So I’m heading to a wedding this Thursday where the rehearsal dinner is that night and the wedding is Friday. The groom has decided that there are no dates invited to the rehearsal dinner as it gives the wedding party time to “mingle.” I do not know anyone in the wedding except the groom and will probably never see any of them again but with this dinner, I have to leave my wife in a hotel room for probably 2 hours to twiddle her thumbs. Bad wedding ettiquette?
On a side note, I’m showing up in tux on the wedding day 3.5 hours before gametime for pictures. Is this normal or am ridiculous? Good thing it’s fall temps in ohio.
Take what I say with a grain of salt b/c I abhor all the wedding pomp and circumstance.
IMO, total dick move, especially if you have people coming from out of town.
My daughter was supposed to get married this August. Thank gawd she called it off. The entire wedding “show” is utter bullshit. Pre-wedding pictures. Post-wedding pictures. Having the ceremony, then, making your guest sit with their thumbs up their asses for 3+ hours between the wedding and the reception so more bullshit pictures can be taken. It is a joke. It is a sham for people to make money.
I heard a statistic on the radio the other day that said weddings were either 3rd or 4th in most expensive things on which people spend money. It was something like: 1) House, 2) Education, 3) Vehicles, 4) Wedding. Something like that. Insane.
Huff Post thinks it is a dick move. They agree with me:
Guest List
Selecting a guest list for the rehearsal dinner can be somewhat difficult. You can’t invite everyone who is attending the wedding so it requires that certain cuts be made. All members of the wedding party are a given as they are not only the people who are closest to the bride and groom, but are also required to attend the actual rehearsal. Parents and grandparents fall into the no brainer category as well. I have been asked whether or not those guests traveling from out of town should be invited and my answer to this is always yes. I understand that these specific individuals may not be the closest to the hosts but they have spent time and money to be there for the occasion, so they deserve to be included in all stages of the celebration.
The other catch is, on a positive note, that I have the Chicago marathon this weekend and was told about the wedding 3/4 through my training. It would have sucked if I had to miss the marathon and double suck if the wedding blew chunks. As you can read, I’m not too optimistic.
The other catch is, on a positive note, that I have the Chicago marathon this weekend and was told about the wedding 3/4 through my training. It would have sucked if I had to miss the marathon and double suck if the wedding blew chunks. As you can read, I’m not too optimistic.
It would only suck if you agreed to attend the wedding instead of running the marathon. The choice is always yours. I do not think it is a dick move but more on the selfish side. For those who flew in with families and/or partners, an exception should be made. Since this is bothereing you so much, attend the rehersal but skip the dinner to be with your wife. If your friend gets booty bent, tell him he will understand when he is in the same situation.
it might be slightly dickish, but it’s the man’s wedding. put on your big boy pants and take one for the team. it’s his big day, fergawdsakes. so go, smile, be helpful, be really friendly with the rest of the wedding party, and suck it up.
it might be slightly dickish, but it’s the man’s wedding. put on your big boy pants and take one for the team. it’s his big day, fergawdsakes. so go, smile, be helpful, be really friendly with the rest of the wedding party, and suck it up.
So I’m heading to a wedding this Thursday where the rehearsal dinner is that night and the wedding is Friday. The groom has decided that there are no dates invited to the rehearsal dinner as it gives the wedding party time to “mingle.” I do not know anyone in the wedding except the groom and will probably never see any of them again but with this dinner, I have to leave my wife in a hotel room for probably 2 hours to twiddle her thumbs. Bad wedding ettiquette?
On a side note, I’m showing up in tux on the wedding day 3.5 hours before gametime for pictures. Is this normal or am ridiculous? Good thing it’s fall temps in ohio.
The no date thing to the rehearsal dinner is ridiculous and beyond the pale with regard to tackiness. Personally I’d tell my friend to not be a cheap bastard but that’s just me and if I wasn’t in the wedding party I wouldn’t even go, but let me guess no out of town guests invited either.
Every out of town guest should be invited.
Anyone with a role in the wedding and their date should be invited.
Close family members should be invited.
It’s sad American etiquette has fallen this far.
Pictures before is not odd, just a pain in the ass. After the ceremony is more traditional but I’m guessing the bride wants an assload of pictures for her special day.
Weddings are ridiculous. I hate the show, the build up, the “rules”, the etiquette, and so on.
That being said, it’s their wedding, and they are doing it their way. Respect that, or don’t go. It may not be to your taste, but who cares. Do what you want on your wedding.
My girlfriend and I have been together around 6 years, and have watched a lot of our mutual friends get hitched in that time. It’s funny watching a lot of other people going through all the stress, planning, blowing ridiculous amounts of money on what is essentially 6 hours of one day in your life. We both look back on all our friends’ weddings and agreed that we are going to do an outdoor ceremony somewhere cheap then a big backyard barbecue in the summer, and hire one of our friends to do pictures (nothing posed). We both agreed that the best weddings we have been to were the ones with the least amount of planning and most emphasis on making sure that the guests had fun, and not on what the bride wants as her ‘vision’ for the day.
Take what I say with a grain of salt b/c I abhor all the wedding pomp and circumstance.
IMO, total dick move, especially if you have people coming from out of town.
My daughter was supposed to get married this August. Thank gawd she called it off. The entire wedding “show” is utter bullshit. Pre-wedding pictures. Post-wedding pictures. Having the ceremony, then, making your guest sit with their thumbs up their asses for 3+ hours between the wedding and the reception so more bullshit pictures can be taken. It is a joke. It is a sham for people to make money.
I heard a statistic on the radio the other day that said weddings were either 3rd or 4th in most expensive things on which people spend money. It was something like: 1) House, 2) Education, 3) Vehicles, 4) Wedding. Something like that. Insane.
Average cost of wedding: $30,000 (up from $25,000 a few years ago.)
Weddings are ridiculous. I hate the show, the build up, the “rules”, the etiquette, and so on.
That being said, it’s their wedding, and they are doing it their way. Respect that, or don’t go. It may not be to your taste, but who cares. Do what you want on your wedding.
My girlfriend and I have been together around 6 years, and have watched a lot of our mutual friends get hitched in that time. It’s funny watching a lot of other people going through all the stress, planning, blowing ridiculous amounts of money on what is essentially 6 hours of one day in your life. We both look back on all our friends’ weddings and agreed that we are going to do an outdoor ceremony somewhere cheap then a big backyard barbecue in the summer, and hire one of our friends to do pictures (nothing posed). We both agreed that the best weddings we have been to were the ones with the least amount of planning and most emphasis on making sure that the guests had fun, and not on what the bride wants as her ‘vision’ for the day.
There’s a difference between them doing something their own way and being rude/tacky/cheap. When’s the last time you were invited to a wedding event (or any normal social event) where your gf was not or vice versa? To exclude spouses from the rehearsal dinner is just not wrong in wedding etiquette, it’s wrong for any social event except something along the lines of a bachelor party or boys day.
We are rehearsing the ceremony and how I just stand there. It’s very complicated for me. Now for the bride and groom that is a different story. Maybe rehearse when the bride is supposed to cry?
Weddings are ridiculous. I hate the show, the build up, the “rules”, the etiquette, and so on.
That being said, it’s their wedding, and they are doing it their way. Respect that, or don’t go. It may not be to your taste, but who cares. Do what you want on your wedding.
My girlfriend and I have been together around 6 years, and have watched a lot of our mutual friends get hitched in that time. It’s funny watching a lot of other people going through all the stress, planning, blowing ridiculous amounts of money on what is essentially 6 hours of one day in your life. We both look back on all our friends’ weddings and agreed that we are going to do an outdoor ceremony somewhere cheap then a big backyard barbecue in the summer, and hire one of our friends to do pictures (nothing posed). We both agreed that the best weddings we have been to were the ones with the least amount of planning and most emphasis on making sure that the guests had fun, and not on what the bride wants as her ‘vision’ for the day.
There’s a difference between them doing something their own way and being rude/tacky/cheap. When’s the last time you were invited to a wedding event (or any normal social event) where your gf was not or vice versa? To exclude spouses from the rehearsal dinner is just not wrong in wedding etiquette, it’s wrong for any social event except something along the lines of a bachelor party or boys day.
Again, everyone’s perception of what is rude/tacky/cheap is going to differ a little, and you can’t please everyone. It’s a bloody rehearsal dinner. Not the end of the world.
Is it rude/tacky/cheap to ask only the wedding party to sit along side the couple at dinner? What about their poor guests?
I’ve been in a wedding party when only the wedding party was asked to the rehearsal dinner. I’ve also been excluded from a rehearsal dinner from another wedding because my girlfriend was a bridesmaid and I was her guest. It’s really not a big deal.