Top ten list - things you've heard

Triathlon Forum
1

As a triathlete that you didn’t want to hear.

I haven’t come up with all ten yet, but I can think of a few:

  1. We think your bike is in Calgary, they are checking the cargo hold right now.

  2. We will have a decision for the athlete’s meeting on Sat. as to the status of the race (Penticton '03 b/cause of the forest fires).

  3. You have a stress fracture in your left tibia.

  4. I’m sorry sir, the computer has you checking in next Tuesday.

  5. The water temp. this a.m. was measured by officials at 24c - there will be no wetsuits today.

  6. xxx

  7. xxx

  8. xxx

  9. xxx

  10. On your left.

2

As a triathlete that you didn’t want to hear.

I haven’t come up with all ten yet, but I can think of a few:

  1. We think your bike is in Calgary, they are checking the cargo hold right now.

  2. We will have a decision for the athlete’s meeting on Sat. as to the status of the race (Penticton '03 b/cause of the forest fires).

  3. You have a stress fracture in your left tibia.

  4. I’m sorry sir, the computer has you checking in next Tuesday.

  5. The water temp. this a.m. was measured by officials at 24c - there will be no wetsuits today.

  6. Still no word on your bike. ****

  7. Seats to high.

  8. xxx

  9. xxx

  10. On your left. Passed by your lost bike that was somehow donated to TSR.

3

  1. We think your bike is in Calgary, they are checking the cargo hold right now.

  2. We will have a decision for the athlete’s meeting on Sat. as to the status of the race (Penticton '03 b/cause of the forest fires).

  3. You have a stress fracture in your left tibia.

  4. I’m sorry sir, the computer has you checking in next Tuesday.

  5. The water temp. this a.m. was measured by officials at 24c - there will be no wetsuits today.

  6. HOP, HOP, HOP, HOP, HOP, HOP, HOP, HOP (supporters yelling)

  7. xxx

  8. xxx

  9. xxx

  10. On your left.

4
  1. “While we were placing the screws, we found additional damage . . .”
5
  1. “We’re going over to Woody’s (gay bar in Philly). Can you join us?”

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

6

“The Pain you are experiencing will never go away…”
.

7

At a lot of NON-DRAFTING French races I’ve heard:

“I’m pretty sure you can’t have bar-end shifters for this triathlon”.

Luckily I’ve managed to sneak my bike into most races. The rules actually allow them, but a lot of backward-thinking French triathletes (and officials) seem to think they are not allowed. I’ve found that passing through the bike check in at the same time that some tidy female clubmates in bathers tends to distract the attention of the bike-checkers away from my bar setup :slight_smile:

Also, turning up to a race that is predominantly flat and 95% of the bikes are road bikes, and 75% of the bikes have no aero bars. Of course, there’s no need for these Tour de France wannabes to be aero when riding in the peloton.

8

funny you mention this…
it’s amazing to realize how many french triathletes don’t realize that this rule applies ONLY to the elite and sometimes the open wave, racing the grand prix and some very specific races where this is clearly identified…
I know this and have left France 6 years ago…

9

“We will be putting bleach in the lake prior to the race in order to reduce the bacteria count. You are advised not to swim in the lake before the race.”

On arriving back at the T1 location after the bike - “I’m sorry sir, but you were told that the bike/run transition is at a different location”.

Aid stations will be handing out Gatorade

The chicken soup will be along in about half an hour

Would you like a glow stick?

10

  • Our bouys have really good anchors but that wind sure is whipping towards the other side of the lake.

  • POP! (tire either right before the race, well make that any time on race day)

  • POP! was that my knee?

  • Man that is a wicked current

  • Look at all those choppy waves going from left to right across the swim course.

  • Looks like another record breaker today, 99 and sunny.

11

  1. no, Honey, i really prefer you wait on the new race bike (or wheels).

  2. Uhm…yea. I’m gonna need you to go ahead and come in to work this Saturday (boss says while rocking back and forth with cup of coffee)

  3. Your knee will take a minimum of 10 weeks in physical therapy and 5 months of rest

  4. and during this time you can’t swim or bike, or really do much else than the physical therapy exercises.

  5. in addition to that, the anti-inflamatories will require you to NOT drink alcohol of any kind while you’re taking them.

  6. yes, that most certainly includes wine.

  7. red or white, that is correct.

  8. We’ll have your bike repaired, hopefully, by the end of next week.

  9. Rider down!

  10. there is a riptide in the water…

12

“Thump, snap, scrraaapppe” followed immediately by “Gasp” as both my wife and I realize that I just pulled into the carport with my Giant TCR1 strapped to the roof.

What the hell, it had 200 miles on it, it was due for replacing :frowning:

14

Two hours of a 35mph crosswind blowing in my ear on the out and back section of a 2-lane hwy.

15

Expect to be back to running in 12 months.

In all my years of practice, I’ve never seen an ankle sprained this badly.

The race is delayed until the fog lifts enough so you can see the buoys.

Sections of the bike course just got a fresh coat of tar and gravel.

Dad, you need to kick like a motor boat not a row boat.

16

“Be sure to drive the bike course in advance because some sections may not be clearly marked”
.

17

“I didn’t know sharks came in this far.”.

18

You’re the dogbite that called?

Please come inside. We don’t want you to scare the other patients in the waiting room.

19

We’ve had reports that someone has dumped a bunch of tacks on the bike course.

20

“If you get sick in the next week or so fill out this survey and return it to the Dept of Health, this used to be a toxic waste dump” told to me as I left the San Diego Reebok Women’s Tri a couple of years ago. Are you kidding me? They couldn’t have us swim somewhere that doesn’t have toxic waste? And exactly what is an “acceptable” level of arsenic? Remind me to check the history of venues BEFORE getting in the water…kj

21

WHUMP WHUMP WHUMP WHUMP as a disc goes by …