voice, “Uncle Tom, did you go swimming without me?”
I was using one of the support beams in my gym to stretch when an elderly man came up beside me. He looks at me, then up the beam, down to the ground, back up to the top of the beam, then back at me and in a very serious/disappointed voice says “Son, you aint never gonna pull that beam down”. Then walks away shaking his head.
A few years back “in the day” my training partner and I were midway through the last run of a 40m-6m-40m-6m bike-run-bike-run brick session.
“Dude, how much is ‘too much’ blood in your urine?”
Over the years that has evolved to “how much is ‘too much’ blood in your stool.” While training with the uninitiated, it can create wonderful reactions.
This was after a marathon: A friend of mine from a rural area had just run his 1st marathon in about 2:25. He goes home and his grandmother is visiting the house. She asks how the race went and he tells her that he was about 25th place overall. 84 year old Grandma, expecting to hear that he has placed 1st or 2nd as usual, says in her kindest voice “well, it’s better than I could do”.
I was out with a friend on his first century ride when we came up on a huge turkey vulture, he eyed us as we went by, I turned to my friend, “He knows its your first 100 miler.”
.
VERY recently during a long run I had a guy tell my girlfriend and I to “Watch out for the cocks down there” - “they will chace you”. So here I am thinking about what I am going to do when we run up to whom ever this guy is calling “cocks”. So, we get to a small wood…just then some damn roosters come running out of the woods and chase us down the path crowing and cack-a-doodle-doo’ing…I about puked from laughing.
A friend was running on a treadmill in a very chic gym here in Beirut. Next to him was an old guy doing some 1950’s stretching routine. The old guy suddenly says to my friend, “hey…can you stop getting sweat on my cell phone ?”. My friend says…“this is a gym buddy, people get sweaty…anyway…what are you doing down there ?”
Old Dude: “Working Out”
Friend: “Doesn’t look like it”
I’ve gotten on several occasions…
oh…wow… so ***you’re ***a triahtlon?
While laying on the road in a serious bonk in 100F temps after 90 miles of riding…
“If I’m drooling, that means I’m not dehydrated, right?”
While running down the street a neighbor yells, “Are those your legs? or are you riding a chicken?”
I use that one all the time now.
Joel
While riding my bike, a couple guys in a truck using a pretty good gay voice yelled: “Forget the Tour de France and come take a tour of my pants!”
.
We have a pack of old ladies who show up at the pool about 6:30 in the morning, usually about halfway through my workout. These ladies take up the far lane, and just sort of float around with the flotation belts, and gossip with each other, and they generally don’t bother anyone, except for the fact that they take up a lane that I think could be put to better use that early, but that’s beside the point.
Anyway last week, I get out of the pool (and I’m in just my speedo brief, of course) and I’m collecting my stuff and putting my kickboard away and all that, and suddenly I feel this gentle slap on my ass. I turn around and its one of these old ladies, spanking me with her flotation belt. She just looks at me and winks, and says, “I’ve wanted to do that to you for a long time, sweetie…”
I guess I know what they gossip about now.
I have to say I was flattered, in a weird way. I wish she was about 50 years younger, though!