just wondering…is it mileage? lifestyle? spending about 6K or more on a bike (like Tom D just did)? wishing you were on the road instead of hanging out with boring acquaintances? thinking you “never ride” when the average miles per week is around 100?
what makes a roadie, a roadie?
hmmmmmm…
meow.
kittycat
A total lack of upperbody.
The complete and utter lack of any grace while running.
And let’s not talk about swimming.
That’s why some of us ski in the winter. Get buff in the winter, get dropped in the spring. The latest gal I was dating liked the fact that I didn’t look like a roadie.
When you ride it is rarely, if ever off road.
All rides are referred to as ‘short’.
ok, that’s just funny…i can relate to that. everytime i go out i tell my husband, “going for a spin, i’ll be right back”. 5 hours later i come home and he says, “quick spin, huh?” yet i still insist it was. lol.
also i have about 100 folded up previously wet/then dry maps…lying all around the bedroom. that’s kind of gross, isn’t it. lol!
Anyone wearing a Team uniform (especially those with matching shorts, jersey, and helmet).
Ability to ride elbow-to-elbow with 100 other “roadies” in a pack trying to go around the same corner at the same time at 35 MPH.
Always pondering: “what’s the point of running or swimming when you have a perfectly good bike to ride?”
Will not… absolutely will NOT wear a Speedo on a bicycle.
They usually have a rainbow on the back of their Pink helmets…
You have to be a total ass to anyone who isn’t just like you.
You mean not wearing the same team uniform 
.
That “gods gift to the world” complex that many roadies have is very correct.
I’ll be riding along and give a short wave to a roadie and they look and do nothing. I’ve finally been able to tell who’s a roadie and who isn’t…what a rude bunch of folks.
I have yet to find a roadie who has any sort of grace or humbleness about them…must be all of that bike riding they do…their crotch must be bothering them all the time or something.
#1 - Drafting. 
#2 - Pipe-cleaner arms, w/ farmer’s tan from Hell.
#3 - Shaved legs, but only if in presence of #1 & #2
#4 - Attitude. Road bikes are the one true God; all other riders on any other sort of bike (and those who don’t have #1-3 as well) are lesser beings, to be scoffed at and treated with disdain.
#5 - Water bottles. You can only have 2 bottles at all times, and they must be one each on the downtube and seattube. Any other means of hydration is instant roadie disqualification.
All of the above are why, regardless of how much I ever ride my road bike on the road, I’ll never be a roadie. ;-p
The tendancy to ride like a yo-yo, but still end up at the end in front of the antler bar crowd.
Annoying habit of sneering at everyone not on a road bike
Ability to move like a flock of birds careening down a road at 35mph, riders 6 inches away on every side.
Never riding more than 3 or 4 hours.
Skinny little arms
Too few helmets
Ridiculous little caps with the brim bent up.
Ability to sprint up a hill like no triathlete can.
A roadie is a highschool football player with out all of the muscle, popularity, or girlfriends.
Kittycat, your too cool to be a roadie.
A belief that if God intended us to be runners, He wouldn’t have given us bikes.
A belief that getting down on the drops will make you just as aero as using aero bars.
A belief that mountain bikers like to play in the mud and triathletes crash regularly.
“A roadie is a highschool football player with out all of the muscle, popularity, or girlfriends.”
In other words, the kicker.
Kittycat, your too cool to be a roadie.
…**you’re **too cool…
Add to the list: an attitude so bad one might join a tri board and correct the grammar of trigeeks!
They can’t sing or play an instrument, but they can lift heavy things and fix stuff. They take care of the skanks the bands doesn’t care for, and will bust some heads if asked to.
Every travelling band needs 'em, but the Metal ones get the most recognition.
Anyone wearing a Team uniform (especially those with matching shorts, jersey, and helmet).
Um, bows and turns head so as not to be clearly heard as he says, “guilty”, but only for team training rides and races! Actually, last night I saw a large group of people participating in a training session for an adventure race and many of them where wearing matching jerseys, shorts, and socks (they were running so no helmets) of a local triathlon club so to some extent I don’t think that counts as quality that is unique only to ‘roadies’!