So I got engaged about a month ago to an AWESOME girl and we’re training for our second Ironman together. While I’ve always been somewhat protective of her on our long rides, I’m faster on the bike and after a while would take off and do my own thing. Lately, I’ve been having issues leaving her on her own, I don’t know if it’s because we got engaged, or because every time I turn on the television, go to a club meeting, or read Slowtwitch, I hear about someone getting hit by careless drivers…probably a mix of both factors. She gets pissed when I hang back, but when I’m off on my own I’ve always got that bug in the back of my head.
Since this has been such a hot topic that last few days, I’m wondering, for those couples who train together, do you have the same issues? How do you get over it? I know I need to focus on my race, but if anything happened, I know I’d blame myself!
I am with you, When ever I ride with my girlfriend I always make sure she is right behind me. Just protective I guess. I just accept the fact that I will ride slower and I always think about how lucky I am to have a girl that likes to ride, even though she has been hit by a car already. A screw in each hip but that was long before we met. But she has a lot of guts for getting back out there.
To a point, yes, it IS a bit annoying feeling like my husband is slowing up to check on or wait for me…and I just tell him, do your own ride, Dude. Obviously, if it’s been like 3 hours and you haven’t seen me, or if we’re only doing a 20-miler and you look back and can’t see me, something might be off–and by all means, come check, but other than that, do your own thing.
On the whole, we’re pretty good about training co-operatively. I never run with him. We do some rides together, some we start and end at the same place (and start at the same time), and some we’re on our own. We never swim together…because he hates swimming.
I love my husband. I like training. The two do not necessarily need to be combined at all times, however.
Okay, so let me see if I have this straight… She’s been riding HOW long? And now that you’re engaged, you’d feel guilty if something happened to her when you’re not there?
She’s a big girl. Especially significant is that she’s pissed that you hang back. She doesn’t want to be coddled. Let her be herself. Let her be who she was when you were first attracted to her.
My wife and I arrange our ride schedules so that when we ride together, we ride together. On the rare occasions where she gets dropped during an interval I’ll double back. That doesn’t happen much.
When it’s just us riding together, we stay together, but she’s a fast experienced rider and i hold back a bit when I’m pulling. A lot of our other rides are with our roadie group. Usually the group ride breaks into two or three different groups on the nights we hammerfest. If I hang with the front group I know she’s not far behind in the second group and not riding alone.
It’s not that I would feel any more guilty now than before we were engaged…suppose I just worry more now, and again the amount of people I know who’ve had incidents w/ cars has tripled in the past year…
My wife and I arrange our ride schedules so that when we ride together, we ride together.
Ditto! During the weekday, we split the training rides - I ride a total of 2-3 hours with the first half of the training ride being an individual effort (usually as a result of me riding solo to the park to meet her) and the second half is with the two of us riding together by which time I am ready for a more relaxed tempo. To her credit, my wife pedaled some high tempo mileage on Tuesday evening, averaging just under 23 for our 40-minute TT interval.
My iron-boyfriend helped me train for IM CDA 2004 and I loved having him on the road with me, even if he was always ahead by a few miles. We tried walky-talkies which worked sometimes but on one occasion I got lost and he had to come looking for me with the car.
The only thing that bothered me was when he was up the road ahead, coasting and looking back at me… looking at me like when are you going to catch up!?! This was always my perspective at the end of the ride when I was falling apart and had low blood sugar. At the beginning of the ride: I loved him!
You can get in some epic fights on a long road ride or have a great time! I’ve had both and I hope he doesn’t regret any of it, I don’t! OK, maybe I regret the time I yelled nasty things up the road at him but I don’t think he heard me so…
I used to attack the hills when I rode with my wife. I would get to the top, turn around and come back down to her and use it as repeats. The eventualy seemed to get to her and the grief she gave me wasn’t worth the minor fitness gain. Now when I want to do that stuff, I do it alone and we just ride together. Call it wussy, but how much does having her ride with me mean?? Lots. She doesn’t seem to mind kicking my sorry ass on the runs though.
Kinda funny, but I show up to group hill-climb sessions on mine and the gals love it, especially when I miss shifts because it’s all backwards with Shimano, I’m busy grabbing gears when I should be dumping gears, etc.
It’s pretty awesome watching them jump and climb away… too funny.
My wife is only a little slower than myself – So I will do…
On a long straight section of road – do intervals - 15 to 20 minutes hard - do a U-turn and ride back to her (possible let her get 500 meters ahead and bust my butt to catch her)
A loop course – I try to lap her.
The “extra hill ride” – there is a long straight a way with a side road hill – I will bike ahead – then climb the hill (U-turn on the hill) - then rejoin my wife as she catches up.
The big club ride – ride with a big group – someone else is riding with her while I get to go hammer with the big boys.
My wife is a responsable person – and she does do solo training rides – 1. I very much enjoy riding with her and can ride with her and still get in my workout. 2. Reality is – our roads can be dangerous - for males and females – unfortunately, there are those males that see a woman on a bike as a target to harass - I like it when my wife is riding with others - even if those others are also women – they have a great tool to fight back (a cel. phone) and can help keep an eye out on each other.
I am from Hawaii – Where a woman named Dana Ireland was out bicycling when she was run over by a car on purpose and was robbed and sexually assualted and left to die - she was riding alone.
Am I over protective?? Yes – but my wife is over protective of me too.
