My wife and I expecting twins in 3 months. We both train and compete in triathlons, marathons, etc. Honestly, can you still train and race and handle those first 12 months of child rearing or should we just take a year off and focus on the kid thing? I’m afraid that since we are in our 40’s we would have a very hard time getting back into it after a long lay off. Thoughts?
Wow, I am 50 and both of my kids will be married in 3 weeks. I now have all the time in the world.
But, just teasing there, kids are only around for a short amount of time. For me, family was always number 1.
Tris are not a family sport. We water skiied for 10 years, 9 months a year. Best family sport I ever found.
Dave
Once kids arrive your time is not your own. You’ll be amazed how much work infants are and twins will be double duty. The good news is that it’s all worth it in the end. If you’re fortunate enough to have willing inlaws to take the kids from time to time it will help.
You don’t have to quit altogether, but I wouldn’t be off IM/marathon training and leaving your wife with all the work. My suggestion is cut back to running local 5/10 kms and sprint tris. Your wife will have to take some time off, but can still get back into it later even within the first year.
Lots off people don’t even start triathlon until they’re older than you are. Tri will always be there. Your kids are a lot more important.
I think it is possible as I have seen friends deal with it. You may have to be more flexible and do things like push baby strollers during certain runs, alternate when you swim and bike, hopefully have a gym with a daycare and be able to afford babysitters here and there. you may also have to lean on friends here and there but it certainly does not mean that your life as you know it is completely over with.
Herbert
If you both share the responsibilities… anything is possible.
Kids are a lot of work, I’m fortunate that my wife doesn’t train also, however… She does workout and we share responsiblities to make it all happen.
Like anything else… If you make it a priority and work as a team, it can be done. i.e. don’t both try to peak for the same race.
Send a PM to steveperx. His twins will be 9 months old tomorrow and he’s been training (or maybe “not training” is more accurate) for IMoo in September. He may have some advice.
I have observed, in most every case, that people do what they want in life. If you want to keep racing then you will find a way and other things will give way. I have four children, eight and under, and train quite a bit, but it means I go to bed early and do it from five in the morning to seven or seven thirty and ride my bike to and from work. It really depends on how you spend your free time now. If you commute one or two hours and will continue to do so, then you may have a problem. If you trained together before then you may need to do a lot more, “you train and then I will train”.
It is very important to remember that children don’t mean you live your whole life for them. You have to keep a little bit of “you” in your life to keep your identity and sanity. As I started to become more serious about duathlon and triathlon in my mid-thirties, I realized that if I want to train more, other things had to go. My life is very simple right now.
I would not recommend planning any races initially, but keep on training—it will be a tremendous stress relief.
Chad
P.S. And don’t let your kids climb in bed with you! You will never get rid of them.
First, CONGRATULATIONS!
Reason I got into tris was to focus on the “kid thing.” Overweight and headed for early grave, I felt if I wanted to be the dad they needed, I had to get and stay in shape and it is a great sport to hang around with people in the same boat. I would not give up or drop it, just refocus and reprioritize on what you want to do. In the first year I do suggest removing the word Ironman and Marathon from vocabulary :). I still know people that do that and that is awesome, but it is really a tough time and you will need some serious help. My kid’s loved the jogging stroller (read, they fell asleep) and the Burley (when old enough). No speed work or intervals, but a good run beats no run. Figure out a plan, make mistakes, create time conflicts, work around them, but keep balance and focus as a couple on what the goal you want. Best of luck!
As others have said, anything is possible… but as a parent of 3 if I were you I’d take a year off and cross train, play, change poopy diapers, and have fun without worrying about racing seriously. Having twins ain’t easy…go with the flow. 
Good stuff, thanks everyone!
My twins will be turning 5 in Nov and I still find time to train although my wife doesn’t train or race. You have to be very creative with time management. Alot of planning in advance will go along way! I took the 3-4am feeding time and soon after that is when i started getting in my training. Do everything in your ability to set them on a schedule for feeding/sleeping/etc and it should not be that bad. The in-laws woke them up just before I crossed the line in Kona to see me on the tube. Something they talk about daily! They think I won!! Good luck with it, John
A friend of mine had twins about 6 months ago, then she qualified for Boston a couple weeks ago. She’s not blazingly freaky fast or anything - she was about a 3:40 before kids, and a 3:40 afterwards.
Once you have them, the choice makes itself. You dont want to be away from them.
And by the way, triathlons isnt the only thing you won’t be doing for awhile.
In a word – yes. Enjoy the memories you have. You’ll have no life for the next few years. But seriously, you’ll get used to it. You have to, you’re a parent. Keep your priorities in the right place.
~ AB ~
Just take the training and racing back a notch for a while. No need to stop entirely except for maybe the first 8-12 weeks after the babies are born. I would wait for your wife to recover to as she might resent your training when she can’t.
Congratulations!! Before you worry about training/racing, there will be a few other things that will be bigger changes in life…like everything.
I had 3 under the age of 4 at one point with a wife that runs marathons. Until we had kids, we trained almost exclusively together. Now I can count on my hands and toes how many times we’re run together in the last 9+ years. But I’ve done several marathons and 1/2 IMs in that time and she has run 6 marathons, including Boston. Training, racing, and everything else will change completely, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still do things, just a little differently and with more(much more) planning and flexibility.
Good luck and enjoy the little ones!!
My wife and I expecting twins in 3 months. We both train and compete in triathlons, marathons, etc. Honestly, can you still train and race and handle those first 12 months of child rearing or should we just take a year off and focus on the kid thing? I’m afraid that since we are in our 40’s we would have a very hard time getting back into it after a long lay off. Thoughts?
A year off …the kid thing ?
Man, you’re going to be in for the long road of life with that kind of mojo.
I’m in my early 40’s and having raised, pretty damn well I might add, a 15 yr old daughter I’ll throw in my 2 cents.
Its a real gift to be able to have kids.
Those precious early years happen real fast, before you know it they’re in middle school.
Do yourself a favor, scale back a good amount, but make the twins a priority bar-none.
You guys can always pick up when you’re in the 50-54 AG category. Plenty a fast folks have gone thru what you’re about to.
Invest early with children and the dividends down the road will yield big returns.
Congrats and enjoy the chubbiness ahead ; )
We have 9 month old twins. I’m competing in IM Wisconsin in two months. Needless to say, I will not be “racing” it, as the twins (and some injuries) sidetracked my training a bit, but you can do still it. That said, my wife tells me she’s “happy the Ironman is almost over,” and that I “won’t be doing them anymore.” So, I may be scaling back to HIMs for the next few years, but you can certainly still race.
EDIT
My wife’s not really into triathlon, so we don’t really have to coordinate training schedules. However, she is doing the Tri For the Cure in August, and has been swimming twice a week and riding on Sat. mornings. During those times, I watch the boys. I fit in most training in the morning and at lunch. I get Sunday mornings for long bike/brick workouts, and my company has “summer hours” that let me get a long run in on Fridays. If I were more disciplined, I’d probably be pretty well trained for Moo this year. As it is, I expect to have a VERY long day Sept. 9, mostly on the run.
The best and most realistic advice you received was from cdw. As a parent of several children I would say that the infancy years are actually quite easy to maintain a training routine because you control the schedule. What becomes difficult and sometimes impossible is when your kids reach youth sports ages and they have a schedule that has to be accomodated. When this happens it is tough to have a regular training schedule. I actually miss the “pre-youth activity” days. Prior to them it was a piece of cake. After… it’s tough. Probably after age 8 and above is when it gets tough. I am at the stage where my kids schedules take priority. It is just a choice that works for me. Still, sprints and olys are easily doable.
There are all kinds of creative ways to take the kids with you when you train - jogging stroller, and bike cart (excellent training tool - i.e. train heavy, race light).
Enjoy the kids, but keep training and racing. It keeps you fresh and balanced for your spouse and kids.
First off, congratulations!! My twins will be 6 in December and it has been a very tough and rewarding road. I did my first sprint triathlon two years before my children were born and my first marathon right before getting pregnant. I was able to train for my second marathon right after their first birthday, but I knew then that triathlons would have to wait. I could easily bring them on runs, but swimming and biking just wasn’t realistic. (Especially once they were mobile, even the trainer wasn’t safe!) My husband was also active, but he actually let my training take precedent. Since they were born, I have definitely trained more than him but he has used my training time to spend quality time with his children. -Since I am a stay at home mom, this means the kids have been blessed with lots of time with both parents. Had he had a burning desire to do lots of races, then I know we could have made it work too. As others have said, you can pretty much make anything work. However, I do believe that at some point something gets sacrificed (training time/quality, time with the children, sleep, housecleaning, etc. But you can make the choice!)
I started training for triathlons again when they were four and just completed IMAZ this past year. It has definitely been easier now that they are older. We sometimes get creative now with the training. I wake up early to swim so that I am home before they even get up. I do some runs at the gym while they are at childwatch, which thankfully is like a big playground for them. If I MUST do a bike workout while they are up, I bring paper, markers, legos, etc into the room and they play with me. It isn’t the most focused workout, but at least we are together and they don’t feel slighted.
I wouldn’t lay off the training all together. If you are anything like us, then you and your wife will need that outlet. Just try to be flexible with your plans.
Good luck!