How do you guys with crazy schedules (read: married) manage time and fend off bullshit obligations? I am “training” for IMFL and I am seriously struggling. I am behind at work, at life, and in training. I know I have 15-20 hours to dedicate, but I am only getting about 10 hours in and those aren’t going well. Always tired! This isn’t my first IM, but its my first as a married man. My wife is understanding, but she never says no to her family and now I get sucked into that shit also. What are your secrets? Morning workouts are totally key I know, but what else?
Less ST.com?
Why are morning workouts the key? you have about 14 hours fo daylight still. Minus 8 for work thats still 6 hours in the evening to train. Unless you work some weird hours like a swing shift or 3rd shift.
- get up earlier
- go to bed later
It isn’t going to help with the tiredness, bu that may be as simple as nutrition.
I’m up at 5a for a run or bike and swim at 8:30p.
I think you have to come to the realization that I did. Your not going to break any records, your not going to set a pr, your just going to finish. And you have to realize that even though to you the IM is like #2 or 3 on your priority list realistically its much lower. I too am gearing up for florida. Im getting about 8-10 hours a week. But you know what. I have not worked out since saturday b/c of work and family (i have an 8 month old daughter and my wife works as well) and today is not looking much better. I know right where you are. I have been trying for about two weeks to start morning workouts. Just an easy 3-5 mile run in the morning before work but my little girl has decided she doesnt want to go to sleep before midnight and then shes up at 5 and takes a bit to get back down. SO by 6am im looking at around 5.5 hours of sleep for the night (not in one stretch mind you) and thats just not enough. Am I making sense? Your only other option is to say look honey I just need you to be cool with not seeing me for the next three months or can we set aside this block of time a week for me to train. Its only 3 months. Hopefully she will understand otherwise you just have to accept what I said earlier.
Like anything else, communication/negotiation is the key. Explain to your wife why putting in that many hours is important, and what those hours will be. You can then negotiate that you will take care of certain obligations in exchange for freedom from others, and attempt to work thema round the schedule. This is how my wife and I work it and it does pretty well. Every now and then I will give up a long owrkout, however she will make it up by taking over other stuff during the week so I have time to train. So far, she doesn’t want to see me drown in the swim or die of a heart attack on the course, so she suports the training hours. I suppose when that changes I should be concerned.
And sometimes life and work just get in the way - two months of my training for a half got hosed becasue of work (8 hours - yeah, right - try 14 hour days to mess up a training sched). So sometimes you also have to modify your expectations. That alone will take some stress off you and allow you to train more effectively. At least I feel I never train as well when feeling pressured and that every workout is critical. I do much better if I am mentallym ore relaxed going in.
I have a wife, a 4-year-old daughter, and twin 10-month-old boys. My home is crazy to say the least. I work two jobs (my wife stays home) which total about 65 hours per week. Here is what I do:
I don’t train on Saturdays no matter what the training schedule says. It is a day for family and/or work.
If the family needs me around, long Sunday rides are moved to early Monday mornings, then I just do Monday’s workout too. Example: Long ride at 5:00am then at lunch or after work do Monday’s work.
Early mornings (before everyone gets up) are for training. I do my workout(s) then come home, shower, make breakfast for everyone, eat with them then go off to work.
Lunch hours are for training. I have a flexible schedule at work and a microwave. So, on lunch I train. Then I come back to the office and while replying to phone calls or e-mails, I eat my lunch.
I always make time for my family when I get home from work. I take the girl on a bike ride or let my wife go running, cook dinner, clean the house, feed the boys, mow the lawn, etc. Only after everything is calm on the home front do I sneak of to the pool, road, or track for a workout.
I talk to my wife about my training plans and expectations in the beginning of the week. I let her know what I would like to do and how it may effect her and the kids. This way, she can tell me what she has planned and we work out a schedule and get almost (I say almost for a reason) everything covered.
Sometimes I don’t get some things done. Example: dishes might wait for the end of the day to be put in the dishwasher or the lawn may get a little long.
And finally, I don’t spend all our disposable income on Tri stuff. I love carbon but ride aluminum.
Good luck. It is work being married. But, with a little effort, you can do the Tri thing and be married.
one suggestion was spot on, get up earlier. not only do you get in longer workouts but your so tired at night that the wife doesn’t care to be around you. so, you go to bed early.
seriously, i’d talk to wife and share you goals and desires with her. make her a part of the plan, if she wants. make it a ‘we’ goal. make sure she realizes that it is only temporary and afterwards you will have more time to focus on her. my wife is my ‘sherpa’ at races. she a part of the experience. she makes a science of finding the right spot to be in and knowing what time i should be coming by. so she takes an interest in my training and race plans/goals. also, when training i sometimes ride with a friend who is pretty slow, she’ll scold me ‘are you sure you’re going hard enough when you ride with him…’ it’s funny.
also, giving her a nice long back massage one night a week (on your rest day of course) goes a long way.
HEy Saltman THis is what works for me. I’m a wife, mother and nurse. I work 2-3 eight hour shifts/week. I train about 20 hrs/week. My husband and I wake up at 4 am every morning. I’m happy to do it b/c I really love training. I have some coffee and a light breakfast and we try to start w/o #1 by 4:30 am. I have until 7:30 to workout before I have to get the kids up. So If it is a work day I will do workout #2 right after the first workout. I run outside with a head lamp and bike on the CT if it is dark. After the kids go off to school I will do workout #3 if scheduled and this is usually a quickie b/c I have to get ready for work. I work my shift come home spend time with family and fall into bed around 8:30 to 9:00pm. ON my days off I still get up and go to bed at the same time but I can space out my training more which is a real treat! On the weekends it’s the same thing> we get up at 4 and start soon after that depending on what’s on the plan. We have a sitter every Sat that helps us so we get the ride in. Also if something comes up on Sat then we just do the ride on Sunday. Sunday is usually off/family day. I don’t watch tv usually and try to limit time spent on the web. Today is a day off obviously since I’m on ST. I will say no to some social functions. If it’s something I really have to go to I leave early.
If you are always tired make sure you are getting enough sleep.(you knew that) Also make sure that you are eating enough.
Efficiency is very important… Every minute count…
- Run, bike whenever you can… to work, to pool, back from grocery store, to/back friends place, etc…
- double workouts if you can: bike 1H then run 30 mins for example (or the other way around… does not matter), the key is you had to change clothes only twice (in and out your training clothes) and took only one shower @ the end.
- Maybe you have 30/40 mins @ lunch… go for a quick run…
- do not waste time driving forever to hit the pool … you will waste lots of time driving… not worth it. I am not that great of a swimmer but I try to find pools that I can either bike, run to or drive without adding too much driving when I commute or do other things…
Family and work are priority #1.
Get some sleep. In bed by 10. up between 5 & 6.
Fred.
This is all great advice thanks everyone! I’ve never been the best at time management and with this sport its increasingly becoming as critical as any aspect of training. It’s really strange, I know people have more difficlult demands on their time than my wife and I, but we are constantly “on the go”, 6 days a week. Then that 1 remaining day we are trying to recover. We don’t even have kids yet! Living in downtown Chicago doesn’t help either, but we are nowhere near ready for suburbia. The downside, it takes us longer to do every little thing. Also, I can’t just roll out of my driveway and ride unless its 5am and I can hit the lakefront. But on the weekends add at least 2 hours of driving time just to get someplace to ride. That is the hidden time consumption of IM training.
But thanks again, there is some seriously great advice in here.
Commuting to work thing, I have attempted to organize this so many times. Here are the problems. I live 2.5 miles from my office, sounds great right? Well, it takes me 20-30 minutes to get to work and 30-45 minutes to get home by bus. It would be faster for me to run to and from work, BUT I have no place to shower! Same problem with lunch workouts. I am going to attempt to start running home every other workday. So it should work like this Monday pack running clothes, change and run home from work (plus a few miles), Tuesday take Monday work clothes home, rinse and repeat Wed/Thurs. That’s the best I can do for now.
Swimming is the only thing that’s easy where I live, riding is the most difficult especially long rides.
Make a schedule out. What time do you have to leave for work? How long are your workouts in the morning? Try to get up at the same time every morning to avoid throwing your body out of a steady sleep pattern. How much time do you have for lunch? Can you get a quick workout in? Do you have a place to workout close to work after you finish? This will allow you to workout and avoid part of the afternoon rush hour. It may also cut your commute time down. Let your wife know what your schedule is each week. I post mine on the fridge so everyone knows. Talk to her each day about what your plans are for the next day and what time. There is no reason why she can’t go to family functions by herself and you meet up with her later.
I work full time, have 3 kids- all who play sports and go to different schools and different camps. Since my husband leaves for work by 6:30 am. I have to have to be finished with my morning workout by 6 am to get in the shower and ready for work before he leaves. This gives me 30 minutes to get the kids up, dressed, fed and out the door. I am usually up between 4-4:30 am to do my run or biking workouts. I used to work through lunch, but I have managed to talk my boss into working out with me at lunch three times per week. It isn’t much, but I can do some light weight lifting and stretching or a couple easy miles on the treadmill. I get my afternoon swim workout in right after work before I pick the youngest up from daycare. Fortunately his daycare is at the same place I swim. My husband gets the older two. If I have a bike workout in the afternoon, then I wait until the youngest is asleep (8pm) and workout before I go to bed. Working out this late at night may not work for you, but I’m so exhausted I can usually fall asleep without any problems. I leave one day per week for the family. I get my workouts done early on the weekends so I can spend the rest of the time with the kids, my husband, cleaning and taking care of the yard.
Why every other day? a) you are wasting time in the bus and b) and takes you less time to go home… which translates into either riding the bus for 40 mins doing nothing and still needing 40 mins to do a run total time: 1h20 or run 40 mins… total time: 40 mins. you can then spend those “extra” 40 mins doing other things!
Why not keep work clothes for the week in the office? I assume you can “survive” a work week with two pants…
in the morning, you could aslo take a shower just before leaving, then going easy, and using some wipes in the office preferably when it is not a hot morning.
Cheers
Fred.
Get a trainer. I know nothing beats being able to get out and ride, but the time I have available it isn’t practical. I do 95% of my bike workouts on my trainer. Yes, the long workouts suck, but music or a movie can help.
get up stupid early, to the point where 0530 is really sleeping in
turn as much of your commute into training as possible
ride and run home from family obligations
accept that stuff will get bombed, and go harder or longer in another workout to make up
Married for 5.5 yrs, 1st IM is 5 weeks out, and I feel decently prepared. It hasn’t been easy, but it wouldn’t be worth it if it was. Oh, yeah: take a nice trip in the fall and do NO TRAINING!
“My wife is understanding, but she never says no to her family and now I get sucked into that shit also.”
Being involved in her family (which seems to be what you are saying here) is a completely different matter than everyday scheduling. I have read through the replies, and you have some daily pressures, but ‘family requests’ (ie: with her family getting together) is completely a different animal.
This is where a good conversation with her will really pay off. I agree with the guy who said “Make a schedule - and make it a ‘we’/‘us’ matter”. Sure, you can get up at 4:30am every day, but if you are actually saying that the extended-family is requiring you to be at their gatherings, you need to talk with your wife and come to a consensus about how to apportion out your time.
I have seen extended families which simply see less of a busy spouse. It’s their own decision(s) to hang out frequently, but if you are busy with work, training, and immediate-family time, then extra family visits may have to be negotiated (note: I didn’t say ‘stopped’). It’s not a ‘bullshit obligation’ to your wife, but she certainly deserves your respect when negotiating your presence. Maybe you only see the family 2-3x/mo – and not every week.
I also agree with the people who say “less ST”. Bet if you timed your ST-time, you can get back a few hours of work a day 
Trust me I have tried all of this. I don’t have any place to put clothes for a week in my pint size cubicle, so that won’t really work. I sweat insane amounts even on a 65 degree day, trust me wiping down isn’t going to cut it. I agree, the bus is a waste of time but its extremely difficult to avoid for now.
I have never even though about getting up any earlier than 5:15am, the one bonus is I don’t have to leave my house in the morning until 8am, and it only takes me 20-25 minutes to eat and get ready. So if I was able to actually get up by 4am, I have a solid 3 - 3.5 hours of training time availability. Damn though, 4am!! How long does it take to get used to that??
If you can’t get out of your wifes family obligations then you are probably doomed. I learned a long time ago to just say no to most everything that involves my wifes family. I still do the important stuff, but skip most everything else. Something has to give when you are gearing up for an IM. Just tell your wife this is how it is going to be for a few months. It wont last long 3-5 more months. It wont always be this way, but for now you need time for just you (and your running shoes, swim goggles, bike, etc). The best schedule in the world isn’t going to help if the time isn’t there. Make a schedule and STICK to it. Make others understand what you are doing and why. If it is important to you it will hopefully be important to them. There is a certain degree of selfishness that has to come with being an IM athelete. No way around it, others in your life will suffer a bit. If you can’t be a selfish turd then you are probably better off just racing short course and /or choosing a single sport focus.
Work is another issue. You need to get caught up there and stay on top if it. Getting fired over IM training would not be cool at all :). I highly doubt you wife will be so understanding…
You have gotten a lot of good advice here. Like a lot of folks on here, time management is a challenge for me as well. Here is what I do:
1)Take Time To Plan- Set a one hour block to sit down with your Franlin Covey/Daytimer/Palm Pilot or whatever you use and plan out the week. I pretty much plan out every hour of every day. My schedule is never the same from week to week, so this is critical. That one hour investment in planning really saves me from wasting hours during the week.
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Be Creative and Flexable- There is not on online or coach assigned plan I can follow. Like I said, my work schedule changes constantly, which does not allow me to have a “tuesday bike day” and etc. I look at the block of time I have in the week and put my workouts accordingly. Revolve your plan around your life events, for instance, I had an event that was 70 miles from my house on Saturday (one of my wifes family things). Instead of packing the car, going and being pissed about missing a workout, I got started at about 6:00 and rode my bike there. By the time my wife got out of bed and got on the road, I actually got there before she did. Her family thought I was nuts, but oh well.
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Set Realistic Triathlon Goals - I would like to race an Ironman. I have gone on Ironman.com and looked longingly at which one I want to do and have even come close to pressing the button on a few. Unfortunately I had to come to the realization that it is not in the cards at this time. If I tried to pursue an IM with everything else going on, it would burn me out on triathlon and make it a dirty word with my wife. Sticking with the local races keeps me in good shape, helps me keep up with good friends in the area and allows me to keep some balance in my life.