This Use Of The Word "Epic" Needs A Moratorium In This Sport

Triathlon Forum
1

It’s made its ugly way into professional cycling. I don’t know who started it. My guess is that it was the mountain bikers in California. Maybe the surfers? Didn’t they come up with the word, “rad?” years ago. That’s worn off, thank goodness. They probably started this.

But who knows?

It’s getting way out of hand.

Even Lance Armstrong and others interviewed on OLN during the Tour were using the word “Epic.”

“It was really an epic stage out there today,” Lance Armstrong.

“That was really epic,” a commentator remarks, on Tyler Hamilton’s triumph, with his shoulder injury and stage win.

Now we have epic camps, and epiccamp.com, and, after reading the physical training logs, on this site, which describe the exploits of Scott Molina and Gordo, everything is epic.

“We had an epic bike ride this morning.”

“We had an epic breakfast.”

“What an epic swim we had.”

“The massage was epic.”

Okay, I’m exagerrating a bit, but that word is in there, like Ragu in Spaghetti.

So, it’s important to go look up this term, if it’s going to be spread around by everybody like chlymidia.

And everybody using it, at least in the context of the Tour De France, or these Epic Training Camps—well, you got lucky, because I’m thinking it just means “heroic,” and all of the jocks were just abusing the word.

But the strange thing is, it works: Websters: “Epic—Surpassing the usual or ordinary, particularly in scope or size.”

But it doesn’t work as well as the word “surreal.”

That’s what you should be using. “Epic” works, but it doesn’t work as well as the word “surreal.” When someone is riding a bike 120 miles a day, at 14,000 feet, swimming 4 miles, and running 14 miles, now, that right there isn’t “Epic,” that’s “Surreal.”

So, maybe we need to stop using the word Epic and use the word “Surreal.”

2

If you get up in the morning and your breakfast is truing your race wheels, that’s surreal.

If you grab your breakfast, travel hundreds of miles on foot, battling evil forces all the way, to throw the Bagel of Doom into a volcano, that’s epic.

4

I’m guessing the surfers…

Every generation, every sport, every industry and every clique, has to have its jargon. Dude, we’ve got “epic.” It needs work. Maybe we’ll add a few other good ones and round it out. My club does The Epic Ride two or three times a year, and “epic” fits. 107 miles with about 11,000 of climbing in the Santa Cruz mountains, Hwy 1, La Honda, Bonnie Doone, Skyline Drive, etc. Now THAT’S epic.

I’m just glad the surfers didn’t hang “tubular” on us, that would have been really confusing.

And yes, I have heard that customerjohn is sexy. I think I heard several guys down on Castro St saying that very thing, just last week!

¦:o)/

btw, the “groucho” emoticon is patented…

5

back in the 80’s my climbing friends were using ‘epic’ to describe a trip that went wrong in the most appalling life-threatening way… I had a reputation for turning all trips into epics by attracting bad weather. Given that Gordo Byrn used to be a mountain climber, he might have gotten it from there.
See
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0898864828/103-6491435-3564648?vi=glance

An ‘epic’ trip always made a good story, so I think the sense is “a long narrative poem in elevated style recounting the deeds of a legendary or historical hero” , or “a series of events or body of legend or tradition thought to form the proper subject of an epic” rather than the “surpassing the usual”. And I do think Tyler’s ride was the stuff of epics, the word is properly used tthere IMO…

6

I agree. Epic post.

7

I’m hoping for a resurrection of Valley-speak. That way I can say,

Dude!, Tupper Lake was like totally rad this year, you know? I mean, like trepindicular, fer sure!

8

To counter the Valley-speak, I submit, on behalf of New Hampshire – wicked pisser. (adj., pron. “wicked pissah”).

Example.: Sherwen to Hamilton: “Tyler, do you feel you’ve vindicated your insistence in soldiering on?.. Your 90 mile solo break off the front today was wicked pisser!”.

9

I do think that the word “epic” is losing its luster. About 15 years ago, I had a teammate on my cycling team who committed to writing the criteria that made an event qualify as an “epic.” 4 of the following 6 must happen:(#1 is mandatory)

  1. it must exceed 5 hours.(mandatory)

  2. you must spend >50% of the time lost.

  3. the weather must suck.

  4. you must have no food, no money, and no stores on the way.

  5. <50% of the route is paved.

  6. you cry at least twice.

In races, “epic” was used only if 2 of the following 3 occurred

  1. more than 1/2 the field drops out

  2. more than 2/3 of the field is involved in the same wreck (field size >80)

and see #6 above

As it is, during my 20 year career, I was involved in 5 “epic” races, 8 “epic” rides, and in 1988 I was involved in the most “epic” stack at the Tour of Somerville. That is approximately 0.7 “epics” per year. That is nowhere near the frequency that it is being used today. When I heard one of my friends describe IMLP '02 as “epic”, the first thing I did was look up the DNF list…nope, not an “epic” at all. In fact it had a smaller DNF list than a MS150. The people who embark on an IM are generally much better prepared for it these days, and therefore the likelihood of an “epic” is less. The standard for qualifying for an epic has been reduced significantly. It is now at the 1990 level for “donneybrook” and at the present rate of decline an “epic” will be anytime you get out the door to raise your heartrate above 60% of max by 2015.

It is time for us to eliminate “epic” and replace it with “tough day” and insert “wicked pisser”(that is poetry) in the slot where “epic” used to be a few years ago. “Surreal” is good too, but that is probably useful in situations where things go awry, for example “that was such a cluster fu*k, it was surreal…” We also need to get back to using “knackered” more often.

10

I second, third really, the motion in favor of ‘wicked pissah’(I spell it like it’s pronounced.)

But I gotta say pal, I thought that line came from Woostah!

We could also use ghetto-speak, aka gangsta, in which case, i believe we would say that the event was “some crazy shit”.

Example: Sherwen to Hamilton: “Yo dawg, you was G’d up from the feet up, Yo. Are you glad you decided to hang in? You were rolling with your shit off safety, and you laid them %$#@! to waste! that 90 mile break was some crazy shit. F’real!”

11

:slight_smile: Sherwen or Andreu giving *that *spiel would be outstanding. Sam Posy doing so would be even funnier.

BTW: no problem accepting the Woostah provenance, notwithstanding the fact that that’s Taxachusetts… at least technically (not like it’s Belmont, Wellesley, or – heaven forbid – BC’s “Chesnut Hill”). Feeling more magnanimous than usual towards our southern friends, given that the quintessentially wicked pissah Tylah is from Mahbelhead.

FWIW: feeding into this largesse is the fact that TH remains the reigning record holder for the Mount Washington “Hill” Climb. Never mind Luz Ardiden, Galibier, or l’Alpe d’Huez – that climb, done as an ITT, is wicked pissah!.

PS: let the record show, however, that claims were also submitted by Rochestah, Centa Bahnstead, Hennikah, and even Somahswurt-top-da-hill.

12

I submit "fcked in the head" (pron: fcked in the heeeiiiiddddd :wink: to indicate something that you’d have to be slightly nuts to do/complete.

Sure, it’s a little risque for polite company…