My wife is pregnant and we are expecting our first child in early October. I have full intention of being an active part of my child’s life, but I’m curious to hear from others about how much time is really required for an infant. I keep hearing horror stories about getting 2-3 hours of sleep / night (me and my wife, not the baby), which would of course eliminate the chance of any training. I’m not looking to train for an IM or even really a race, but I’d like to still stay healthy with ~1 hour / day, maybe 6 days / week. Is that realistic?
I’d be prepared for the worst and you may be happily surprised.
Babies are all different. Some sleep all day, some don’t. Lil cougie was very much an awake child.
If you’re working a full time job, then I’d think you’d be lucky to look after junior, give your wife a break and still get an hour a day in for 6 days a week.
I’d take lil c out for loooooong walks in his pram at the weekend - so for 2 or 3 hours. He’d sleep most of the time and I got exercise and got to know the area very well. After getting lost lots. Gave me ideas for run routes though.
Be prepared to adapt aspects of your life and enjoy junior.
I have 5 children…the oldest will graduate high school next year…the youngest is 4 months old…so I am right now in that sometimes “dreaded” first year…
Each child will have its own requirements…most of mine slept through the night after about a month (7-8 hours straight is what I consider “sleeping through the night”)…the current one has NO SET SCHEDULE…after four months he may sleep all night or he may get up 2-3 times…there is just no telling…
In terms of you, your family, your work, and your training…you sound like a concientious father, husband, and worker…
Its about priorities…always keep your priorities straight…but that DOESN’T mean that you have to automatically give up your training…keeping priorities straight is not a rigid regimen that you have to constantly keep checking…doing the “right” thing doesn’t mean you always deny yourself…in fact, denying yourself is a recipe for a breakdown later…
You (and your wife) have to make sure to have time for self as well as all the other commitments…
It is realistic to spend some time every day training…you’ll know when you need to forego that workout and spend that time with family, work, or otherwise…
Horror stories come from people who try to force timeframes on their priorities…I MUST spend 2 hours with family per day, I MUST get 10 hours of training per week, I MUST, I MUST, I MUST…
Ultimately, there are GOING to be conflicting demands on your time, particularly with children…just relax, breathe, consult your priorities, COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR WIFE, and do the right thing…
My daugter is nearly 7 weeks old now, and last night was the first night she only had one feed. Its usually 2 feeds, but in the first few weeks it wasnt uncommon for her to be awake for 4-5 hours through the night - eliminating training.
Anyway, I did IMOZ 8 weeks ago, and I have had a forced rest (bub) after putting in 3 seasons without a serious break. So in 8 weeks I have done a 26k mtb/46k TT/2k swim/5k paddle/11k run (Which I won - yay), a half marathon (1:33), and an Oly Distance race (high2:05). 3 races, with the only training sessions being 2 paddles in a K1, just to learn how to bloody steer the thing!
Now is the ideal time to start back training I think - got a half IM in 11 weeks - eek! Hopefully my daughter will be well behaves re: sleep from now on - I got a lot of fitness to regain.
LOL, I love it. Keep in mind that your wife may need more help than you think - post partum depression often doesn’t show up for 10 weeks or so, and that baby of yours could start waking up 3 times a night at any time. As an earlier poster said, plan for the worst, hope for the best, and make sure your wife gets the rest & support she needs.
My wife and I had our first boy last December and I am currently training for IM Wis. I work days and she works nights so I take care of the baby after work most nights. This means rising at 4 or 5 am to get my training in. The first 2-4 weeks you will likely not be able to do any training. This is only possible because of her support and encouragement. The questions you should ask are 1) how committed are both of you to training? 2) how much stress and sleep deprivation are you willing to undergo? 3) How flexible is your schedule…work, sleep, other commitments?
With your wife’s support, training 6 hours per week is very reasonable.
My boy is 11 weeks old. Here is my experience. Dont count on workingout the 1st 2 months. Get a workout in when you can but it should be a luxury. Your baby and wife need you…be there for them. I just started getting up at 5:30 and riding every day this week. We still get up 2-3 times a night. You will really need to support your wife because she is the life force for your baby. Keep her as happy as possible. I dont plan on racing at all this year.
As a father of 3, I can say that it is not that hard at any given moment to take care of a baby. All they do is eat, poop and sleep. The hard part comes from the fact that someone always has to stand watch.
The biggest change in your lifestyle comes from the fact that it is a 24/7 job and either you or your spouse must be on duty at all times. If your wife needs to run to the store for 20 minuets, you have to be home and can’t leave the house without taking the baby with you. If she’s going to be home at 6:10, no slipping out at 5:45 to start a ride or a run. If you go to work and she stays home, you’re going to have to take a watch when you get home.
You’ll still have time to workout but the scheduling becomes must tougher and you’ll have to be very flexible.
Of course, it is all worth it and it really does go by incredibly fast. Enjoy it. It seems like my kids were babies just yesterday and now they are almost grown. It makes me want to cry . . . . And I sure don’t regret having missed any workouts.
Congratulations on having a baby. I can say without a doubt my son(22 mo) is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Like the others said flexibility is key. Don’t plan on doing much if anything the first month or two. I can’t remember a whole lot because I was in a sleep deprived haze for the first couple of months. The first 8 months are the worst, after that its gravey. I was lucky that we could afford for my wife to quit working when we had the baby so she took on the brunt of the work. Our son was not a good sleeper and had a lot of spitup issues(something about something in his throat not quite developed). He was like clockwork for the first couple of months, up every three hours to eat and would then throw up half of what he had just eaten. The biggest key is getting them to sleep for 7 hours straight, all kids are different. I think it was somewhere in the 3rd or 4th month before that happened for us. Good luck, it’s a blast(well after the first couple of months anyway)
my baby girl is 9 1/2 months. my wife stays home during the week and is breast feeding so for the first 3 months, i actually slept in a different room than mom and baby. there was no reason for me to get up 5 times a night when the baby only wanted mom’s breast. so for me, it was business as usual. now i’m back in the main bedroom and baby has her own room. i still get in my a.m. wkt as mom and baby usually wake at 6:15 and feed and then go back to bed. then i work out again at lunch. when i get get home, it’s all about the baby.
and on the weekends, i get in one workout in the morning and then give mom a break and spend the rest of the day with baby.
i tihnk it all depends on how flexible your wife is. but absoletely, don’t miss any baby time. they grow way fast.
Get one of those cool running strollers and a bike trailer. One of our most cherished pictures is of our boys sitting in the bike trailer with their little skid lids on waiting to go for their ride. We would only go around safe neighborhood street. No main roads or anything risky.
A relatively quiet trainer will be handy. You can get a workout in while the baby sleeps, yet still be there if needed. Don’t expect your spouse to do all the child care so that you can train. Your family needs you. there will be lots of time to train once the children get older, trust me they will get older fast. Don’t miss the opportunity to be a parent, it’s much more important and satisfying than being an athlete.
I’m right into it at the moment. Kami is 5 months old, going to sleep only at about 1am, then sleeps until 9-10 am, but daddy needs to get up much earlier than this unfortunately. So very little sleep.
It has a benefit though. Since I know I will have time to spend with him until 1am, I can go training early evening and still have about 4-5 hours after that with him. Then I can sleep while at work
First off, congrats - being a parent is the best thing, ever. My daughter turns 2 tomorrow, I can’t believe how fast it has gone…
Secondly - you won’t get any sleep for the first month or 2. Maybe more. (YMMV, babies are all different). There is no way this won’t impact your training. So be prepared for it.
I did a “semi-Fleck”, in that, for that first year I didn’t compete in anything, and just did whatever I could training-wise, whenever I could squeeze it in. Zero structure. I became the master of the 20 min trainer interval workout, and the 3 mile run. Last year, I did a few events, and still had decent results (top 1/3 of field and AG typically) on VERY limited training. Which was fine. When you are training less often, and for less time, you can up the intensity, and still get a good workout. FWIW, this year I am UP to about 1 hr a day on avg, 6 days a week. It was probably 1/3 to 1/2 of that the prior 2 years.
Anyway, you can always train or compete some other time (or some other year), but you will never have your child’s first years again. You want to be there for all of it. All this other stuff is just a hobby, a fun way to kill time and stay in shape.
You could be right. Mine was a kicker and wanted to come out feet first, double footling breech. He’ll be 1yr next month and absolutely loves the water. Don’t know about swimming but loves being in, around, under the water.
As far as training I’d agree with “flexibility”, but not so much so. Personally if I don’t schedule things they don’t get done. However just because they’re on the schedule doesn’t mean they have to get done.
I always make a schedule so that I and other know were and what I “Plan” on doing. However if I do only get a few hours sleep or the wife needs a break or something else comes up I modify the schedule.
My son is now 15 months old, and was still getting up in the night at least once up until around 14 months. At the beginning, it really was every 2 to 3 hours. I’d get up, change him, and bring him in for my wife. I was working full time, so I was a friggin zombie some days. Catching naps under my desk at lunch was a good way to recover.
As for training, that was essentially cut back to virtually nothing for the first couple of months except for 1 or 2 swims per week. It picked up after that, but I’ve always aimed to keep most of my training to early morning when my wife and son are asleep, so as not to cut into family time. I do remember getting a lot of walking in during the first couple of months, as that was often the best way to get him to settle down.
It’s definitely worth it, but it is exhausting at first, and is a complete committment. As someone else mentioned, you can’t just take off on a bike ride at the drop of a hat, you need to plan it out ahead of time so that all the arrangements are made.
Congrats! Ive have two, one 4months and one 18months and they are great!
Training for IM is totally doable with one, but it gets harder with two, I did an IM last year with just my daughter, but there is no way I could do one this year daughter and son, next IM is a couple years away.
First couple months is tough on sleep, but once the baby gets settled it gets alot better. Both my kids woke up last night so i missed my swim this morning. I do alot of my training at home on treadmill, trainer, and also in baby jogger. It was and still is difficult to get to the pool, wife and I both work and she also has hobbies.
Its doable, but put training on backburner for first couple of months.
