This. You’re past the age where the kids know what’s going on and when they have the chance, they will likely assert that (to the judge in my nephew’s case when he was old enough to petition the custody agreement). ETA: My nephew is now 30-something years old and still deals with shit from his mother, but everyone is now cordial when we are all in the same place (like recently for his son’s concert).
Kill him with kindness, emotional intelligence and document everything. Good luck!
I am not very spiritual but that sounds like the universe is telling you something.
Know what you’re marrying into?
His Initial email:
I will be attending daddy donut day on April 5
Wife’s reply tonight:
Regarding daddy donut day, 6 asked sphere to go with him several weeks ago and he’s scheduled time off work to be there with him. He will be joining 6 on Friday.
His response:
I apologize for any confusion. I was letting you know that I would be attending 6s school event as a courtesy, I was not asking permission. I am his father and I pay tuition to (school). I will be there on Friday.
(Fun fact, he asked the judge to absolve him of tuition responsibility even though he put them in the school prior to divorce and got smacked down. Also the event is April 10, not 5)
Does he know he missed it if he thinks it’s the 5th? Maybe he thinks May 5?
No, he knows it’s Friday. It’s a one man pissing contest, as evidenced by the permission snark. He doesn’t care what the kid wants, it’s always about him and entitlement.
That’s awesome!
We dunked on those kindergarteners. Wall-E for the win.
Let me guess, the d-bag took full credit for the win.
Did the Narcissist show up? Or was he there last Friday…..?
Sweet bot - well done!
Came out great. More importantly, did 6 have fun.
6 had a blast. Donor ducked out then sent an email rant about her purposeful pushing him out of their lives by “insisting” that I attend instead of him (didn’t happen) despite having talked to 6 last night and hearing from 6s mouth on FaceTime that he wanted me to go with him.
It only got more accusatory from there in hilariously disprovable ways.
Then today my wife got a text from out accountant saying her tax filing for one of the children as dependents was rejected for already having been claimed by the donor, which is a clear violation of the court order and historic precedent. Of course he denied it so now it’s another situation of fighting for what’s yours despite it already being adjudicated.
These people are vampires that will suck everything they can from you.
I wanna say that you win, and that’s what’s important.
But no: 6 won, and that truly is whatbis important.
And even better: you recognize that fact. Nice ‘bot!
6 had a blast and loves his robot. I think it was important for him to advocate for himself directly and early in this situation. He will catch blowback from him and his wife who measure good behavior by how they service his ego, but that is inevitable.
Going with him and giving him the day he deserves regardless was the right call.
“Did the Narcissist show up? Or was he there last Friday…..?”
Here’s how it played out.
The kids are with him every other weekend and he takes them 2h north to his home on those weekends and almost never deviates from the plan. They are expected to miss any and all events happening in their lives on those weekends and the resentment from the kids is building. It’s also the 4h minimum drive time that wears on them. A few weeks ago it was “his” weekend, kids picked up Friday and dropped off Sunday night, then picked up again and taken back 2h north on Tuesday (2 days later) for spring break, which was his this year, spent a week with him, dropped off again this Monday night after a 5h drive from vacation, and was scheduled to go 2h north again this Friday afternoon (after donot/robot day Friday morning). The kids were worn out an begging to stay home this Friday, understandably so.
She mentioned this in the same email that the kids were worn out from travel and time away from home, that they asked to stay home this upcoming weekend, and that she would change her work schedule to accommodate if he would allow it. This was his response:
As per the agreement, the upcoming weekend is my weekend and I will be picking up the children from school as scheduled.
In response to her letting him know as a courtesy that 6 had asked me to attend weeks ago, that the kids could invite whomever they wanted and that two people could attend, without saying or suggesting that he shouldn’t or couldn’t attend. this was the response:
I apologize for any confusion. I was letting you know that I would be attending 6s school event as a courtesy, I was not asking permission. I am his father and I pay tuition to the school. I will be there on Friday.
(Context, he has attended zero school functions for 6, zero flag football league games, zero field trips, zero anything whatsoever and only communicates with him every other weekend. I attended those events routinely)
He emailed later when I assume he realized that attending meant that he’d be there with me, and asked to talk to the kids, which happens maybe three times per year. I assumed this was his out, that he can avoid the humiliation of 6 ignoring him by listening to the kids for once and not traveling down to pick them up, which is exactly what happened.
They facetimed him shortly after. All three told him they did not want to go. He asked 6 who he wanted toi take hiim to donut day and he said said my name and that he’s excited for it. Donor (according to 6s brother) then changed his tone of voice to sound sad and mopey, 6 then handed the ipad to his brother.
She received this email shortly after:
The kids can stay with you this weekend and I will not attend donut day.
For the record, I also talked to 6 about going to Daddy Donut Day and I took off work. Your insistence on sphere going will make it very uncomfortable for 6, and I don’t won’t to put him in that situation. This is a clear and continued effort to push me out of their lives and it’s only harming the children. I am their father, I pay tuition to that school and this is deeply inappropriate. Being divorced and remarrying are not unique situations. The goal should be for the children to maintain relationships with both parents-for the benefit of the children. When the kids tell me they don’t want to go back to your house and just want to live here, I reinforce the importance of spending time with both sets of parents. I except you to do the same.
As @j_p_o can attest and as seen in his assault video, they have no qualms about lying even when the lie is laughable and easily disproved. There is zero history of her blocking access or pushing him out of their lives, but a long and documented history of him skipping out on everything that a father should do, to include two surgeries where I attended and he used the excuse of business meetings to bail on them last minute. Read properly, he’s mad that the kids and I have a good relationship, and his expectation of her being his champion and cheerleader isn’t being met.
The real kicker is the last few sentences where he completely fabricates the idea that the kids want to live there or even visit, while omitting that 6 told him he asked me to attend. They hate going there and spend almost no time with him when they are. 6 actively dislikes him, 11 tolerates him but resents the situatiion, and 13 plans to petition when she’s older so she no longer has to go. If you’re familiar with narcissistic behavior (read a Trump tweet) they will say anything no matter how ridiculous or laughably false just to feel good in that moment, to assert dominance and the appearance of control even when they have none. He’s the good and responsible one, she/we are undermining him at every turn.
He denied claiming the oldest in his tax returns but it would he pretty unlikely that someone else has, so new we have to stqrt the challenge process.
Wow. I wish you continued patience and strength. And I am glad that you and 6 had a great time together. That robot kicked ass.
Best feature was the open back flap so 6 could rotate his head from the back of the torso without appearing to touch it. Couldn’t manage articulating arms with the material and time constraints.
I would take his email, put it into ChatGPT and have it write a response without emotion laying out all the facts. And then send it to him. But I’m a petty This word is not allowed which means I’m not being very nice at the moment. Aka beyotch
