a friend failed to pay back another friend ? A friend did IMAZ and had to borrow the entry fee from another friend ($4XX). Long story short he has not paid back the money . It seems every time we see him he has purchased something (new watch, oakleys,etc). The friend who loaned the money does not like confrontation so I’ve asked him if he wants me to say something (its been several months). When they see each other neither one brings it up.
I would say he’s not much of a “Friend” if he’s pulling that kind of stuff!!!
and i would call him on it.
Dan…
I would ask him about it - he may have forgotten, and at least it would eliminate that as a further excuse.
Personally, I think I’d be inclined to mind my own business.
I’m in Vitus979’s camp on this one.
Yep, you’re right. I just don’t like seeing someone taken advantage of…
I would agree w/ everyone who said stay out of it.
But I’m also of the mind if you loan any substantial amount of money to a friend and you want to keep that friend then you should look at it like a gift not a loan, until its been paid back. If you don’t want to keep the friend then do what it takes to get your money back.
My brother in law tried to pull that crap with me, so I showed up at his house and started to remove things from his house that were of equal value to what he owed me. (technically robbery) He paid me back eventually but our relationship has been less then close since… I’ve never lost much sleep over it.
As others have said, I would stay out of this.
The reality is this is a reasonably to very expensive sport. It amazes me how for some people, their whole life and financial situation seems to revolve around triathlon. Their needs to be some other things firmly in place - rent/mortgage, food, support for dependants, saving for the future etc . . . before triathlon expenses start to chew up ones budget. Sadly, for some, this or some other thing starts to take over the really important things in their lives.
Fleck
There’s no real way to handle this but here’s my $.02.
It’s really an issue between them. But I’d encourage your friend who is owed the money to contact the other guy. It the guy who owes the money is a close friend to you IMO it wouldn’t be inappropriate to mention it to him also.
I’d choose a couple good pick-up lines and go talk to that cute girl at the bike store.
As an aside to what you said, I am surprised on how many people that post bike pictures seem to have barren living quarters.
Tim, LOL!!
I had never thought about that, but you are right.
There have been some threads, here and over on Gordo’s site recently that have led me to believe that for some people, their lives ARE completely revolving around triathlon to the point that they are in some form of financial stress or trouble - to the point that they are openly and publicly stating it in a forum or questioning what’s going on. Obviously, this is NOT a good situation to be in.
On the whole this sport attracts those that are reasonably well off, with moderate to high incomes, but I suspect that there is a group that is bigger than you think, that find it rather expensive to keep up the game.
Note this is not to say that you can’t enjoy a fit and healthy life-style - that’s a relativly inexpensive thing to do, but triathlon with all the gear, and all the time, and all the money that needs to be invested to race an IM, IS and expensive undertaking.
Fleck
I just make the deal with my wife that if I spend $XXXX (note the number of X’s) on bikes and stuff, then she gets the same amount to spend on whatever she wants. Trust me…she’s got tons of money to spend before she catches up with me!! Triathlon is very expensive if you like toys (see my tag line) and I’ve got tons of toys.
The difference is that it sounds like you have lot’s of XXXX’s after the $- mark in your household. My sense from some of the discussions I’ve seen recently that there are some/many that don’t.
Fleck
Its been my observation, the more $xxxx’s in a household, the more Hxx:Mxx:Sxx in a finishing time. Furthermore the more xxlbs on the scale!
Well, Iwas not going to go there or connect those dots . . . but . . .
Fleck
I would weigh whether $400 was worth more or less than his friendship. Or decide if he/she is a friend or someone who shares the same space to workout in. Having moved several times, I thought some of my friends were bloodbrothers and would be friends forever, however they never called or even wrote a x-mas card. After I sent a bunch. Other people who I thought were more casual friends, call, e-mail, write and even invite me on vacations. Strange world this one, pick your friends well as you only have one shot a this life. G
Maybe he forgot. I am always to generous with that. Although I hate confrontation, I usualy mention when I would like to be paid back. A week or so before that, I usually ask about the money. Any made up excuse works for me. If you are that desprate to lie, you need the cash more than me. Although when I really want my money
back, I ask where my money is everytime I see them (before they get a Hello). Annoyance goes a long way in my cirlce of friends.
I am not racing much this year because I am not bringing in as much money. Sucks, but that is the way it is for me. No weekly massage either. When I have a roommate that lives with me, I race just about every weekend and get a massage. That is where that money goes. No roomie, I pick my races carefully. Lots of volunteering this year 
Indeed, as life goes on, you really do get to know who your true friends are. I work in outside sales, and am both by nature and necessity someone who stays in contact with many people. What amazes me is how people come and go. We seem to live such extraordinarily busy lives these days, just getting together for dinner with a small group of friends or arranging a family gathering becomes a significant strategic effort.
My absolute best group of friends outside of my family get together once a year. It’s become a bit of a tradition and we have been doing it now for 10+ years. Ironically, it revolves around a running road race in the middle of the Canadian winter! Some run, some just come for the party. Whatever, everyone drops everything and makes it a top priority to get together that Sunday in January every year.
Fleck
I would also stay out of it. However, this should be a lesson to the rest of us… don’t lend money to your friends, unless it is an emergency. I hardly think that an entry fee to an IM is an emergency, more like a luxury. I’m all for bailing out a friend, but $4xx for an IM fee is above and beyond. If your friend has that kind of money to lend out then he can probably afford not to be paid back.